MovieChat Forums > The Ugly Truth (2009) Discussion > Female here, The ugly truth seems to be ...

Female here, The ugly truth seems to be accurate for the most part...

posted 13 years ago by lazygafiltafish
26 replies | jump to latest

Looks aside, I have noticed men don't care about my problems or care about my opinion. So what's the point of being in a relationship if you cannot share your triumphs AND struggles with them?

I agree with some of the posts here from men to. If you aren't "pretty", men won't approach you period. I'm not very pretty but not a beast either and it's on a rare occasion that a man strikes up a conversation with me. However, once guys are turned off by your personality regardless of you being hot, they don't want to see you anymore (well most anyway). Basically the average to ugly women get left behind.

There were only 2 things I disagreed with Mike on.
1. He proved the point that men are from Mars and women are from Venus by showing on TV that women want the romantic dinner with violins playing, when a man wants to see 2 women in bikinis jelly wrestle. He stated in the beginning that the book was mistaken and not needed for women to understand men, but what he showed on TV contradicted himself.

2. He said that men like women who keep them waiting for sex. When you don't have sex with guys fairly early on, they end up leaving you thinking you are a prude. However, if you have sex early on it changes the likeliness of a real relationship happening (this is in my experience). When I have had sex within the first few dates, to me the relationship ends up turning more into a friends with benefits relationship because most of what you start to do revolves around sex.

I'm generalizing all of this but yeah GENERALLY men are the way Mike said they are and GENERALLY women are the way Abby is. It's hard to meet the ones that are the opposite of what is shown but they are out there.

Unrelated, Katherine Heigl was the skinniness I have ever seen in this movie. Not saying her body looked bad, but she looks better when she isn't as slim like when she was in that awful movie playing a bounty hunter.

[–] psyenergy 13 years ago

I think you and alot of girls and guys are taking this stupid comedy movie too seriosly i mean if you even consider to facter in real life you're retarded.. This is why i hate stupid unfunny poorly acting sterotypical comedys...

[–] lazygafiltafish 12 years ago

I'm almost 28 years old. I could have assisted with the writing in this movie!

You don't think ANY movie has ever had any truth to it inspired by outside observations and experiences LMAO

[–] psyenergy 12 years ago

Dou you even know the meaning of the word comedy? If you think that comedy of anykind is related in real life you're retarded (as said before)

[–] lazygafiltafish 12 years ago

So you are saying that every comedy isn't inspired by something? Name calling and insulting really makes your point stronger.

[–] psyenergy 12 years ago

No its true that men have an attraction some stronger than others, but we don't think of women as sexual objects. You can think of us that way but i have pride.

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jnic7594 11 years ago

I think you and alot of girls and guys are taking this stupid comedy movie too seriosly i mean if you even consider to facter in real life you're retarded.. This is why i hate stupid unfunny poorly acting sterotypical comedys...

Who the hell are you to tell her whether or not this movie does or doesn't match experiences in HER life? If she said it is HER experience that men are like that in real life, then it's HER experience. Period. And she did admit there are exceptions to this by the way. You act like she made this comment directly about you, as an insult to you. You're pretty damn selfish. She was talking about the men she has met, so unless you're one of those, be quiet.

"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world."

[–] AfroGeek 12 years ago

The movi e was an attempt to start a dialogue but the arguments came off simplistic to me. Not every guy is a pig who wants to watch TnA TV all day or that's what would be on all day.

Amy: I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!

[–] cliff_niblr031 12 years ago

psyenergy wrote "No its true that men have an attraction some stronger than others, but we don't think of women as sexual objects. You can think of us that way but i have pride."

LOL! Now that's comedy.

You're saying men don't think of women as sexual objects. Are you talking about straight guys or gays? Because most straight guys (that are looking for casual hookups and NOT marriage) ARE definitely looking at females as sexual objects.

Don't take my word for it. There's tons of actual research data collected over the years to back that up.

Yeah, and insulting other posters doesn't make your arguement any more valid.

On an unrelated topic I found the film to be a harmless piece of comedic fluff. Not great, but not bad either. I've definitely seen worse. Pretty much anything with the cast from the Hangover comes to mind.

