Kutcher and directors missed a prime opportunity for male nudity
Why is it that the "Nudity" in ratings is invariably a definition about the women? "Spread" had plenty of nudity with T and A, but even with all that, the scenes were only coy and trite and headed toward boring. Most European-made films are more honest when they portray sexuality, as they include some full frontal nudity, when the filmmakers bother including nudity/sex at all. The Europeans have succeeded with not lingering on it, just be honest AND artistic in how it's presented. That is, NOT just in the pole-dancing scenes or copulating scenes (that latter instance would make seeing MORE anatomy into just pornography, so creativity is called for).
More nudity for the men, beyond what we would see on a warm day in the park, is what would take a movie which is treating the subject of sex or sexuality into braver and edgier geography. That's what I was expecting in "Spread" as it moved along--it started on that path, but then just repeated some tried-and-true moving diagrams on sexual positions. Were the characters even enjoying their activity?
A guy's bare chest and even a bare ass is NOT nudity, it's just socially accepted dermatological anatomy. Ya get more appreciation from art in the Vatican, for pity's sake, than "Spread" was allowed to spread.
Come on, let's admit that guys have specific anatomy below their hip bones as well and it's OKAY to put it on film and enjoy the beauty in BEING human. That's the magic of film AND acting--SEEing the character develop is believing!
When men are treated as equally as women in intimate and sex scenes, then we can feel that both women AND men are liberated to be human.
The filmmakers SHOWED us they knew how sex happens and started a brief Kamasutra to try to prove it in "Spread," but they forgot to verify in the scenes that it was two whole persons going through those motions. Cripes, they could just as well have shot those scenes with a G.I.Joe doll and a Barbie from the way they treated it....
I'm not asking for porn here, (though this film made a point about --disguised-- penetration), just the opportunity to see the beautiful people they hired being and doing beautiful work.
The same with the narcissism scenes, in the mirror and the others when Nikki was walking around "the house" or floating or swimming in the pool--as if any young guy alone, given the slightest opportunity, would have done ANY of that wearing jeans or trunks...! (If they wanted a coy kind of foreplay to it, when they showed Nikki diving into the pool wearing the trunks and emerging shoulders-only-revealed in front of his nice poolside breakfast, he could have slapped the trunks on the pool curb before he took that first bite. Just as if guys wear pajamas to bed these days--or ever--then this scene turns into a "breakfast-in-bed" inference that the just-described scene could become IF his trunks came off.)
As long as "Spread's" Samantha brought it up and Nikki finally defends himself during her final tirade scene, why doesn't the audience get to decide whether he's six or seven? (The opportunity to "illustrate" that fact/opinion would have been there in any of Nikki's many previous only-nearly nude scenes or Nikki-and-Samantha's carnal scenes or even that coy "football game" scene. The latter scene was so pitifully shot that it further emasculated Nikki into just a G.I.Joe doll.)
The costuming choices certainly didn't allow for enough "revelation" for anyone to decide if Nikki's arguable six-or-seven package could be determined--though even I found myself copping a look in several medium shots of Nikki after that. None of those jeans or briefs Nikki wore revealed any hint of his masculinity or size.
We could see by looking at his face that Samantha was wrong about Nikki's "looks are going," so why were we left dangling about her other review of Nikki's purported male size assets? Or was that scene and dialogue supposed to be "symbolic" of Samantha only being angry and spiteful? That doesn't work as an answer, because his response was only a weak defense of his male pride, since we had nothing to go on visually to validate him and to understand Samantha as being spiteful and wanting to hurt him.
Or were they just trying to be "comic" with that bit of almost DIALOG? Well, the writers ALMOST made the grade with that. But very weak and not worth it for comic value. That would have worked better if we KNEW from previous scenes that she was right. As it was, we only saw him as vainly weak, not comic.
Well then, what is the deal with timid male nudity in American films? Why is it okay to show flaccidly impressive biceps or clean-shaven pectorals and abs but not just as okay to be explicit with genitalia (aroused or flaccid, clean or naturally hirsute, the latter being another topic brought up in Nikki's narration)? This movie earned an "R" rating through its other dialog and anatomical portrayals, so why was it so fearful about full male nudity?
Is it that the filmmakers are predominantly male and don't want either themselves or their purported male audience members feeling they can't measure up to what they might see on the big screen? Come on, boys, you can do better than that. If it's done with some artistry, why can it not be acceptable and even desirable and at least NORMAL? Has any movie ever tried?
Such artistry of the nude is enshrined in places as HOLY as the Vatican, as I mentioned, and in many other art forms through most of (preserved) human history, so why is our predominant modern art form (that is, movies) skipping the opportunity to prove itself to be equally as artistic with the human form, both female and male, rather than just exploitative?
The artistry would be in making the nude acceptable AND casually but happily human rather than threatening to someone's fragile male ego/vanity. (Aren't we past that stage of adult development yet?) It doesn't have to be porn, simply art celebrating the human form, both male and female, even being female and male together. It doesn't have to be the theme of the movie, but it can contribute as one of many well done elements that contribute visually to the themes of the story.
Filmmakers strive so hard to prove that sex is a natural act amongst people when they include sex in the movies. If movies want to portray sex as part of the human condition in their story telling, why not film it with portraying fully functional human beings rather than sexless life-sized dolls going through some motions?
Note to Filmmakers: Give us fully functioning adults in your audience something to enjoy as we view and hear the art of the screen, rather than pandering to the cheering and jeering naughty boys who are sneaking peeks (or paying to sneak peeks). Again, I'm not saying you NEED to provide a sex manual, but if you're going to include sexuality, then do it with the whole human and show some artistic creativity about it, not just going through the trite litany of well-versed scenes that make up the history of sex-in-American-film to date. For example, finally fully nude foreplay scenes can be creative on film...and rather than lying-under-the-sheets-and-smoking-after-coitus, seeing post-coital nudity could get creative as well. Just a couple of suggestions on directions to explore.
Or just skip the whole "obligatory" sex scene with some creative visual metaphor instead...and leave the "R" rating to the pitifully repeated "F" word.
Further, in "Spread" the filmmakers paid very beautiful people to be in the picture (that was in the narrative theme, said in so many words in "Spread's" introductory scene), so why did they stop at some "daring" masculine waistline while portraying a Nikki who was supposed to be "daring" while challenging the cultural norms of masculine behavior?
Beauty is more than skin deep, as the saying goes, and that cliché can be just as well paraphrased as 'beauty is lower than the navel.' To the makers of "Spread," you have brought us the beautiful people on screen and if you're gonna get them undressed and active for some worthwhile reason, then stop being foolishly coy and let us enjoy all of the beauty in the process.
Or am I being naïve? Is there some "industry" standard that prevents such human portrayals? Well, then, maybe a brave, admittedly creative filmmaker/group needs to challenge that standard, as many other brave hearts have challenged other "industry standards" that have proven to be merely cultural cowardice. Otherwise, on the historical perspective, we are just children at play.
Do better than the almost-daring full-frontal drive-by that was tried ONCE in "The Piano" and then abandoned with some tail-between-the-legs hurt feelings of the industry's decision-makers. Know what you're doing first. Then proceed with some (sensitive?) creativity in an intimate scene. Or a montage of male and/or female beauty or individuality--whether it leads to a sex act or not. That would be daring, too, eh? Would we not be much more sympathetic to characters developed as whole beings, rather than trite dolls of almost nakedness.
Or skip the sex scene altogether, etc., etc.... (You'll need MUCH BETTER dialog if you take that direction for a movie treating the major themes of "Spread"....)