ignorant.

One thing I've learned form diversity training in college is to speak from the first person so I will try to do that. Since I used to have anorexia, still think I look at food slightly differently than most people, and am studying nutrition in school, I hope I'm qualified.

I think something that might help you understand eating disorders better is the fact that when I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who looked much larger than I actually was. I could look at another person and my brain literally processed that person to be smaller than me even if she wasn't.

I agree that "the media" and "men" are cliche rationalizations/causes for anorexia. I've found that most men are quite fond of the fat deposits that make women shaped like we are; you don't seem to want skin and bones. The problem with the media/men combination is that fat people are much more abundant than extremely skinny women so if a man were going to comment on the weight/appearance of every woman he saw, his response would more frequently be that she needed to lose weight than she needed to gain it. Hollywood won't cast someone who's so thin she looks like she's about to fall over so women don't really get the chance to hear men say "man, she needs to gain a few pounds". So it's not men's fault that they're portrayed as facilitators of anorexia.

If I were to alter the argument of the media so that you might go along with it more, I'd change it to say "culture". In the American culture of excess, the norm is to be overweight. In places where being malnourished and underweight are the norm, anorexia is unheard of. To sum those 2 up, the problem is that the perceived ideal is closer to the bottom of the range of weights seen on a daily basis so getting farther away from the upper end is emphasized much more than staying away from the lower end, even if they're equally important.

Now I would like to offer an insight into anorexia that you might not have considered, given you lack of personal experience with it. My ultimate rationalization for losing weight (when I was 5'5" and 105 lbs) was that it would make me better at running. I could look at the best runners in the world and they were emaciated looking, but all I could see was "fast" written all over them. I was even so far removed from reality as to look up to a bulimic teammate (who was later treated at Renfrew) for being so strong and able to stay so skinny.

Another huge factor for me and many other girls is their parents. Parents don't want their children to be overweight and they take preventative measures of warning against overeating and junk food so that skinny children will stay at a normal weight. But just like the idea with men, it's taken too far and "fat is bad" is turned into "as skinny as possible is best."

The last thing I want to discuss is your impatience with people who are irrational. Eating disorders are mental diseases. I didn't *want* to lose weight, I literally felt that I *had* to. It started with thinking that every single person in my life that I cared about would be let down if I didn't lose weight. And when it got more serious and my closer friends tried to say something, it had just become a part of my life. I knew to be ashamed of it, I knew it was unhealthy, I knew it was socially unacceptable, but it was a part of me. It was like hiding a 6th finger.

So before you are tempted to say that someone who had an eating disorder brought it upon herself for shallow reasons, please know that it is as serious as having any other psychiatric problem. It IS irrational and many eating disorder patients can even tell you that, but it's something that you can't get rid of by being forced to gain weight. Despite the fact that I've never had a shot that *really* hurt, I seize when I get them because I'm severely afraid of them. But that's seen as something I can't control and no one faults me for it. Why then can people not see that a phobia of gaining weight should be seen the same way?

I hope this helped and I sincerely hope I didn't ever sound like I was attacking you because I only want to help you understand and I do not fault you for your opinions.

Considering that I'm a pretty open-minded person, I can easily see both sides of the argument in this post.

I agree with the original poster in the light that, people should be more informed on eating disorders before giving advice on how to rid oneself of anorexia or bulimia. Simply telling an ED patient to "eat more" is not going to solve anything. The problem is anorexics and bulimics already have an irrational fear of body fat/ gaining weight. Not only do the underlying issues need to be corrected, but ED disorder patients need to be informed how to restore their weight in a HEALTHY way with proper diet and activity. The problem with alot of eating disorder facilities, is that they tend to overfeed their patients and prohibit physical activity for an extended period of time. Alot of anorexics/bulimics think of "eating more" as "Oh no! This means I need to stuff myself with cake and icecream!". No they need to be taught to increase caloric intake with healthy, clean foods. Also, to restore their lost muscle mass with anaerobic exercise.

Simpathy aside, I do admire F6Pilot's logical way of thinking. Its easy to try to convince an eating disorder patient that eating is a basic requirement of life, however difficult it is for the ED patient to hear. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was 16, partly because I decided to improve my eating habits in order to lose "a few pounds" and, then it got out of control. I also had a lot of physical and psychological symptoms common of anorexia, which is what led to the diagnosis. I was lucky, though, that my case wasn't as extreme as a lot of patients. With me, it wasn't so much starvation, but it was more of an obsession with healthy eating, as well as exercising and counting calories. There was a point when I did starve myself (at 15 years old) and I lost 20-30 pounds within less than a month. However, I did stop starving myself, but only because I learned that doing so long-term makes you lose muscle mass/tone, and then eventually you gain the weight back. My primary reason for losing weight to begin with, was to get a toned athletic body. I never really tried to go for that "skeletal" look that many anoreixics/bulimics strive for.

As someone who struggled with an eating disorder for almost 5 years, I have to agree with F6Pilot that blaming eating disorders on men and the media is pretty lame. That excuse is, as he said, old and played out.

We could say that the media has SOME influence on the occurence of eating disorders. Thats only because some women view images of thin and beautiful celebrites, and get jealous because they feel that they don't look as good as those women. By blaming the media on the occurence of eating disorders, then one is suggesting that female celebrities have eating disorders themselves. True, there are a reported numerous amount of actresses, singers, models, and athletes who do have eating disorders. But if someone is going to starve, eat/vomit, abuse laxitives, or what-have-you in order to achieve the look of these women, then thats their own fault.

On the other hand, famous women such as Jennifer Garner, Jessica Beil, Jessica Alba, and Reese Witherspoon all have beautiful bodies, and none of them have eating disorders. If you decide to starve yourself or abuse laxitives to achieve their look, because you're too lazy to commit to a healthy diet and exercise regime, then I feel very sorry for you. But again, don't blame the media and don't blame other people for your choice to abuse your body. If we are going to say that the media has a direct influence of anorexia/bulimia, then we could also say that the fast food industry is to blame for obesity, which is absurd of course. Life is all about choices. At the end of the day, your physical condition is a product of choices that you made. I don't blame the media for my eating disorder. I blame it on the fact that I simply wanted to look better, and that I was unhappy and still unhappy with my body.

Blaming eating disorders on men is stupid. As F6Pilot stated, most men are not attracted to women with excess body fat. That does not mean that men like skin-and-bones either. I find that most men prefer slim athletic women. About a year ago, I was in awesome shape. 5'5", 120 pounds, and approximately 16% body fat. I wasn't excessively thin, but alot of people, female and male, told me I looked really good and its because I was lean and had good muscle tone. Over the years, athletism and muscle has been the ideal. You simply cannot achieve that look by starving or binging and purging. I was still struggling with body issues and my own eating disorder (still am), but it was moreso just anorexic thoughts. I learned that the only way to get lean and stay lean is to lift weights, exercise moderately, and EAT.

I also agree that men should not have to change their preferences just to make other women feel better. Alot of people may think I'm tastless for being attracted to skinny men with long black hair, tattoos and piercings. But that does not mean that I'm going to stop liking them. I'm not sorry for liking what I like, and nor should men have to be sorry for liking what they like. I see images of thin attractive women everyday in advertisement and on television. It doesn't bother me one bit. And frankly, being "bombarded" is pretty much unavoidable so you might as well just accept it. If you want a body like those women have, then work for it. Have some discipline with your diet and hit the gym 5 days a week. Eat sensibly and healthily, but don't deprive yourself of nutrients, proteins, carbohydrates, and fats.

Okay, I'm done.