Others include, but not limited to: Seth Rogen, Zach Gally-whatever the heck his last name is, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrel, and that other dude from that tv show the Office Steve Carrel.. they're all just so terrible and so unfunny.

Although I did like Ferrel in Megamind.

[–] AfroGeek 12 years ago

Agreed on your unfunny list; Will Ferrell is what they call a comedy sniper. When he hits it's hilarious, but there's a lot of dead air in between. Adam Sandler stopped being funny years ago (check out his old comedy CDs with the Kermit on weed bit). It's like there's some Hollywood producer plot to keep shoving those guys down our throats. Ben Stiller probably wipes his a** with scripts he gets so many sent to him.

Amy: I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!

[–] silverred999 10 years ago

So, men are bigots? I'm sorry but the most evil people I can think of see people as objects. To do that is bigoted and inhuman. Nobody cares about who you are attracted to. If you see human beings as either someone you want to mate or not, you are no better than an ape.

[–] belva0308 12 years ago

I have to agree with you. I am a woman in her mid forties. If I am being real with the opinions, there is some truth in this movie. I was a women who was waiting for "Mr. Right" who had to like all of the same things I liked and be interested in old movies, going out to nice dinners and bringing me flowers once in a while. What I didn't realize is that I just wasn't good looking enough to get that sort of treatment. The other thing I didn't realize is that anyone who gave me that treatment would be lying to me for one reason or possibly not ready to face that they were gay.

Hot Women get the smart/funny guys. Decent looking guys with a good sense of humor can get any woman they want. Fat/ugly women get what they can and it doesn't matter at all if they have the best personality in the world, you won't get the alpha male.

They are right, but women don't want to admit it. They want to put men in a "fantasy" world instead of admitting they aren't cut that way. We are very different and there is more truth in this movie than people want to admit. The sooner you face it, the better.

Sounds harsh but I am old enough and married enough to admit this is the way it goes.

"Mr Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news at once."

[–] MyNameIswha 12 years ago

Why kind of guy did you marry? And how did you meet? Just curious after reading your post.

[–] belva0308 12 years ago

He is a pretty decent guy. He has a job that he is at 11 hours a day, 5 days a week and is a manager. He works in the farm/labor industry but is not a farmer. We met when I foolishly or maybe not (never have decided) moved from California to a small town in MN. We met at a co-ed volleyball game. He is a very good Dad, a good man and a pretty good husband. Being totally honest he doesn't have many of the same interests as I do other than traveling. Not really much of a romantic either, but he tries.

I am happy overall. I know my place in life. I retain the inner part of me that loves rock music and reading and old movies.

"Mr Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news at once."

[–] MyNameIswha 12 years ago

Thats great! I'm glad you were able to find a good guy. I'm starting to realize that the reason i havent found a guy because im always expecting the guy you see in the movies, the one that is your "soul mate" and matches you perfectly.

I wish that existed, but i think what matters now is just finding a good guy, that will be a good husband and father. And not worry so much about finding the perfect guy.

Having some happiness in our life is most important, so im glad you've found some happiness in your life. =)

I think its hard for me, because i have all this stupid baggage from when i was a kid. my parents divorced when i was 5, he cheated on my mom. I always feel like any guy i meet will eventually get tired of me and walk out. i was always getting put down by my dad i used to have weight issues, so now i feel like no one will ever accept me as i am. so this affects my relationships.

last year, i got into a fight with my dad, and he told me that i am like my mother, and no man will ever want me, unless i change. It really gets to me, as a kid he thought i was fat, as an adult he hates my personality, where do you go from there? i feel like unless im willing to just become another person, i wont ever find a relationship, sometimes i wonder if itll be best, for me, to just accept being alone.

sorry for the long post. probably think im weird huh? =)

[–] belva0308 12 years ago

WoW! That is freaky familiar. My Dad and Mom were divorced but not until I was 23. He DID however, cheat on her several times and he and I never really got along. I felt the same way. I watched movies like crazy and I really thought movies were accurate and I would find someone like that. All I can tell you is that the day I met my husband I honestly stopped for a second and thought to myself, "this could be the guy I marry." I had never really thought that before. Also, I had a lot of guy friends. It caused me to have a better idea of what was out there.

