I can't remember what exactly happens with Stuart at the moment, but the movie is on and I am watching it so I will give you my insight as soon as I finish that scene. I can give you my insight with Todd, however, since his scene was much shorter. Remember, this is just my opinion.
For Todd, he was what he believed to be the quintessential "badass"--he even makes the statement of "badass" to the tattoo artist after he receives the bloodhound mark. Let me explain, though, what I mean by that: Todd appears, to an outsider, to be the rough and tough dude by looks alone: muscles and all that jazz. Todd believes he is a badass because of this, and he believes that by killing this girl, his badass status will not only be known/seen, but felt by everyone. After all, he has the talk with Stuart about the first guy to get laid in school, if he remembered, and how the guy didn't have to say anything, people just KNEW he had done it.
I think, for Todd, he believes that if he goes through with this, people will just know he's this badass *beep* and not to mess with him. It's not that he has a heart. It's that Todd isn't the badass he believes himself to be. He's too much of a coward to actually go through with it and kill this girl he doesn't know. The rage he believes he has towards the typical "blond whore" isn't enough to fully go through with the plan. He is also all talk and no walk; even though he tells Stuart he's tired of talking about it and just wants to do it, in the end all he is is talk talk talk. That's all he has going for him.
And my Stuart commentary will come as I watch it.
ETA: Stuart commentary time.
So, I believe Stuart's 180 at the pivotal moment during the talk with Beth about how he is "not that guy" happens because of who he is beforehand, the compassionate and caring guy. For all of his life, at least during his marriage from what I gathered watching the movie, he has been emasculated--it's been heavily hinted at that his wife wears the "pants" in the relationship, and no doubt rules his life with an iron fist and removes all power from him as the male figure. He even states to Beth, in the roleplay, that she humiliates him, calls him *beep* and won't even have sex with him. He is not that guy--not a guy at all--in the terms of a guy who takes action and actually does something with his life, especially if he cannot be the man of the house and has little power over what goes on in his life.
The talk with Beth, in turn, flips a switch in him and makes him realize that he WANTS to be that guy--he wants to be the type of guy that Todd is, the one where people just KNOW not to *beep* with him, even if he cannot physically portray that to someone. So, in order to be that guy, he would have to go through with actually killing Beth, and of course there's the added bonus that Beth is nearly a dead-ringer for his wife and killing his own wife would be illegal, so Beth is the substitute-wife he can torture, remove power from, and in turn gain his own masculinity back because of it.
To top it all off, it's because of Beth's friend that his own friend is dead, he's pissed, and so that just solidifies the change in him about wanting to kill Beth.
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