If Zooey Deschanel, or her look-alike, asked YOU any of these questions, with the answer "no" having the potential to immediately terminate the relationship, who would answer any of those questions honestly?
If you're not honest with a person you are/want to be in a relationship with, that's an issue with
you, not them.
And to answer your question, yes, I would, and have. I don't regret it, because those aren't relationships worth being in long term. They don't end well most of the time (unsurprisingly, neither did this one.) But, if you choose to stay in a relationship (of any kind) where the other person tells you they can't give you what they want, well, don't be surprised if it doesn't work out how you want.
All of these warning signs you point to show that...Summer is perfectly capable of seeing what was going on much more clearly and making the decision to end the relationship to spare Tom enormously hurt feelings...She sees every single one of these red flags and does nothing, because she's getting some.
But here's the problem: Tom lied to her, repeatedly, in response to direct, straightforward questions about what he wanted.
Look, I'm not saying Summer couldn't and shouldn't have pressed him a bit more. In my mind, they're
both at fault for not just sitting down like adults and having a conversation about the status of their relationship. (I always found it incredibly telling that they're sitting at the kids' table at Millie's wedding) The scene at Tom's apartment after the fight is a perfect example. Both of them should have realized they were wrong for each other at that point
My point is, between the two people involved in this relationship, there is one person who is in a clearer emotional position to assess the health of the relationship and to take steps to do something about that. That person certainly wasn't Tom.
I kind of get what you're saying. We've all had times where emotion overwhelmed logic. And, to reiterate, I agree that both of them had clear indications that the relationship wasn't going to work and should be ended
But Tom is an adult. He's got a responsibility to take care of his own emotional health in any relationship. His inability to do so is not Summer's fault. Adults shouldn't get into a situation (romantic or otherwise) involving someone else, and then essentially say "Well, I'm in no state to examine this situation rationally and figure it out, so it's all on you." You're right that Tom was probably too distracted by thinking Summer was the one to act in an appropriate manner, but that's a problem with his character, not hers.
She sees every single one of these red flags and does nothing, because she's getting some. That's pretty sh!tty
I don't disagree that Summer ignored things about their relationship. But Tom ignores red flags and does nothing as well. Why is his decision to do so any more noble than hers? Because he believes in true love and she doesn't (or didn't)?
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