Her parents were really cool
anybodys parents like that?
shareThat's what is referred to as bad parenting. Or liberal parenting. Her parents want to be friends with her rather than actually parent. Now, it's made easier in the film because she was such a good daughter to begin with (didn't hurt that she was a twenty something playing a teenager). But no child is that mature at that age. But that's the problem - when parents try to be friends with their kids they end up getting walked all over. Someone has to be the adult, but the liberal parent just wants to be cool and liked. Ends up causing so many problems.
Her mom explaining to her that she used to be a slut was just so over the top. No parent in their right mind acts like this. Hollywood think this is normal, but in the end its just incredibly pathetic.
I thought they were the coolest parents ever, but yes, I agree with go-yankees that there was a distinct lack of discipline and a 'real' child would probably go off the rails in such a laissez-faire environment.
My parents were very cool, just as much friends as anything else, and very open about all sorts of things like the parents in the movie...but they made sure I always knew where the boundaries were, and if I stepped outside of them they came down on me like a ton of bricks, which is how it should be.
I thought it was kind of interesting how the film portrayed the nudist parents as the weirdos when her parents were weirdos in their own right. Two variations of liberal parenting.
But! Most of what her parents admitted to doing was sarcasm. They were weird, but you can't say they weren't supportive, and aware. The film didn't show the parents allowing her to take a straight man up to her room, for example, as the parents knew right away that one guy was gay and "not a threat." Shrugs, just not sure they were "bad parents," they were pretty involved.
"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep ... and you're never really awake."
As someone who grew up in Southern California, this movie nailed those characters.
The weirdo hippies were the extreme, and Olive's parents were fairly normal liberal parents for California. You might not understand this being a new-yorker (I'm guessing, & go sox btw) but it's a completely different way of life and thinking out there, and it can be just as if not more successful.
They remind me of my parents in so many ways. Mine were stricter and less liberal with me where it mattered, but their personalities were uncannily like the parents in this film, as was their friendliness and positive relationship. They were very involved, but very cool and permissive and supportive at the same time, and taught me well. I ended up making the right choices because they trusted me and guided me, not because they punished me.
And frankly, I turned out all the better for it. In my opinion, way better than I could have otherwise. You're right about her being and acting more mature than her age in the movie—I'd say my parents are more like those in the movie now that I'm older, but were less so when I was a teenager, but still the comparison is apt.
Moral of the story: It's ridiculous to think that your way of raising a child is the only correct one, and the parenting in this story is both more realistic and more successful than you might think.
Moral of the story: It's ridiculous to think that your way of raising a child is the only correct one, and the parenting in this story is both more realistic and more successful than you might think.
I never mentioned "my way" of parenting. I don't have kids yet anyway.
It's not about one way or another. It's about common sense. Any parent that tries to be friends with their kids instead of instilling some kind of discipline is going to get walked over. share
Any parent that tries to be friends with their kids instead of instilling some kind of discipline is going to get walked over.You say "any". That makes it a universal claim, which means that it only takes one counterexample to disprove.
You also say that they had instilled no discipline. You don't know that. We only saw them in regards to this span of a couple weeks, during which all of Olive's troubles were based on gossip, not actual actions.* We didn't see how she was raised or how the parents react if she actually does something horrible.
*Even her fake prostitution, since she was really just getting paid to allow more gossip about herself. share
Get a kid then you can discuss all you want about parenting. Even people who are parents don't even know what they're doing is really the best for their children. They do whatever they can to teach their children. Remember, each child is unique. One method might work with this kid but might not work with the other. Maybe her parents are the way they are because she's a fast learning and well grounded kid to begin with. Some kids all you need to do is talk to them and they'll listen. Some are just so effing stubborn that they need some whipping to get through them. I don't know about you but I personally prefer my parents to have a connection with me the same way my cousins have with theirs. Too bad my parents thought if kids made a mistake, whipping them was the only way they'd learn. Scr3w the talking and explaining and all that *beep* Being a friend with your kid is not a bad thing all the time. One of my friends didn't have his parents talking to him like a friend or making him feel comfortable around them. He ended up making a worst mistake of his life that he'll pay til the day he dies. I think if he had been comfortable to share his private life with them in the beginning, he wouldn't have paid his mistake with such a price. Sad!
