500 Things I Learned from Priest
1) To go against the Church is to go against God.
2) The bullets are for you.
Best YouTube Channel EVAR!:
http://www.youtube.com/user/LegendaryBadass
3) You can jump higher using stones thrown by other people as support
4) A bike can outspeed the train by so much that it takes a long time for the train to catch up
5) In Priest universe, people who jump off trains, bikes or other speeding objects are apparently immune to the laws of physics.
6) You only need hide your daughter from vampires. Your wife is expendable.
No, No! I'm not a vampire.
I'm a driving instructor from Johannesburg!
7. Knife wounds to the shoulder can be easily shrugged off.
8. High Priests refute the existence of vengeance-filled vampres for, well, no apparent reason.
9. The Matrix came out over ten years ago, and yet, fight scenes are copied as if it were only yesterday.
10. Weak, abdandoned vampires are not really that much different from selected vampires.
11. Blade Runner chic still dominates the vision of future city design.
12. Judging by Maggie Q's age, the Great War must have finished, like yesterday. Hardly the stuff of 'history'.
Nobody listens to Techno.
13. Nobody is allowed to talk to priest.
14. The Priests daughter can visit the city by foot and come back in some hours. Paul Bettany needed four days for that with his motorcycle.
15. Karl Urban is actually badass !!!
[deleted]
17. Lowered expectations are good.
share18) Vaughn Fry did not work on Priest. Idiot.
Best YouTube Channel EVAR!:
http://www.youtube.com/user/LegendaryBadass
19) Your fiendish plans should always include kidnapping someone that will bring your Nemesis looking for you.
20) 3D does not make a bad movie even marginally better.
21) When you are wanted by the authorities, leave the city very ostentatiously by the main gate, no one will notice.
22) Bill from "True Blood" is a wuzzy.
The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
23) You can go from bright skies to total darkness in less than 3.24 seconds. No bounce light. Nothing. The sun doesn't set, it disappears.
share24- The only real trick to killing vampires is figuring out what A to B means.
25- Genetics in the future lead to family members that look nothing alike.
26- It's cool to take vampire actors from other shows/movies and make them human in another vampire movie.
27- Vampire poo solidifies to make mountains.
The trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
28- Humanity totally forgot the mountain where the vampires live and just let them breed like cockroaches. You would expect them to open a hole into that mountain so they could get obliterated by the sun but noooooooo......!
29- If you fall out a moving train that's speeding around 120 mph, get up and dust yourself off.
30- Super soldiers of the future don't wear any type of armor and don't carry guns. Pure martial arts baby!
31- Human Vampires love cowboy hats.
32- If you see a movie that introduces the story via animation, chances are that the movie will be alright.
33 - 3 Priests can wipe out an entire group of vampires but cannot take down one Karl Urban.
No, No! I'm not a vampire.
I'm a driving instructor from Johannesburg!
34- Face tattoos can cause problems with future employment.
35- Paul Bettany/Priest attracts smokin' hot ladies (Jennifer Connelly/ Priestess (Maggie Q) and Lucy's mother)
36- Apparently walking around in a vampire hive is not as insane an idea as it would seem. Or maybe it is.
It'll come to ya.
37. Jim Robinson is a God.
38. It is nice to see a young man perfectly willing to look past his girl's minion-image and continue as things were if she was transformed rather than see her mercifully killed.
39. Vampire hives have a tailoring section that does a nice line in the 'Iconic Cowboy Look' for any unique human vampire who might come along.
Nobody listens to Techno.
40. Turbo-charged bikes can be easily manufactured in future dystopic cities, but the secret of soap (by the look of that congregation at the end) has been long forgotten.
share41. Having a cross tattooed on your face will give you super powers.
42. Vampires don't have eyes.
43. Brad Dourif is creepy in every role he has ever played.
44. If you sell stuff to kill vampires, they will eat you.
"The natural state of mankind is war." - Nietzsche
45. You have the technology to develop electronic confessionals, but you still listen to music on a wind-up Victrola.
46. Even though you have super-fast motorcycles with computerized controls, you still use steam locomotives.
47. You can build signs that beam inspirational messages all over the city, but you can't paint a hallway or wash your clothes.
47. City people dress like extras in a 1930 Soviet movie; country people dress like extras in a Hollywood Western.
48. A knife to the shoulder can hold up a full grown man to a wall
49. People dont care that their main protection(the sun) is blotted out from their city while there are still vampires locked in prisons
50. Vampires are kept alive and in prisons, even though they are the sworn enemy of mankind and are no longer hunted down and exterminated, because the war is over?
If time is not true, what purpose have watchmakers?
51. words of the priest have no use towards the vampires
52. all he need is 10 seconds
53. tattoos on the forehead gives them superhuman abilities
54. never trust a priest who swore celibacy after almost being married
55. the queen is not yet dead
56. to go against the church, is really not going against God
57. confessions can be hi-tech; while soap, hygiene and bath are so old-fashion
58. the priest, priestess and sheriff can survive in the desert for days without eating
59. the Vietnamese priestess is hot
60. how to shoot vampires from point A to point B
"The path to true love isn't always straight."
61. Priests don't use firearms.
share62. just because your good with a knife doesnt mean your good with a gun
63. always start at the back of the train...course thats where they'd keep someone locked up...NOT
64. if your good with a knife and so-so with a gun you can tag along and just not really do anything useful
65. Closing your eyes and clasping your hands in prayer just seconds before the enemy attacks will grant you superhuman powers.
66. It is a good idea to drive a motorcycle rigged with explosives toward the train your friends are on even without knowing whether they've gotten off.
67. You can dismember a human body in the air with an elastic wire and the ensuing pieces falling from the sky will resemble delicious cuts of pork.
68. When you open the Bible, it will read Psalm 23:4 and there are shurikens hiding inside.
69. When destroying a town and there happens to be classical music playing in the background, wave your arms about as if conducting an orchestra.
[deleted]