I'm sorry. I found this too boring to enjoy.

Usually when I watch a movie, I don't like to look away for long because I'm afraid I'll miss something. If I get distracted for more than a few seconds I have to backtrack to catch a conversation I missed.

With this movie, I quickly discovered that I could text or check status replies and miss nothing - a bunch of guys would still be sitting around yammering about the economy when I refocused. This movie bored me to tears. Why?

Maybe it was the disjointed way the scenes weren't shown chronologically. I don't mind when things get mixed up a little, but this was ridiculous. It wasn't artistic. It wasn't clever. It was just confusing.

Maybe it was because Sasha Grey's character does virtually nothing interesting for the entire movie. I genuinely wanted to see this former porn star show a different side of herself, and I barely got that. The movie required no acting range from her. All she had to do was sit still and say in a monotone "I don't like to talk about myself that way," or "his birthday matches mine" or "that is so interesting." I did enjoy the Q-tip catharsis though. That was moving.

Maybe it's because the economic discussions added nothing to the movie. Or maybe I just didn't care about how the economy tied into this story.

Maybe "showing, not telling" really IS a golden rule for a screenplay. Maybe instead of Grey narrating "we had fancy wine at a restaurant and then sex in the hotel, but he was too endowed" they should have, you know, showed THAT instead of her riding around in the back of a cab for half the movie telling us what we never saw.

The Girlfriend Experience was a chore to sit through.