I think I get it. Ladies and gentlemen, you can hug now.

The character is indeed flawed and self absorbed. Her job, essentially, as a writer is to be absorbed in her own subjective personal observations, perspective, and opinions. One of her flaws is an inability to see it from her husbands point of view; the other is an inability to see her own flaws either because it would weigh her down too much if she doesn't have the strength to face them, or because she is simply too self-absorbed.

The movie's main center of enjoyment is not the perhaps narcisistic character, but the pull of the exotic and beautiful locations. (And also Julia Roberts) The need for the main character to surround herself by these escapist settings is to assuage her emptiness, and lack of self-understanding.

The other reason this movie may be enjoyable is because it says that a flawed woman can escape the obligations of women to be considerate and attend to others. Women are obligated to be considerate and attend to other people's needs. A woman who doesn't do that is an outlier, and therefore criticized.

So therefore, it is escapist fantasy, a female version of a guy's escapist action flick. There are double standards. People don't criticize the main character of an action flick, destroying & hurting indiscrimately and callously, for being inconsiderate of other people's needs. Again, maybe women like this movie because it's 2 hours of escape from a role that may feel stifling.

Her character should be in no way be considered a role model. Dudes relax. The character is flawed, and that's part of the story. She drops her committed husband after he tells her he wants to go to school to be a teacher (maybe it's not high status or glamorously artistic enough for her obviously "upscale" tastes). She is hurtful to guys and does have an attitude problem -- that she might not be self-aware of, just like a woman may be hurt by a man who is self-absorbed or inconsiderate to his wife and nice women in the same way.

Also, men and women should think about the double standards that go both ways. The reaction to the movie reveals that double standards do go both ways. When one thinks of a character trait or ambition to a woman or a man (poor, self-absorbed, promiscuous, self-interested, self-centered, commanding, ambitious, deferential, humble, proud, a little chubby, old, young, low-status job), how would it be applied or judged in regards to the opposite sex? But keep in mind, aside from the sexual differences, we are all human beings with much in common inside.

I'm a guy, and if a good woman is happy with this movie, I'm fine with that. But in no way would I get into an LTR with a real woman such as the main character. I'd stay away and avoid the trouble.