Best lines thread

Me and my friend are quoting freaks, we have a million copied down. But since the board censors curse words, this post is gonna have bleeps all over the place. LOL I think I'll submit them to imdb.

I'm not gonna paste all of them, but here's some of my faves:

Neil: I have an idea. Me and you, we get outta town, 3-day weekend, ok? Somewhere out in nature, I want there to be a mountain, maybe some deer walk around. We feed 'em with our hands, right? Maybe we kill it, eat it, I dunno. I wanna have some fun. Are we wearing pants? I haven't thought that far ahead yet. But it'd be nice to see you running around, dick knocking back and forth like a grandfather clock. It's gonna be a party. Tell me you're onboard for this.
Paulie: Not the way you just described it.
Neil: Shh! I want you to stop thinking with this *points to Paulie's head*, and start thinking with this *points to Paulie's heart*, and a little bit of that *points to Paulie's crotch*, hmm?
Paulie: Neil, you know I'm not gay.
Neil: What, gay? Who's gay? I will bite your penis if you say I'm gay again! I will nibble on your nutbag like a frightened squirrel. Num num num num num. For hours, I'll do that.

Dina: Oh, that's so cute. You just garnished a skank.

Joey: She caught me.
Paulie: Cheating?
David: You cheated on her?
Joey: No, I didn't cheat on her.
Paulie: What other caught is there?
Joey: You know, a little five-on-one. Releasing the hostages.
David: What?
Paulie: She caught you watching CNN?

Daryl: Well, if he needs Marshall cabs, man, why not? That's easy for me to do, cause I know I screwed up in the past. I really wanna do the right thing.
Dina: Daryl Hall, are you asking me to marry you?
Daryl: *beep* no! I'm talking about maybe, like, a used Honda.
Dina: A used Honda?! That's what Bob means to you, after I pushed him out, with his huge head? You offer a used Honda?

Neil: Dina, did you not hear me screaming outside, hangin' off the side of a truck like a fat Spiderman?
Dina: Neil, this is my friend, Daryl Hall.
Neil: Whoa, Daryl Hall! Oh, my God! I'm a big fan, man!
Dina: Neil, we were kinda in the middle of a conversation.
Neil: No, I know, I'm happy I was able to join! You wanna hear a crazy story?
Dina: No!
Neil: And stop me if you've heard it, you probably get this a lot. This is a good one. It's 9th grade, I steal my mom's car. I got this girl, she's goin' down on me. We're hot and heavy, I make a joke, "You're almost as good as your brother is at this." Alright, she bites my cock. I'm screaming, she's crying... Maneater comes on, and we high-five and giggle for an hour. Please tell me that was your vision when you wrote that song.
Daryl: Well, you know, you're not too far off. That's sorta what the song is about.
Neil: I knew it!

Joey: There were at least seven or eight random acts of violence in that song.
David: That's probably one of the most violent riffs I've heard in a long time.
Paulie: Oh, my God, we were in a pool of violence! I mean, violence was pouring out of my threads! Civil War of violence, like the North and South, fighting violence!
David: Dude, Vive La Violence!
Joey: Whoa! Relax! We're killing this catch-phrase before it even catches on!
Paulie: Is it me, or is he being a little violent right now?
Dina: Guys, I have great news!
David: You brought the violence!

Michael: So this is where all the bands who can't play hang out, right?
Paulie: Shouldn't you guys be out stealing lyrics from some lame 80's band?
Michael: Uh, nice job... uh actually, we can write lyrics on the spot. Check this out.
Steel Panther: I *beep* your girlfriend, just last night. I *beep* your girlfriend, that pussy wasn't tight. I *beep* your girlfriend, and I punched her in the face. I *beep* your girlfriend, shot my load all over the place.

Neil: Keep talkin' *beep* and see what happens. Cause you wouldn't say it to my face, cause you're a BITCH! Well come down and get *beep* up then! I wish you would! Cause I'll *beep* spin kick you in your sternum. Jerk off! You know what, I got *beep* I gotta do. I gotta call you later, Mommy.