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Things I've learned from watching Prey (Spoilers)

posted 17 years ago by nicklasbille
18 replies | jump to latest

Here are some of the things I've learned from watching Prey:
(Feel free to add your own :P )

Lions are _everywhere_ in the savannah.

Lions will _always_ attack humans - it doesn't matter if they're provoked or not.

If you're ever successful in killing a lion, you will surely get killed yourself by one of the other hundred million lions, always on the prowl.

Experienced big game hunters are no match for a lion.

Big game hunters can smell where the lions are by sniffing a pile of lion dung.

Lions growl all the time.

Still water (in a pond) is ofcourse drinkable.

It impossible to spot a white car from the sky amidst ankle-high grass.

Lions have blurry vision.

Dehydration is not a factor, even though you should be drinking about a ltr. of water almost every hour, maybe more.

Girls think its possible to shout loud enough so that a chopper will hear you while flying.

Shouting is apparently more effective than honking the horn.

The gasoline tank is accessable from the inside, if you use a hammer.

When an open gasoline tank is lit on fire, it will explode.

Women can't drive to save their life and will speed and crash, even though its an open space, with no trees or the like to crash into.

Ranger vehicles don't have regular windscreen glass - but ordinary glass, which breaks away like an normal window.

Explosions only kill lions, not people.

Doors will jam shut atleast 70% of the time you try to use them.

Poachers can kill 1 lion with one shot instantly, while the lion is sprinting and pouncing - but after that, the rule about killing a lion goes into effect.

[–] Vargur 16 years ago

Thanks for saving me the time to watch it.

[–] bellinghop 16 years ago

Holding up a car roof with a lion on it is no problem at all.

Putting on a sweatshirt will decrease the likelihood of poachers getting any ideas.

Making out in a swimming pool is sexy... especially if you're doing it in front of your children.

Ipods never run out of battery power in Africa.

"Lion-vision" cinematography gives you some sense of how your household cat sees the world.

Even though your tracker is dead you can find your way home without any help at all.

Peter Weller needs to make a cameo in Robocop 4 or I'll be pissed.

[–] albundysminion 16 years ago

And also

There is no way to shoot a lion unless it is jumping on someone. If its paws are touching the ground, you can only destroy it by causing a vehicle to explode.

[–] mshabany 16 years ago

people can survive for almost 3 days without any food !

[–] Diablo-Helldemmon 16 years ago

"people can survive for almost 3 days without any food (insert sarcasm)"

I think I am correct when I say this: we can survive about a week without food. it's the water we can not survive without more than a few days.

so...

when in a safari and you have to take a leak or a dump...be sure to find a tree near tall grass so nobody can see you, when you know damn well that in doing so it could be your last safari :))

aslo...when you are stranded without water but you do have a bottle be sure to leave without it when you go in search of water

when you see your stranded family near a broken car or in that car and you have to cross tall grass to get to them be sure to run like an indiot and don't check for any kind of dangers lurking in that said grass especially when your back is covered by an experienced hunter

when going to search for your stranded family in a land full of lions, take the Jeep with no windows and no protection at all

when you're running for your life, well, don't worry, you will always trip and die afterwards so there really is no point in running now, is there? :))

when your driver is eaten by a lion you can rest assured that the pack is still hungry and they will wait for you for days on end to get a chance to eat you too because they have nothing else better to do

_______
Logan: I don't know.
Rogue: You don't know, or you don't care?
Logan: Pick one. X-Men

[–] Alfabeta 15 years ago

"Even though your tracker is dead you can find your way home without any help at all".

That's the one! I kept thinking there was a "cherry on moronic top" moment I missed and that was it. :) Thank you, sir.

Also, the kid poacher goes in search of his friend and shows up hours!!! later, of course chased by a pissed off lion.

Pete and Weller don't call the cops when they find the human remains.

Weller apparently instantly forgets about Pete as soon as he finds his family.

All jokes aside...
I guess Weller did this film just to get a free vacation in Africa. His character is so useless it's almost stunt casting.

btw
3 (three!) people wrote this movie! Also, all of them are men, and main characters are 2 women! :) They really should start commercializing this as a comedy like the guys behind "The Room" did.

If it was made in the crazy 80ies or laid back 90ies, I'm sure this horror would have been an awesome B movie.

