MovieChat Forums > Love Lies Bleeding (2008) Discussion > Things I learned after watching this rub...

Things I learned after watching this rubbish - SPOILERS

posted 17 years ago by geoff_giese
11 replies | jump to latest

Spoilers? This was already spoiled. What a waste.

1. Always talk trash to gangbangers when you're outnumbered 5:1 and don't have a weapon and they do.

2. After gangbangers have ripped you off several times and beaten the crap out of you, don't lock your apartment door.

3. Especially don't lock the door when a defenseless woman is alone in your apartment and gangbangers can just walk in and rip you off again and beat the crap out of your beloved.

4. After you rip off a large sum of the gangbanger's money, don't buy a low-key car for your getaway, get something that flashy and rare that can be easily recognized anywhere.

5. After you've ripped off the gangbangers money, ALWAYS leave the stolen money out in the open where anyone can walk off with it. Also, don't ALWAYS keep an eye on the stolen money.

6. After you've left the money out in the open and it's been ripped off from you once, continue to leave it out, open for anybody to steal it again.

7. After you've got all the money you'll ever need in your life, go to Vegas, win big and attract lots of attention - people looking for their money will never follow you.

8. When looking for a murder suspect within a casino, the casino's security won't be suspicious when a badly bruised, beaten woman dressed in a maid's outfit 4 times her size trys to exit.

9. The best place to conceal stolen money is in the bushes in a run-down apartment complex full of low lifes where any lowlife might find it.

10. After you successfully elude the bad guys in a car chase, pull over into a power plant instead of using your lead to outrun them.

11. Every writer of a suspense/thriller knows that when the bad guys are chasing you, you should always head upwards - with no escape downwards, so they can easily kill you.

12. Power plants that have hundreds of people working there during the day don't require any maintenance past 5 o'clock, so the place will be empty at 5:01 pm. The power plant mysteriously runs itself without human intervention after hours.

13. Be sure the plot has enough imbecilic holes and stupid moves in the script so that the entire audience prays for the "hero's" death to take him out of the human gene pool so people of his level of stupidity can't reproduce.

[–] Raglan22 17 years ago

Thank you - now i don't have to watch it myself.

...and it saddens me.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] geoff_giese 17 years ago

Good post...that deserves #14.

14. If you're a cop and you meet an out of town cop for the first time and he doesn't seem nervous to you, then you should automatically assume he's a corrupt cop (unlike yourself) and then when you find him gunned down by a couple of wanted criminals, you should plant a gun on him to make your theory look more believable.

[–] quark42 17 years ago

This is fun:

15. Have some sappy fantasy line to bore your loved ones with verbatim every time the mood hits you.

16. Mix some limeaide and cyanide together and STFU!!!

I know he can get the job...but can he do the job?

[–] sugarscamp 17 years ago

I agree with all the posts; this movie is absolute cr*p. Let's see,
#17. Hotel staff would give out your room number to anyone who asks at the front desk

#18. A bad guy who has only seen you briefly after you steal some money would know enough information about you to find out where you live

There's this part which I wasnt entirely sure I was right about but, didnt the room service/waiter guy hid some money in his locker?

#19. When a hotel employee gets into a fight with someone in the kitchen, all the other employees just stand around NOT helping but point and enjoy the scene

#20. Bad guys would know EXACTLY which hotel you are hiding in.

[–] fbauler 16 years ago

Hey, thank you for saying everything I wanted to say!

13. Be sure the plot has enough imbecilic holes and stupid moves in the script so that the entire audience prays for the "hero's" death to take him out of the human gene pool so people of his level of stupidity can't reproduce.

This was the best one!!!

[–] tropicvibe 16 years ago

Huahahahahahaha!!! I get more entertainment and laughs reading IMDB posts than actually watching a movie!!!

[–] ya-pamarque 16 years ago

Just watched the movie, i confirm it's the biggest crap i see for ages !
(and the french dubbing is terrific too).

18. When you tie a girl which a rope to a pipe, do it properly as she can free herself in 3 seconds. Also, leave a saw in order to dut herself the (big) rope in 4 seconds.

[–] lovelindvall 16 years ago

I'm guessing you meant to write nr. 21 so I continue on...

22. When you shoot a security guard 4 times in the chest and later, when you're interrogated, claim that 2 shots were fired, no one will notice.

23. When you've beaten the crap out of the guy that stole "your" money, finish him off by barbequeing his face.

24. If a guy beats you up and burns your face, don't tell on his girlfriend when she tries to get past the police dressed as a maid. Just stare at her for a while.

25. Maids will sell their working outfit to you for money and even wear your old clothes afterwards eventhough they don't fit.

26. Saying something obvious like: "When you make a choice, the outcome could be good or bad." will seriously impress your girlfriend.

27. When you're pregnant you can feel if it's a boy.

28. Necklaces don't break if you snatch them.

29. A corrupt cop will shoot a security guard who asks for his ID eventhough he has one.

30. Cops don't care about poor people.

31. Real limeade is an important part of leading a successful life.

32. Good cops don't curse but they plant evidence.

[–] lovelindvall 16 years ago

Oh almost forgot this one..

33. Gangbangers who get their hands on some serious money will keep living in the same shack and keep stealing their neighbour's stuff eventhough they no longer have to. They will also store the money in the same bag in the middle of their living room.

[–] freakseed 16 years ago

34. When tracking down a previously employed gardener to re-acquire money you've stolen from a corrupt cop, it's important to be oblivious to the fact that you are being followed by not just one, but TWO sets of law enforcement officials.

35. When you see a bloody corpse covered in glass lying outside of a gangbangers apartment, by all means enter the apartment immediately without fear of being implicated (or KILLED!).

36. A common law officer will always stop to see if you're okay if you are sitting in your car with your headlights on.

37. Powdered Limeade is crap. And if you don't believe me I'll say three times.