Why Lars went nuts in the first place... - Lars and the Real Girl (2007) Discussion

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Rissa1980 16 years ago

I think your thoughts on Lars' total abandonment are right on the nose. The "resolution" actually comes from his realization that he was totally accepted by those around him. Bianca was a surrogate tool though which he could have relationships with the people around him in the town. When he and his sister-in-law have that big discussion about everyone bending over backward to take care of Bianca, it starts to dawn on him that he may have an impact on others and that others truly did care about him.
Before Bianca, he was unable to make that human connection. He was socially inept and had no clue how to conduct intercourse with other people, particularly with women in his age range. If you notice, he has an issue speaking to his female colleagues and his sister-in-law, but he has no problem talking to the older "church lady".
Bianca's death is widely misunderstood. I think she had to dies because it needed to be final. It signifies a step toward healing. The end of the movie is not a rosey "look he's cured", I think it was more a beginning to his growth as a person. This is just like how people resolve traumatizing events in real life. There's not always going to be "closure". In fact he can't get it, both of his parents have passed and his brother has apologized as much as he can (not exactly the touchy feely type) Lars is scared that his sister in law may die in child birth, but more importantly, at the end of the movie you are supposed to understand that he can talk to her about that now rather than internalizing it. I think Lars was also worried that he won't have be able to have a relationship with the coming child; at the end of the movie you get the impression that he will.

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[–] boisenewbie 15 years ago

If they wrapped it up neatly with a little bow then it wouldn't have the same impact. (and people would be complaining it wasn't realistic)

Bianca's "death" was just the first step ... taking a walk with Margo was another.

I think it is implied that he is not cured - He stills believes Bianca was real!

These things take time - he is a work in progress

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[–] jameshubbell-1 16 years ago

Eh, I thinks it's more complex than just his mothing dying in childbirth.

It's mentioned a few times that Gus' and Lars's father was "depressed" from the time his wife died right up until his own death. And remember the part where Gus talks about having left home as soon as he could? Lars wasn't just abandoned by his mother, but also emotionally by his father. Plus, his only sibling took a powder from the house when Lars was extremely young. Lars pretty much had no one - and for a sensitive and shy soul like his, these events proved to be crippling. Most reviews talk about Lars loneliness - and it is that, of course, but I believe he showed signs of traumatization.

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] roamingbrit 15 years ago

Good summary that, er...sums it up well.

Child birth and being left with no one to turn to emotionally leave him insecure and Bianca is his way of dealing with that problem.

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[–] filmfancy 15 years ago

First of all, I object to labeling Lars as "nuts"; he was suffering from a form of mental illness or from being traumatized as a child. Calling someone 'nuts' or 'crazy' is insensitive and cruel.

It almost seemed as though Lars had Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism, at times. I kept thinking this whenever he couldn't stand to be touched, as well as his extreme discomfort with social contact.

Whether it was trauma or Asperger's, this was dealt with very sensitively. Ryan Gosling was wonderful, as was Patricia Clarkson.

I don't usually care for films containing 'magic realism,' but this was unique and nicely done.

"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

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[–] RoadSideAssistance 12 years ago

The touching imo was likely a result of his upbringing. If his Dad just shut him down and denied all physical contact and his brother just bailed... any physical contact might be EXTREMELY awkward.

I know an individual who's Dad while loving and not depressed by any means rarely hugged... was more a handshake thing. His Mom was definitely about hugging but his Dad was not very compassionate at all. Needless to say my family is hugs all around so eventually after I had been around him a couple times and gave him a hug it was definitely awkward on his end, I could tell.

Today it still is.... but better. Now imagine if he didn't have a Mom and his Dad was WAY worse like Lars' Dad was portrayed?

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[–] Kuato_and_George 15 years ago

I don't think the pregnancy was the complete story here. I don't think that one even drove him completely insane. I think it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

1. I do think he felt guilt over his mom. So yeah, his pregnant sister in law reminded him of that.

2. His dad (from what we were told) was kind of an a-hole to him. So not being treated very nicely and having your brother abandon you will make someone a little gun shy/socially challenged.

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] Kuato_and_George 15 years ago

I thought I did? I agree the pregnancy was the tipping point, but I don't agree it was the sole reason for his breakdown.

I think his brother running out on him and his father essentially ignoring him is what caused a healthy chunk of his social issues. But the sister-in-law getting pregnant is what pushed him over the edge. It reminded him of his own mother dying, which is what caused

1. his father to ignore him
2. his brother to run out on him

It was all connected. See what I'm saying?

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[–] Kathing 15 years ago

I agree with all of these points- the trigger of Karin's preganancy, compounded with his feelings of guilt and abandonment. I believe another factor tied into being raised by his father and brother was the lack of human contact- causing his "burning sensation" when touched. Being raised without the nurturing contact of his mother, which it seems like his father and brother were both incapable of, triggered this. Beginning with Bianca and slowly translating to others, that touch, that human contact was almost an allegory for opening himself up to others.

