Things one can learn from watching Fred Claus
A fun list for all!
1) Even though Fred is Santa's older brother, he will still look 40 years younger than him, despite the fact they are ageless.
2) Some elves have huge abnormal-sized human heads with tiny bodies.
3) Mrs. Claus has nothing better to do than nag her husband.
4) There is a board of directors (location unknown) dedicated to examining holidays' efficiencies and it can also shut down the holidays permanently if they can't deliver, thus ruining the holidays for the entire world.
5) Even if you are a talented actress (coughRachelWeiszcough), you can still take time off to do at least one mediocre movie where your talent isn't needed, even if it is just a cameo.
6) The same goes for many other actors/actresses (coughPaulGiamattiVinceVaughnKathyBatesKevinSpaceyMirandaRichardsoncough)
7) Santa's personal assistant has practically nothing to do but stand around, smile and wear revealing clothing that shows her boobs and legs, despite the fact she is in sub-zero temperatures.
8) Some Elves are not real; they are badly created with computers.
9) Santa and the elves love listening to the same song over and over and over and over and over and over and over....
10) Santa's bodyguards like to fight for no reason.
11) Don't try to panhandle cash on the street for yourself on Christmas; you'll end up getting chased by an seemingly endless crowd of charity Santas.
12) Every kid deserves a present on Christmas because no kids are naughty...even the ones that bite.
13) When doing difficult paperwork for Santa, you may find the paperwork to pile up if you don't get started...despite the fact that all you have to do is stamp them.
14) Even if you don't finish a lot of the paperwork and stamp "Nice" on every other paper, you will still get your $50,000.
15) If you are a nun and you help a woman deliver her baby, feel free to tell her "This is the fattest baby I have ever seen"...despite the fact that the baby isn't even that fat.
16) Santa may be a Saint, but he still chops down a harmless tree where a bluebird made its nest.
17) If that event occurs and it hurts you, don't tell your brother that it hurt you until years later.
18) If a girl can't even remember your name, she's not worth it.
19) It is possible to eat millions of cookies and drink thousands of gallons of milk in one night without ever having to go to the bathroom.
20) Chances are good that if you have a little friend that is good go to an orphanage, he will end up being #1 on Santa's most naughty list.
21) Denny Duqette will show up at any time for less than a minute to ask your girlfriend out and then never show up again.
22) Santa and Fred's Father has very little to say or do.
23) Santa's assistant should find work at a local strip club.
24) Kids will be so happy if they get a present on Christmas...even if it is a lame baseball bat or a hula hoop.
25) If the evil director tries to shut you down, try warming his icy heart by giving him a Superman cape...even though you could have done this earlier when he arrived.
So much to learn from a standard holiday film. If anyone learned anything, feel free to add.