100 things we learned from Hostel part 2
A new thread is desperately needed for this part!
Let me start off with:
1. In Vienna (Austria) people speak Dutch...or at least something that is supposed to sound like Dutch.
(As it turns out in part 2 the 'Dutch' killer from Hostel part 1 apparently got out of the train at a trainstation in Vienna...where he started speaking Dutch to random passengers around him asking if they had seen his daughter!)
2. When getting out of a train in Vienna being wounded, it is very likely you'll suddenly wake up the next day or so in a hospital in Italy.
3. Never trust the gardener using a chainsaw for your trees. He could be out to beheading your boyfriend with that said chainsaw.
4. Never take back your ex-boyfriend when he comes back from a trip to Europe (where he f*ks his brains out with whomever he could find) when he only has a few fingers left on his hand, just because "you feel bad for him". It is very likely he turns up beheaded in your grandma's kitchen. Makes such a mess and all...
5. European overnight trains are used as alternatives for nightclubs.
6. American girls like to score drugs and booze in European trains, don't matter what kind of drugs.
7. You can easily score whatever kind of drugs in a European overnight train.
8. NEVER trust pretty Slovakian girls that look like models!
9. NEVER trust (creepy looking) Slovakian guys either!
10. NEVER go on a boat trip with a creepy looking Slovakian guy!
11. In Slovakia "hot springs" actually means "mass killing spree"
12. Once a creepy a*hole always a creepy a*hole (Todd/Karl Mayer and Stuart/George Williams from Desperate Housewives)
13. Never ask a Slovakian streetkid if they want to have a Smint! In Slovakian that is a very bad curse word!
14. Never turn down a Slovakian guy who wants to dance with you simply because "you are not drunk enough" to deal with his huge rabbit teeth!
15. Countess Dracula (or should I say Elizabeth Báthory?) is still very much alive! As it turns out, she's not Hungarian though, she's Slovakian!
16. You can easily store cut off heads in a walk-in-closet. They'll never decay!
17. There is no law in Slovakia.
18. Slovakians get to kill for free, Americans can only do so when they pay a lot of money.
19. When you've killed someone, they'll finally start taking you seriously! What more reason do you need to kill someone??
20. You better pay attention when using a table saw!
21. If you've paid lots of money to kill someone, you'd better damn well finish the job!
22. American men who get bossed around by their wives turn into crazy ass killers!
23. American girls, once they have been threatened to be killed, turn into crazy ass killers themselves!
24. You better not go to Slovakia to kill some rich American girl who actually has more money than you do. Slovakians will do anything for money!
25. You better not call a girl a "stupid f*king c*t" when she has a pincer held around your dick..
26. "Na zdravie" actually means "off with your head!"