Doomed

I've realised recently that I'm basically doomed to watch all of seagal's movies. no matter how bad they are, I'll always be fascinated with seeing just how much he and the distributors can insult the audience and still get films made. look at attack force. the dvd cover. they've pretended seagal still only has one chin and that his hair still looks okay. lies from the start...

look at the opening car/truck chase thing. was it even a chase? who was he chasing or was he being chased? note how he says no dialogue onscreen with his voice being looped by an actor that sounds nothing like him filling in random words in the moments when we see his truck thing driving along. note how there is no continuity as the shot before he steps out of the truck he is wearing a brown coat and in the next shot as he steps out no coat (teleporting coats must be all the rage in the world of seagal). fairly sure his driving shots were taken from another film but this is just an educated guess.

look at how the blatant redubbing of the film to avoid all the alien references and replace them with the drug using references is just so painfully obvious, and how most of the time seagal enters a scene, says nothing, points at soemthing offscreen and then leaves.

take note of the unbelievably dreary and poorly executed action and... you know what? fuhgeddabout it, I'm actually depressed. a few of his recent films have been "so bad they're good" but this simply does not qualify.

he just doesn't care. i'd love to see a decent seagal movie again (wouldn't we all?) but the reality of my predicament is really just setting in. i'm doomed to see flight of fury, prince of pistols and whatever other gubbins he churns out and the distributors slap a model on the cover with a cut and paste of his face from 10 years ago.


i'm totally and utterly doomed.




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