Have you ever killed a man before? I hope not. Neither have I, but I imagine that it would take more than a quick stab/slash with a short knife, as how most hollywood movies would portray a killing. In the movie, it was the moment when the group of students finally realized that it's no longer a school play anymore. It was bloody, messy, and real. A powerful climax to wrap up the first half of the film.
As for the OP, I tend to think that the explicit sex scenes which you claim to be accustomed to are exactly why you've been distracted from the heart of the movie. Not that I blame you, for some western friends of mine hold similar opinions towards the film.
This film excels in showing the subtle struggles of love, lust and fear inside the main characters' hearts, set against an extraordinary historical background. Think Brokeback Mountain with espionage. With Ang Lee, there's always more than meets the eye, always a subtext to explore. The opening scene of mahjong game alone could be the material for a whole semester of film studies. It pains me that the average westerner would possibly never fully appreciate how much Lee and the actors have accomplished with this masterpiece, for it's such an exquisite study of humanity.
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