MovieChat Forums > (500) Days of Summer (2009) Discussion > Summer was a hypocrite

Summer was a hypocrite

posted 11 years ago by WorstCaseOntario
12 replies | jump to latest

"I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and... now he's my husband... it was meant to be."

Well why wasn't it meant to be when they were in the elevator together and she commented to him about The Smiths? Seems like an identical situation. Her "meant to be" explanation is BS. She didn't end up with that other guy because it was "meant to be", she ended up with that other guy because that's who she wanted to be with. And the fact that she has absolutely no empathy or consideration for Tom and his feelings makes her a despicable character.

[–] TDizzle21 11 years ago

True words but this is how females think hahahah

[–] vyperman7 11 years ago

Can you blame Summer?

Tom had no identity of his own. His whole world revolved around her. It made her feel rightfully suffocated. Even in the beginning, Tom was indecisive and showed no backbone. He let Summer make the first move and lead the whole interaction.

If Tom had shown some passion for life going after what he truly wanted to be, and actually showed balls with Summer, she would have wanted more with him. But she could never truly respect him enough to want a relationship.

Ironically, the Autumn version of Tom would have gotten Summer. But in the end, as much pain as he went through, the experience made him become a better version of himself and meet a woman that was right for him (presumably anyways).

[–] Danny-Sichmeller 11 years ago

Ehhhh kinda true kinda not. I've met plenty of girls who want there bf life to be centers around then. Date a Hispanic girl and you'll see glad I got outa that xD.

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Independent_Critic 11 years ago

Your 100% right! Sad but a realistic reality to which without Summer he wouldn't have grown to be a better version of himself .

[–] fairy_depp 10 years ago

I don't think she meant that she realised at that point that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him... The same as with Tom, she found him interesting and so spent more time with him and whereas with Tom, she realised he wasn't the one, she realised the new one was... She didn't say it was immediate

[–] blindvias-071407 10 years ago

Tom's weakness was failing to admit Summer wouldn't give him the love he wanted and deserved. Sometimes that is a hard thing to admit when you meet someone like Summer. Tom clearly remained hopeful that she would come around, yet she likely did not have that kind of interest.

Summer said she didn't want a boyfriend, and Tom sort of played along with her agenda at the start. Yet, he never hid his true feelings for her, did he? The look on his face was telling. Tom wanted love, not just a pal. He couldn't help falling for Summer's qualities. In my opinion he remained in denial about the limits to how much he meant to her. Tom was her fun friend, someone she could have a penis shouting match with.

[–] PrimeMinisterOfTheSinister 10 years ago

Women don't think. Women feel. They run off of emotions, not rational thought. That's why they're such cruel, heartless harpies with a complete disregard for how their actions affect those around them.

[–] MsAnaS 10 years ago

So you never had someone liking you and doing all the "right" things for you and you knowing that in paper that person is great but never "feeling it"? Or do you fall for everyone that likes you and wants to have a relationship with you?

Somehow, we feel more attracted towards some people than others. With some we click, with others we don't, even if we try. That's what I think happened with Summer. She likes Tom but she never had "that click".

Now, where I think she failed was on leading him on. However it's also his responsability for not listening to her when she said she didn't want a relationship (with him) and trying to change her just because he was so into his fantasy of a relationship with her. Both are at fault. Both are human, and people change.

[–] BelleStar82 10 years ago

Two different things. Summer's point was not that meeting someone where coincidence is involved makes them "meant to be." She was reflecting on the person she was deeply in love with and married. She was musing that if she didn't happen to be sitting there at that moment, she may have missed the love of her life.

She did meet Tom and liked him, but she never was deeply in love with him. Her point is highlighted later when we are led to believe that Tom and Autumn are meant to be. It was confirmed they crossed paths. It is implied that Tom was so preoccupied with Summer, that he missed his chances. Luckily, fate was giving him another opportunity.

Actually, it probably was fated that Tom and Summer meet. Without Tom, Summer might have blown off the future husband, but what she learned from Tom about love made things click for her. Likewise, without Summer, Tom would still be insecure/naïve about love/working a job that wasn't his true calling. The new Tom would be much more attractive to Autumn.

Also, "no empathy?" Would someone without care or empathy seek out their ex to tell them that he was "right?"

[–] TheCommenteer 9 years ago

Yep, the OP just couldn't understand what was being said in the scene.

[–] zee944 10 years ago

You're right, but it is accurate to reality. Women do behave like that.

Men have to learn to translate things women say sometimes.