MovieChat Forums > Été 85 (2021) Discussion > Did Alex love David

Did Alex love David

posted a year ago by puremind (254)
6 replies | jump to latest

Difficult question.

After the death of his father, David developed a borderline personality structure. This is evident from his risk taking behavior, and his rapid attachment to Alex.

Did Alex fantasize "his best friend" or ideal boyfriend? Yes and No.

Borderline personalities can be fantastic in that they procure the feeling of being entirely and immediately loved, it can be very attractive to an insecure adolescent. The issue with borderline is that in the moments of deep attraction, everything is as perfect as it could ever be. In that sense, David really loved Alex, and Alex truly loved David.

However, borderline personality structures require a lot of prior exposure to deal with. Alex simply was not equipped to deal with the crisis, he did not know the signs of a reversal. Had he known, he could have maintained his faith in David despite the self-destructive behavior. David himself did not believe he was worthy and sabotaged the relationship and himself with it.

But also David lacked experience. A more experienced borderliner would have known to protect Alex against his impulses. He might have warned Alex that what they

[–] pepetoony (1744) 10 months ago

Interesting take. It never crossed my mind while watching this that David had BPD. But now that you mention it, I do see some of the signs! I'd just chalked it up to the filmmaker turning David's personality traits 'up' a few notches for the sake of the movie. I mean, David's mother was the exact same way. She was extremely quick to ingratiate herself to Alex and then just as quick to cut him off.

You have a very pragmatic take on dealing with BPD. I'm assuming you either have first-hand experience with it or are a counselor of some sort?

Also what did you think of the ending where Alex rides off into the sunset with a new guy? I wasn't crazy about it because to me it sort of insinuated that people are replaceable. If one dies, you just dance on his grave and then move on! A bit of an odd thing coming from Alex's character.

[–] puremind (254) 10 months ago

Yes, I have first hand experience with BPD, Sociopathy and Disssociative Personality Disorder.

I think Ozon is not cerebral in that way, I don't think he intentionally portrayed BPD, more likely he had such an experience but never made the connection with BPD and just depicted the relationship as it was. I think it is also the reason why his character is bouncing back. I think Alex was lucky that he learnt about the fact that David was running after him, it helped him realize that David loved him and his words were just his love anxiety and self-destructive behavior. In the end, he probably realized that he might have had a chance at mending the relationship if he had had a different reaction, because David probably still loved him.

I think it is natural for someone who was traumatized by a relationship to try and do better in a new relationship. We always tend to try to reenact past trauma (with a parent, and/or past relationship) to provoke a different ending. Hence the boat trip - when we feel we have failed something in our past, we try to find similar profile and circumstances to give ourselves the happy ending we never had.

[–] pepetoony (1744) 10 months ago

Wow...you make a lot of great observations that I either hadn't considered or didn't notice! I really enjoy reading your posts. Thank you!

[–] puremind (254) 10 months ago

This reminded me of a film that had a similar ending but where the parent actually forgives the kid. In here the mother was really immature and without consideration for what he must be going through. In that other film there was that scene where the kid is unsure how the parent will react, if they are here to harm them, and then the parent takes them in their arms. I think the film was Close by Lukas Dhont. Every bit as moving!

[–] pepetoony (1744) 10 months ago

Oh yea, Close is an excellent film. I see you actually replied to one of my comments under that movie about six months ago! Small world haha. Have you ever seen Heartbeats aka Les Amours Imaginaires? I bet you'd really enjoy that movie if you liked the other two.

[–] puremind (254) 10 months ago

Yes I did! Very good film indeed. Add me on IG at puremaze.