Can therapy really help ?

My opinion is that most people in therapy appear to get worse before they get better. That's what I see happening with Sunil.

As for Paul, he's been in therapy on and off with Gina for years and that was a huge mistake. They have too much other history for that to have been healthy. He probably needs about two years with another therapist to fix this. Jesse needs to accept himself for who he is and to stop lying. That may take two or three years in therapy along with some level of achievement to give himself a little self-esteem.



The Fabio Principle: Puffy shirts look best on men who look even better without them.

Part of Paul's problem seems to be his relationship with his mother, a situation where where he felt "Trapped."

Since his job also involves being a "Caretaker" to his patients, the same way as he was a "Caretaker" for his mother, and he still complains about feeling like he's "Trapped in a mousetrap," if Paul would stop being so resistant to Adele's attempts to help him, it probably also wouldn't take "years" for Paul to realize this?

Look at the situation with Laura. She keeps "Running Away" from having an intimate relationship with her fiance Andrew - because she also felt "Trapped" in the relationship she had with her Father - where Laura also became his "Caretaker" after the death of her mother.

So what she flees from (whenever she runs into the arms of the guy in the bathroom stall, or into the arms of Alex, or Paul), is having another intimate relationship where she's afraid she'll feel "Trapped" again?

Paul may have also been married to Kate for several years, but it also appears Paul may have spent more time in that therapy room and with his patients than he did with Kate or his kids?

Didn't Paul's choice to be with Jesse instead of with his son Max also illustrate this to us?

Paul's priority was his patient? They came first. Max came last?

In other words, perhaps Paul's just as "Trapped" by his relationships with his patients, and tending to their needs, as he was when he cared for his mother?

And if Paul is ever able to see this, and how "Paralysed" he's become (as Adele puts it), then Paul might also be able to "Free" himself from the patterns of his behavior that is making him feel just as miserable as Laura felt due to the way she behaved?

Didn't Laura also tell Paul after a year of being "In Treatment" with him that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship anymore that wasn't a meaningful one?

Didn't that also sound as if Paul had "Helped" Laura to heal (inspite of the way he also pursues her when he should not have)?

Didn't Sophie also seem to benefit from Paul's help?

Didn't Gina also seem to have been helped out of her state of depression by the process of treating Paul?



Gina to Paul: You begin by questioning your value as a therapist - you end by questioning mine.

I think the easiest situations where therapy helps are those where a person has a specific situational problem to deal with - like sudden loss, or getting out of a bad relationship, or something that has happened more recently. Long-term personality or behavioral problems have got to be harder to treat. I think if they're lucky enough to find a therapist that they click with even people with deep-rooted problems can benefit by learning coping and behavior modification skills.

As others have said, therapy is probably most helpful for those dealing with a specific situation, like a loss or sudden life changing event. I think that the client needs to know when to stop the therapy because most therapists are not going to cut off the income stream.

I was in a relationship with a clinical psychologist for a while. She spoke very candidly about psychology as a business. She admitted that she probably can't help more than half of her regulars (or "lifers" as she called them), but she was not going to discourage them from coming back. She also described couples therapy as nearly always useless.

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I've tried to talk to a therapist about my own issues . . . on two separate occasions: once in high school, and once a few years ago.

I never got past a couple of visits.

I think my issue was one of trust. It takes A LOT for me to open up about stuff that bothers me. I could only do it to someone I was close to, someone who I feel I have a bond or a strong relationship with. The distant, clinical, sterile approach does NOT work with me at all. It's a complete waste of time.

That's the question, you might as well ask, can love help, can friendship help? Maybe.
It might depend on the person and what help means.

I agree Jesse looks so scewed up. I think he has ADD or something, maybe PTSD from something in early life. He is out there and without any idea of what is going on with himself.

It can work. Or partially work, in the sense that Paul seemed to intuitive get that Adele was telling him valuable stuff, but his pride was hurt and it took him a long time, and ultimately he thinks he does not want or need it - because he gets away acting like a kid, like Jesse. I think it was no coincidence that Jesse's outburst is followed by Paul's outburst in Adele's office to show they are both the same - ie. human beings.

But Paul does get it, he just has a lot to get and integrate, and he is used to his defense mechanisms and being spoiled or passive aggressive.

It's a really fascinating show.

But if you do not try to figure it out and see what's going on with yourself, then you have little chance of overcoming destructive behaviors.

It is perverse that we are created to be able to see other people better than we can see ourselves. They've done studies where they asked people and then their friends to predict that person's bahavior. A person's friends usually know the person and can predict their behavior better than the person themselves … so therapy has a basis … now will that work, is it enough … not necessarily.

It can help. But studies seem to show that it isn't really much better than having one or more friends to talk to about problems.

It is better to be kind than to be clever or good looking. -- Derek