shareDamn, what mistake did he make, if you don't mind me asking? (obviously its ok if you can't reveal it, not that I know who you are talking about anyway)
shareHaving and sleeping with a gf who was 4 years younger than him. Got sued by her parents. He was afraid to tell his parents so he did more stupid things. One thing led to another... That's all I can say. It was a very sad situation. His parents found out only after everything was over and by someone else. They didn't even hear it from him directly. They blamed themselves that they didn't treat him right. Very sad! Parenting is the hardest job in the world. In our culture we say giving birth is an easy job compared to parenting because the pain and difficulties end when the child comes out, but parenting is a forever non-ending job. It doesn't matter how old your children are you still keep an eye on them and make sure you raise them right. In this movie, if I remember it correctly, she came and told them that if people were calling her a slut or she had STD, they'd know she had come to them first. If you're the first person your children come to you when they have problems, I say you've done some parts as a parent, as they are humans and humans make mistakes. However, having a good or bad parenting lies on the degree of your children' mistake. Not everyone is good at what they do. We are not created equal. If we were, everyone would have the same IQ and stuff. As long as you keep trying to improve what you're doing, you're much better than people who refuse to try or change.
share"Any parent that tries to be friends with their kids instead of instilling some kind of discipline is going to get walked over."
Parents should be very clear about their own boundaries. Parents have every right to say "I want...", "I need..." etc. and see to that their wants and feelings are respected.
But they have no right to insult, oppress and degrade. Parents must always keep in mind that their children aren't their property but persons of their own who have the right to be make their own decisions, be respected and taken seriously.
I think the family in this movie is realistic. Children that are being raised in such families mature early (because they are trusted to make their own decisions) and never become rebellious. Theres nothing to rebel against, because they are respected and loved unconditionally.
Someone has to be the adult, but the liberal parent just wants to be cool and liked. Ends up causing so many problems.
My parents were both republicans and beat the crap out of us; super strict verging on child abuse. Which now is good since I am responsible except it frustrates me that nobody else follows rules. So actually it may have been a disservice. Plus, i spent my 20's trying to have fun since my childhood was like the military. My father, retired NYC cop to boot. Yeah, that was fun for all of us and now the man wonders why we feel weird around him.
Let's try some meeting in the middle.
It's jUsT LiKe cAbO
share
There is no one way to be a good parent. Every child is different and has different needs. A good parent is flexible and responsive to what their kid needs at a certain moment, be that discipline or understanding, structure or freedom.
With that in mind it is obvious that neither liberals nor conservatives have any monopoly on good parenting. No one formula works for every child, every time. Being extreme in any direction is probabably the only general thing you can say about all bad parents.
"But no child is that mature at that age."
Don't make assumptions about people like that, you don't know every teenager. I have always ben pretty mature for my age/maybe a little socially stunted. I never really partied or anything like that - still don't.
I don't think they were incredibly submissive, it's just a movie that's supposed to be funny, not a social commentary.
I can't say that I'm surprised by a post like this though on imdb.
All I saw was great parenting. They were aware, respectful, affective and supportive.
Children who grows up with such parents tend to mature early, because they have great communication with their parents, are listened to, respected and allowed to make their own decisions. Children who are always told what to do never mature.
If parents respect themselves (that means that they won't let their children walk over them) and respect their children, then their children will respect themselves and their parents. It's as simple as that.
No way. The trick is to build that kind of relationship. You have to set rules enforce more when they are young. But once you did good you did good. Not much you can do at her age except what they did, and they did it absolutely awesome.
share