No matter how much money you can make and send back to your child, it can not compare to being with your child. 4 years is a long time to be away from your child, no matter who you left behind to raise them.
If this actually happens in real life (and I would assume it does) these parents have lost sight of what's best for their family.
it's a sacrifice they make. Personally having lived through it, no one can really stand to watch their family suffer from poverty and hunger. It's a very grey area.
shareYes you're right, true poverty, and of course starvation, would be a different story. However, in this movie, he had a house and food. Maybe not what some would consider the good life (although I have known many who WOULD consider it that), but definitely not worth a mother leaving him for 4 years.
shareHe only had food and a house because his mother sent money. Before she left, it could have been aweful. Remember Carlitos' friend who had to sell gum and had worn shoes?
shareI know it's not ideal or even beneficial, but throughout the world, many kids have to work. I am not saying I think this is good at all, but given the choice of having a mother with a child who works, or having a mother away from a child for 4 years, the former is always the best decision, as long as basic needs are met. Also, if the mother was really wanting nothing more than the best for her son, she wouldn't have hesitated to marry the man with the US citizenship.
shareThis true, I see your point. I don't think, however, that Rosario planned to stay in the US for that long. I do believe many illegals are uneducated as to what exactly can and will happen once they cross the border. They do not have internet to surf around on and check out all the d's. It is all word of mouth, usually coming from other uneducated peers.
Other than not anticipating such a long stay in the US before she could get her case with the lawyer, I don't think Rosario felt she was leaving Carlitos without love and nuture. She left him with a mother figure in her own mother, his grandmother. As you could tell from his birthday party, he had many friends and loved ones. He was provided for financially...BUT you do see that she realizes that although she has hung on to her ultimate goal of green card/citizenship....she is ready to throw in the towel and be with Carlitos back in Mexico. She feels she has failed her goal and time has slipped away trying to get toward it. This is extrememly rare and most immigrants do not return home. They marry and make a new life with new children. In my professions, I know many personally who financially provide for those at home, but create a new life here. I do not agree with that.
I think Rosario represents the exception to the rule.
I am very sorry you had to live through such circumstances, though. I didn't mean to sound harsh toward you.
shareJust wanted to add my two cents.
Like someone else said, as a parent it is a very gray area. I'd bet a more than a few parents out there would prefer crossing the border than have their children living in extreme poverty, having to work selling gum in the street, suffering from malnutrition or in the worst case starvation. Is it *really* a 100% obvious decision to decide to live this way, to stay together, when there is another option of going away, hopefully accumulate a decent savings account, and then (maybe) come back after a few years?
Now let's see Rosario's case specifically. Clearly, it was always her intention to send for Carlitos, and the reason she didn't take him along when she crossed is because he was only five at the time. At the beginning of the movie, we see the struggle that Rosario went through to cross the border. I personally have a close family friend that crossed the border illegally and nearly died in the process. It is extremely difficult even for a grown adult, a child can easily die in the process. I think Rosario meant to arrive in the US, then get her citizenship and then send for Carlitos, in a much more safe (and of course legal) way. At one point she mentions that she even went to a lawyer who would help her case in the past, but he didn't help and she only lost money in the process. Rosario never abandoned her child, like someone else said, she left him in good hands, and it was only meant to be a temporary thing, she probably thought it would take her 1 year or 2 *at the most* to have Carlitos with her.
In my very personal opinion, I think it's a million time better to make that sacrifice, spend a year or so away from your child while you get everything ready to send for him, than staying in inhumane conditions. In Rosario's case, this turned out to be 4 years, but I can guess she wasn't planning on that.
I just think there are more things to consider here other than "It's best to stay together."
I think it is easy to say that "love is all you need" when you are sitting in a position with food, shelter, and security. It is a lovely and romantic notion, but I think the reality may be a touch harsher than people would like to stomach.