MovieChat Forums > The Millionaire Matchmaker (2008) Discussion > I wish Patti would set me up! (I hope ot...

I wish Patti would set me up! (I hope others read this)

posted 10 years ago by ToySoldier87
4 replies | jump to latest

This may seem like a vent, which kind of may be...

As gay single male (and not out to everyone but to close friends), however especially with online datin, I feel I'm never attractive enough or good-looking enough for other men or ones I'm attracted to (since I'm only attracted to masculine men). It's been a very emotional ride for me. Most guys my age just seem to want sex instead of monogamous relationships. It's been very trying and dealing with my orientation. I feel I'll never be able to find love or someone whom would be interested in me. I wrote this for the simple fact to see if anyone can relate, regardless of being straight or gay.

[–] big_kmc 10 years ago

Sorry for your troubles. I do think it's hard for both males like you or females to find "nice guys". Our culture seems only to produce man babies who are terrified of responsibility and their feelings. I do think the secret to dating is getting rid of the illusion that there are tons of fish in the sea. Even Madonna or Brad Pitt will tell you they have only been in love with a handful of people. You are looking for someone with resonance to yourself. Just learn to be alone. That's very hard as we distract ourselves from the secret that we are all alone. Even married people feel alone many times. Once you are ok with that you will truly find someone from a position of relaxed power vs. quiet desperation.

There's a really good book called Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix. Get that book and read it. You'll never take rejection personally again. Also I bet you one day one of your friends will fix you up. I tend to be right about my hunches! good luck.

[–] ToySoldier87 10 years ago

Thank you very much for your post & kindness. I always seem to be chading the guys rather than them chasing after me. Would like it for it to be the other way around with someone whom I'd really like. I will definitely look into that book you had suggested. I take rejection really hard & never feeling good enough half the time.

[–] big_kmc 10 years ago

The book will help. Also it's helpful to look into writings that are critical of our culture. For example this is a great video right here that address the cookie cutter endorsements of how the education system erodes our divergent thinking or creativity. The idea is not to get stuck in this type of stuff but just to see what our culture values, why, and if that is something that upholds health and freedom. It's about learning how not to take this stuff personally so you can be free to look for what matters to you most even if it's hard to find.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

[–] 10 years ago

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