Don't be afraid. I was too and my husband has been a good man. He has been patient with my freaky insecurities. I really understand where you are coming from. The thing I really liked about this movie was that Gerard Butler wasn't a "perfect' guy, he was just a guy.

"Mr Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news at once."

[–] MyNameIswha 12 years ago

Thanks for the advice, it makes me feel a lot better. I always thought that no guy will ever put up with my insecurities. I guess i just have to keep an open mind, and try not to judge every guy based on my insecurities.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, it means a lot.

[–] jimakros 12 years ago

@belva0308

i disagree with your post about "rating men".If anything.this movie shows just the opposite.That the best man for any woman is not the "perfect" guy-a ALPHA male as you call that kind of man,which in this movie is the doctor,who has objectively everything,- but a guy who is closer to what the woman is like.
I definitely agree with that.
Also,unlike what women think,many men dont go for looks alone,personaly i am much more attracted to a womans voice and personality,but i must admit i do expect an average level of looks,but its not what will atttract me.

Also,i think this movie is not half as bad as some people make it out to be,its a decent rom-com with attractive stars.

[–] rex-reyesiii 12 years ago

Also,unlike what women think,many men dont go for looks alone,

Well I think no one goes for looks alone IF a relationship is involved, but as the OP says, it helps, alot. :)

"Haha!" - Nelson Muntz ... pointing at you. :)

[–] vyperman7 12 years ago

The ugly truth is that men get companionship from their male friends and love from their mom's. So if it wasn't for sex, we wouldn't be pursuing you. Now the ironic thing is that a lot of men would prefer to be in a great long term relationship. But we save the emotional vulnerability for a woman who truly pleases us in bed. So when women attach sex to emotions, inhibit themselves, and make a guy wait the more emotionally unavailable he will be.

The secret? To separate sex from emotion. Be completely uninhibited and a freak in bed. Have sex for the pure physical pleasure. Since this is how guys think, we relate a lot better to it, and we end up feeling more comfortable because you aren't an overly emotional co-dependent.

Personality and character also do matter in the long run. There has to be more than just sex. But sex is what matters most to men initially and any "nice guy" who claims he could care less about sex is the biggest liar in the bunch. At least with dominant alpha males like me, I am honest.

[–] Augustus_Octavian 11 years ago

May I know why is it that you took so long to realize that? Isn't it somewhat self-evident that typically you need a high rank yourself in order to realistically command a high ranking mate?

Or is it more because of the media portrayal of the ideal partner? Or just young adults having such wishes?

[–] IL_Maestro 11 years ago

why r u saying that? nobody is not good looking enuff to get anything
every girl is good looking enuff in someone's opinion, opinions differ from someone to another
but I would differ abt "Mr. Right", it is not like movies bringing flowers and nice dinners and going out etc...
I believe love is a feeling, could be expressed by any action that differs from someone to another
anyone gave u that treatment was lying, coz he was acting that he loves u and how would a person act that way? by following movies as it is natural and not a feeling he really got inside him
everybody is alpha whether male or female, at least according to someone except those who r waiting for a guy/girl like they see in movies
seems u r not really happy with what u got, maybe if u got "Mr. Right" u r referring to u would be less happy than u r now
I hope u would be happier and find everything u r looking for or realize if u got it coz it is a matter of how u look at it and not what u really have :)

[–] activista 11 years ago

@belva0308

Hot Women get the smart/funny guys. Decent looking guys with a good sense of humor can get any woman they want. Fat/ugly women get what they can and it doesn't matter at all if they have the best personality in the world, you won't get the alpha male.

That's true---the thing is,though,looks alone aren't enough to keep a relationship together. Looks come and go--personality stays forever. Sure the good-looking people get other good-looking people, but how long do any of them really stay together long enough to really get to know each other, and build a strong, trusting relationship that will actually last after their looks are gone? You make it sound like women just have to settle for whatever comes along and that's it. Screw that----marriage isn't the be-all and end-all for everybody---women have been getting that idea shoved into their heads forever and a day. Life goes the hell on whether you get married or not---what matters is how you're going to live your life from this moment on, and what makes you happy.