[–] trish722 16 years ago

If I paint a jeep zebra striped, the favored prey of lions, and fill it with tasty humans--the only people who will get killed, are the ones with the weapons.

A large black and white jeep cannot be spotted in a field of sun bleached grass.

Instead of dropping a flaming T-Shirt on a lion's behind, you should set an entire vehicle on fire.

When sitting in a vehicle on alert for lions who have been stalking you, it's okay to plug into your iPod and obscure your hearing. Must have music.

Safari guides are so sensitive to criticism that they will go "off road" when whining kids call the tour "lame."

When a lion's mouth is full and occupied eating someone in your car, don't try to slash him with the machete that the victim drops, just sit back horrified.

[–] refdan 16 years ago

Regarding the water issue. Remember that these people were trapped in a closed vehicle in the heat of the day. The temperature in the vehicle should have reached well over 100 degrees, causing profuse sweating, heat exhaustion, dehydration and extreme lethargy. The amount of water these three had was nowhere near enough to sustain them for three days under these conditions.

Additional things I learned:

A lame woman can outrun a lion at full gallop, but a healthy man can't.

Lions will patiently wait while you light your lighter to burn them up.

A lame woman can also outrun an explosion that burns everything within 50 feet of the vehicle while a lion can't.

Poachers in Africa want to help pretty young women even though they are witnesses to a crime.

Lions are easier to hit when they are running than when they are still.

Men with weapons are much easier to kill than unarmed tourists.

[–] Good_Citizen 9 years ago

Haha, all of yours are good and accurate. What a *beep* movie.

[–] MierdaDeToro 15 years ago

Prepubescent, rebellious girls with sh!tty attitudes towards everything seldom deserve less than a punch in the mouth.

Upon encountering foreigners, young rebellious girls assume that if you raise your voice a few decibels while talking at a snail's pace, they will be made to understand English better.

People fleeing in a vehicle always crash the vehicle.

David had to go...but he didn't have to pee.

He (or she) who is given two jugs of water always returns with only one, as the other one almost always gets dropped.

In case you didn't notice, our guide just got eaten by a lion.

David was thirsty.

Rebellious whiny teenage girls have angst toward stepmothers.

If you know that you're going on a safari expedition, poop before you go.

Being scared to death by an attacking lion will make you not want to poop anymore.

David was hungry.

If you start to worry, just think about fast food hamburgers.

Driving off on a safari expedition without GPS or a compass is not very smart.

David was thirsty again.

Jessica won't eat anything that resembles a character from The Lion King.

Having a lot of money is no reason to piss off the only available ranger who can remotely help you.

We're not leaving this car. Why? Because you say so? No, because it's safe...and yeah, because I say so. Do you think he's gonna find us? Yes. I do. What if Dad doesn't find us? He will. What if he doesn't? He will. And what if my dad doesn't find us? Goddammit, he will!

David needed water. They all did. But especially him.

Any movie with a helicopter is not complete without that China Beach fly-in-front-of-the-sunrise camera shot.

Telling a rich and desperate white guy with a lost family that there isn't a ranger alive that can find his family in the dark is apparently not convincing enough.

Stepmoms take notice: Your whiny rebellious daughter will come around...after her iPod finally dies.

Rich white guys with lost families believe everything they read.

After blowing up The Lion King, all other lions magically disappear long enough for you to join hands and stand together like a bloodied family portrait, and then climb up a ridge to your piece of sh!t Jeep.

[–] teddy89 15 years ago

"when going to search for your stranded family in a land full of lions, take the Jeep with no windows and no protection at all"
Oh my God, yes, that just made me want to scream. Then the ranger had the nerve to say, "now we make camp". My first thought was if there had been lions there that night, how would they have saved themselves? It was absolutely ridiculous.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] CAS3343 15 years ago

OP just saved me from watching this movie tonight.

Much appreciated!

five midgets
spanking a man
covered in thousand island dressing
is that love?

[–] mevlutunlu 14 years ago

never use a machete to protect yourself from a lion but for only cutting the seatbelts.

If you love when Jesse says BITCH and are 100% proud of it, copy this and make it your signature!

[–] Oddark123 13 years ago

You're one fact is not true

You don't have to drink a ltr per hour, you can go for many hours of not drinking anything and being fine, i do it every week day

[–] 13 years ago

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