Bianca was a resolution for him in multiple ways. Yes, she allowed him to have relationships with the townspeople. I think deep down he knew that she was not real, and that everything they were doing was for him, but needed Karin to point it out to him. His upset at Bianca being busy and not having time for him was interesting as well. My take on that was that it was helpful in resolving his feelings of abandonment. He completely freaked out because of his irrational fear of her not returning, but was able to recognize that not only would she return, but there were others there for him in the meantime.

For the movie to show all of his process, it would have to include many more years, what we were given a glimpse into was just the first step.

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[–] russ-clark 15 years ago

I just got done watching this film, which an amazing piece of work. And I agree with everything that has been said so far. However, I'd like to throw something new out there. Part of me thinks that Lars saw the opportunity to buy "everlasting love" and jumped on it. He has seen what the lose of love will do to someone (his father) and he doesn't want that to happen to him. One little line leads me to believe this. It happens after Bianca's first church service, when she is given flowers. Lars says something like: "Those are nice, huh? They're not real, so they last forever. Isn't that neat?

He was being selfish. He wanted love but none of the hurt and pain that also goes with it. It was all planned out, Bianca would never die, never leave him, and always be where he wanted her to be. Which is why I think he gets so upset when Bianca is always away with the other townsfolk. Despite his brothers lack of emotion, I think his talk with Lars is a real turning point. When he explains what it means to be a man. Lars sees what he must do. Bianca is a burden for everyone so Lars does what's best for the town, even though it hurts.

I also think he sees that actual human love is well worth all the pain and suffering, the good times more than outweigh the bad. He realizes this while bowling with Margo. I think he finally sees what he's been missing. Which is why he must kill off Bianca and start a real relationship. Notice that he can't even leave the cemetery before he starts in with Margo.

Again, I just finished watching this like 15 minutes ago. But those are my initial thoughts, I'll have to watch it again.

Love in Christ,
russ-clark

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[–] HeroinNan79 15 years ago

I agree with some of the thoughts.

you do see his "growth" when the community asks Bianca to become a part of the society. I enjoyed the scene where the older parishoner speaks to Lars about his behavior towards Bianca. I loved the way she spoke to him and I got it. He had no "friends" to correct his behavior or to look at things from a different perspective. He needed Bianca to help him connect with other people.

I felt bad for his brother because he needed it just as much as Lars. You can tell when Karin reads a book and he sits there and nervously tell her why he feels guilty. He has to come with grips that he needs to step in and talk with his brother. Their father is not there and now he has the opportunity to begin a relationship with Lars. It is the thing that makes their family grow together. I agree with your point about the discussion of what it means to be a man talk with Lars.

If you think about it, Bianca dying is the only thing he knows about relationships and the turn that it takes. He only knows that people fall in love and it is over when the other dies. I assume that for him to begin a new life means that he has to say goodbye to Bianca and the only way to do that is for her to pass away. Life begins when another dies.

Did you notice that when Lars was uncomfortable, he blinked his eyes really hard and when he felt safe he didnt? I noticed that.

DjNanci70

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] Keeve 15 years ago

I have a different interpretation. Lars didn't "go nuts" when Bianca showed up, Lars was already nuts and Bianca represented his own form of self therapy. Yes it's obvious that his guilt or fear regarding childbirth were an issue for him, but his biggest issue was his inability to relate to other people, even his own family.

There was something else new in Lars' life besides a pregnant sister-in-law. At the very beginning Margo was introduced as the new girl in the office, and it was obvious that Lars was interested in her, but because of his debilitating shyness, he invented a surrogate relationship with Bianca.

Having Bianca stay with his brother might seem to indicate a sense of moral decency but it also forced Lars to begin to interact with his brother's family. He couldn't even share a meal with them before, but after Bianca showed up, he was able to dine with them regularly. Bianca also helped Lars slowly develop a relationship with others, including his coworkers (as the party indicates).

After the bowling "date" with Margo, it became obvious that Lars was ready to move from a surrogate relationship to real relationships, and it's at this point that Bianca starts to die, because Lars doesn't need her anymore.

Bianca wasn't a symptom of Lars' problems, Bianca was the cure for them.

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] wmoores 15 years ago

Yours is the most succinct analysis of this movie in these posts. I believe you are right, and I agree with you.

It is amazing to me how everybody in town went along with the doll Bianca, even to the church and its clergy. Were they all aware of the events surrounding Lars' birth?

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[–] dsrtrosy-1 15 years ago

wmoores, in a town like that they would be--he grew up in the house where his brother and sister-in-law now live and probably went to that church with his dad. He would probably be on a nodding acquaintance, at the very least, with every single person in town.

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[–] boisenewbie 15 years ago

Bingo!

You got it right!!

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[–] bradme 13 years ago

The abandonment issues are a definite cause of his delusion, but my friends and I all agreed he definitely has some form of Autism, which fuels the delusion. I think that if the autism were absent he'd still have abandonment issues, but would probably be more depressed than delusional. There's also the fact that he has major issues with being touched, which implies that he probably wasn't held as a child often.

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