I think men and women both have been screwed up by all this Hollywood happily ever after BS anyway,and all these stereotypes we're been made to believe the other has to be---and I also think too many rom-coms don't always deal with the reality of marriage after all the hype around the romance is over, and how living day-to-day life with the person you marry really is. I happens to like rom-coms, if they're done well, and especially if they're not the typical predictable Hollywood BS (like 500 DAYS OF SUMMER, which was not only good but had a more realistic ending than you usually see in roms-coms.)

[–] IL_Maestro 11 years ago

u think of urself as not very pretty
if I told u r very pretty, it would mean (to u) that either I am lying to have sex with u or that my taste is that bad to see u as very pretty
it is a matter of taste, when I met couple of girls who thought of themselves as not pretty, they didn't like being told they r pretty by me
they freaked out
coz they thought that everybody looks at them the same, if some guys thought they ain't pretty then that is the way that every guy should think of them which is so stupid (I mean them)
so now I don't like telling that kind of girls that they r pretty, I can't tell them something they wouldn't understand or believe
I think media taught a lot of girls and guys that everybody has the same taste like others or it is not a matter of taste but a matter of facts
meaning that this girl is pretty, everybody thinks so
this one is not as pretty, everybody thinks so
I think everybody has got a different taste than the others, every girl is viewed as pretty in some guys' eyes and she needs only one guy to see that coz the rest don't (or lets say shouldn't) matter to her
a lot of guys wouldn't really like to show interest in a girl they think not everybody view her as pretty, some r shy fearing rejection and some r ashamed of liking a not-so-pretty girl
abt ur two points I am sorry but I didn't understand the first point
the second point I can't judge it, it is not the same here in my country so I can't really reply to it
sorry if that was a long post but I found that topic interesting.

[–] babuandbabu 11 years ago

100% truth.

"Friends are dangerous things" ~ John Cavil

[–] nitestar95 9 years ago

1. Looks count. For everyone. Consider: You walk into a party. The first thing you do after greeting your host, is look around to see who you want to meet. And you know this within about 30 seconds of getting there, and all you know is what they look like. 2. Women like taller men with assets and status, men like beautiful women, younger being better than older, and usually don't care a whit about how much she makes or how much money she has (where as women definitely are concerned about those two things about men). Another thing, most men don't care how tall a woman is; so you can put away those heels, ladies. Height is a concern for women, so they think men care about it too. Nope; if you're beautiful, you can be 4'10" tall, and if you're ugly, being 5'10" won't help you, where as a man who's five feet tall and cute with no money won't get anywhere in comparison to a six foot four inch, rich Shrek look alike. We have different things we look for. Big qualifier? If someone is sexually repulsive to us, no personality in the world is going to make up for that. 3. Men and women enjoy different things, and communicate differently. Early in life, men will put up with just about any personality deficits if the woman is physically attractive, because he's sexually drawn to her. As she gets older and he's been with her a while, she becomes less sexually attractive, and he'd rather be with someone else. This applies to every couple (the Coolidge effect). Sorry, but you can't change human nature.
For the 'average looking women' out there: Look the best you can; telling men 'this is what I look like, take it or leave it' isn't the type of person we're looking for. Way too many women have decided that looks shouldn't count, so they have stopped trying to look good. Which is fine, if you want to date other women. Also, men are primarily attracted to women with a waist/hip ratio of around 70%, the further away from that you are, the fewer men who be interested. Also, remember, men work 'backwards'. Testosterone is powerful: Every woman is a potential mate unless there's something about you that turns him off. Men don't have a 'laundry list' of what we want in a woman in the way that women have a list of what she wants in a man. A man wants someone he's physically attracted to, who's generally nice to him, and doesn't spend all his money. Anything else, is gravy; just don't figure on him wanting to talk to you endlessly the way you talk with your girlfriends.