MovieChat Forums > Waitress (2007) Discussion > What a strange and ultimately demeaning ...

What a strange and ultimately demeaning message this films sends out.


This film is billed as a delicious romantic comedy but I couldn't find any comedy and virtually no romance. Moreso it seemed to send out the strangest of messages.

This waitress lives with an abusive, dominating husband that she hates – Just leave him then.

I’m sick and tired of these stupid women who hook up with a ‘bad boy’ assuming they can change/tame him and then are surprised when they can’t. If he hits or verbally intimidates you for the first time, you decide your course of action. You give him another chance or you leave him. If he does it again and you don’t go then you’ve only got yourself to blame.

Why do these women play the goddam victim all the time? You choose who you date/marry. Your choice of partner reflects on you as a person. Maybe you should have put a little thought into it beforehand. I’m so tired of the “Oh it’s not my fault, he changed” response. This hand washing of responsibility for your plight is bollocks. The signs were there but you probably chose to ignore them.

She then gets pregnant by him, which when she does the pregnancy test is praying it comes in negative. It comes in positive but at no point does she consider termination. “The child won't have a dad but I'm going to have it anyway” is the sentiment.

Why couldn’t she terminate? She can’t stand this man yet she wants to have his child? She wants to be free and not tied down anymore yet is going to be lumbered with a child. Why have a child that is going to grow up without a father? Why can’t she think of the child’s future? If you know from the get go that it won’t have access to its father then you are affecting the child’s upbringing from the beginning. Abortions are there to correct mistakes. Granted they should not be used as contraceptive but they are there so you don’t have to go through with the birth.

She then has an affair with a married man (even though she's still married) creating a strange situation that 'she thinks nothing wrong with having an affair' but it so traditional that she couldn't entertain a termination.

I’m not comparing an affair with an abortion but again the film gives no reason as to why abortion is such a complete no-no. One makes the assumption it’s because of her moral code, religious beliefs or something else. Although the film synopsis describes her as sassy, maybe she has traditional values. The point I’m making is that her morals/values/religious beliefs don’t impede her having an affair with a married man yet prevent her from even considering an abortion.

Some will say that ‘just leaving him’ is overly simplistic but in the film she can't do this when she is without child but finds the strength to once having had a baby. Therefore implying that a baby will resolve all of your problems.

The film sends out an awful message. Basically a woman on her own isn’t strong enough or independent enough to stand up for herself but having a child and becoming a mother makes everything ok. Get out of an abusive relationship by having a child with aforementioned man, then raise the child without the balance of a fathers input. Christ, is this is the rallying call for a host of council house, single mum slags?

I find this film portrays a ridiculously old fashioned ideal that a woman is only complete when she is a mother. In my mind this is utter *beep* and couldn’t be more demeaning or un-PC to women.



www.paynebyname.com

reply

I agree wit u on the point that a woman who chooses to b wit an abusive prick its pretty much her fault, but remember that the whole "‘bad boy’ assuming they can change/tame him" scenario isn't always the case, sometimes the *beep* hides who he is until they're married, like in the film Enough. But when it comes down to wether the abusive jerk has rights to his kid, putting the law aside, in my opinion he doesn't have any rights, the prick will just do to the kid what he does to the woman, when a man beats up his wife/girlfriend he loses all respect in my eyes, nothin but a wife beating *beep*

reply

and sensitivity training.

I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking: if you ask I have to let you have it

reply

Why can't she think of the child? She did - she gave it a chance at life.

reply

Regardless of the choice of abortion that I don't agree with, u got it right
but then, the doctor wouldn't have so much fun with her
she is more fun that his respected wife, having sex in the office is a nice dangerous thing, hitting on a married woman etc...
so if a husband hits his wife couple of times, maybe in reality a husband speaks to his wife in loud voice or even if he wasn't charming enough, that means she can cheat on him for some people as they want to think so but the movie is only a bridge from this to that
coz after all she is his property, typical kid who is mad at his parents would just act inappropriately to get back at them regardless it means messing his future like dropping out of school or failing or doing drugs
I just wonder is it just me that think a person should really act as good as he/she wants to be? coz she when cheated on him was not just kicking him in the back but also making a *** out of herself
but movies r abt that, u can steal what is stolen from u and u can kill and u can cheat and that won't make u a bad person coz ur spouse gave u a free pass that doesn't mean u should leave and start from scratch to escape but it means u can act as a **** as well and not get judged
I like a post that mentioned she acted happy with ur husband, she kept saying she loves him and never told him that he should change but yet some replies said she couldn't give him anymore chances which requires she talking to him and telling him to stop
anyway I think of it as a movie intended to show cheating as ok even though the doctor's wife didn't deserve it and the lil daughter didn't deserve to have a cheating wife and even her mom wrote a letter saying it was abt sex in the beginning then it changed after that, I mean what kind of a daughter she would be when she reads that!
I believe if a woman is abused then she should leave, if she is not happy then she should just leave, not get into an affair coz she is abused or not happy
but that is silly me, movies have different opinion and a lot seems to agree.

"It is never about what happened, it is only how you look at it!"

reply

LOL! You are one of those pathetic losers who can't get laid so they decide that women suck. Get a life.

"I love Sonny and Sonny loves me"-Carly Corinthos

reply

He seemed revolting during the first five minutes but then he seemed to be a female stereotype being played by a male actor and the wife was a male stereotype played by a female actor. It made it more interesting but I preferred watching her blonde friend (the one without glasses) who had an easier part to play and did it very well....

Marlon, Claudia and Dimby the cats 1989-2005, 2007 and 2010.

reply

I think you take this movie far more seriously than it was meant to be taken. It's a breezy dramedy showcasing the charming Keri Russell. At the end, you're supposed to feel good.
If you want reality, volunteer at your local woman's shelter. Seriously, they may need the help, just try to hold on to an optimistic attitude, if you can.

reply

I’ve just seen the film for the first time and Keri’s character said her husband changed after they married. It’s clear that she did not purposefully marry an abusive asshole.

reply