I will start by saying that you've been very careful to explain things without saying you necessarily agree with them (which is how a lot of civil discourse goes %^}). So forgive me if I sound like I'm attributing things to you that aren't what you feel; I'm mainly addressing the points in your posting.
I agree with you in that I see a black-white / good-bad demarcation quite a bit on these boards. I would also say that most of the people around me in real life are a little better at handling nuance - even though they're mostly Americans, lol. (And I'd say "a number of" rather than "most" viewers in your first sentence - the movie *is* running a 7.7 rating here, as of today, so "most people" did like it.)
I don't know if you've seen The Lives of Others, about state espionage in East Germany in the 1970s/80s. It's not a perfect comparison, but the "bad" guy very much has shades of gray. It's that type of ambiguity that Lee was bringing to this film, and there are a lot of films that take a similar look at such situations.
There's nothing wrong with a good guy character who sacrifices him/herself for the great good. There are plenty of movies that portray that kind of character very well. But this wasn't that kind of movie. It's not about patriotism - although patriotism is an element of the plot.
There's a saying, which I'm sure you've heard, that "war is hell." That I think is much more what's happening, on a very local and personal level, rather than "let's all band together to save the country." Not everybody has it in them to be a hero.
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It's usually pretty easy to understand the overall motivations for a given war, and pick a "good" side and "bad" side. The individual stories of war, however, aren't always so clear cut. There will always be people on the "good" side that commit atrocities, and people on the "bad" side who aren't unmitigated evil. On top of that, some situations (*some*) are more gray than anything else. Seeing and accepting that, I think, takes a certain amount of discernment - and having your head in a particular place - that not everyone will have.
We know something about Wang's background. Personally, I think she just wasn't cut out to be a spy, period. It was the resistance's mistake (and frankly, ineptitude) in thinking she could be because she was a good actress. The fog of war, yes - but they all ended up paying for it in the end.
We know next to nothing about Mr. Yee and why he decided to become a collaborator. Did he just want to make a quick buck? Did the occupation government have something over him? Did he just decide he was going to survive, no matter what it took? It's not spelled out (nor should it be).
But neither of them planned to become attracted to each other - it was something that happened despite their intentions and their common sense and something they couldn't control - like a crime of passion. So when push came to shove, because she wasn't the right "tool," she couldn't kill him (I'm thinking of the bedroom scene, but that's what happens in the jewelry store as well. In fact, she's also the only one who doesn't get actively involved when the students kill the cousin (?) in that spectacularly messy fashion). But he couldn't kill her, either - he didn't save the students but he didn't blow the whistle on them. If he hadn't been "distracted," meaning there had been no attraction, he probably would have realized what was going on and acted on it. (He'd already done it twice before.) Maybe he did know something was off and ignored it.
In fact, there's a hint that *he's* now under suspicion. There's nothing he could have done to save her or them, and any move to do that would have just gotten himself killed as well. My take is that he was determined to survive, so wouldn't have sacrificed himself; but that he still very much regretted that things turned out that way. That's why he's in her room at the end of the film.
But... I do think there's regret on his part, and some hope / expectation that the Japanese will be eventually defeated (see the brothel scene). So while he didn't suddenly switch sides and take up arms against the Japanese, his attitude towards the whole situation is different, which is probably more realistic.
The upshot: he didn't become a good guy, he may not change his behavior, but that doesn't mean he didn't change. Maybe that's all we can hope for from the situation.
I also think a huge part of this movie is the utter naivete of the students. Meaning well doesn't mean you have a clue of what you're doing.
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