Reasons why Trek 2009 was stupid and poor Pt. 1
Like a phoenix, this post has risen from the ashes. Due to the limitations of the post length, I have to cut the posts into smaller pieces. Unfortunately, the eye roll emoji does not work here so please use your imagination whenever you see [eye2].
1. Kelvin should've been destroyed.
The Narada appears from the singularity. It immediately opens fire on the Kelvin. Who knows how many photons were fired, but definitely a lot. The Narada is from the future, thus futuristic high-tech weapons. How advanced? A century's worth at least. Hmm...since WWII to the 80's, the superpower countries were able to develop smart weapons and ICBM's. That's less than a half a century. Now add another 50 years to that tech and what would you have? So, the future tech photons are unable to destroy an old research vessel. Now let’s add a quote from the movie, "I have a reading, they've locked weapons on us.” What does that mean? It means coming out of the singularity didn’t disable their targeting systems. If let’s say twenty tomahawk missiles were fired at a WWII battleship and scored no direct hits, but a few near misses, the battleship would be under the sea. Now put that into this movie. 50+ more years in tech. Targeting systems intact. What was the result? But of course this HAS TO HAPPEN because if it didn’t, we’d have an end of story moment within the first 10 minutes. And yet later in the movie, the Narada destroys an entire Armada of Klingon ships. Poor & Stupid.
2. The life pods should’ve been destroyed.
So the Kelvin survives long enough for the life pods to jettison and have daddy Kirk sacrifice himself heroically. Yay! He rams the ship into the Narada, which is like 10 times the size of the Kelvin, maybe more. So, if this causes main power to go offline in the Narada, then where’s the auxiliary power? Based off of Trek II, aux power is enough to get off a few phaser blasts, right? Every spaceship should have auxiliary power for emergency life support. That’s basic common sense and based on previous Trek, proven. So where is it? If Nero fires on the Kelvin at first sight, it would only make sense that he’d finish the job, right? And of course we learn later in the movie that he’s on some hell bent mission to destroy the entire Federation. So not only would it make sense, this course of action would fit the character. One photon detonated in the same proximity would wipe out all of the life pods. Then again, this would be an end of story moment within the first 10 minutes and daddy Kirk wouldn’t have been a hero. So if this is the premise of the movie, the “writers” either didn’t notice how implausible this was and how out of character they created their antagonist, or they didn’t think anybody would’ve noticed, or they didn’t care. Better yet, it probably was a combination of all of it. [eyes2]
3. Kirk’s a douche.
A previous poster told me he likes “douchey” characters. To everyone, their own. Of all the people I have ever met, rich or poor, famous or not, nobody has ever stated their middle name when introducing themselves to me. How pretentious of an introduction is this of Kirk? This is the guy we, the audience, are supposed to feel sympathetic towards? This is our protagonist?
The Shat as Kirk never said his middle name. Never. And this is the first words out of the new Kirk?
Oh, but this is an alternate Kirk. He had no daddy growing up.
Being rebellious is one thing. Being a pretentious douche is another. One has nothing to do with the other.
Fast forward to the Kobayashi Maru test. Even though this is an alternate Kirk and he enlists in Starfleet a completely different way and probably a different time in his life, he manages to re-count the exact same steps of his previous version’s timeline Kirk. What are the chances?! Now we know how many times he took it and what he did. The failure is they really could’ve used this to develop Kirk’s character. What would’ve this accomplish? Three things. Tie into the history of Trek, develop his character, and advance the story. If they would’ve shown Kirk in command of the simulation and complete the rescue mission, it would’ve been much more dramatic and exciting. Instead, we just get douchey Kirk eating an apple. We don’t get flashes of brilliance of his command prowess. We get absolutely nothing instead.
We know from Trek II that Kirk received a commendation for original thinking for reprogramming the simulation making it possible to rescue the Kobayashi Maru. And this is how he got it??? By reprogramming the sim where Kirk does nothing???
Oh, but I like the homage from Trek II when Kirk was eating an apple when telling the story and him doing it on the simulation.
Whoop dee do! [eyes2] Stupid and pointless fan service.
TBC...