I don't know where all of these super judgmental comments came from. He left because she was never around. She's was gone all of the time and working three different jobs, she was just and absentee spouse.
Actually I think that is a real problem, one many couples could have. If he had the expectation that they would have a lot of time together after work, that he'd see his wife on a regular basis and she, without any warning or discussion, just starts taking multiple jobs to where all she does is work around the clock and the marriage itself takes a backseat to the job it could seem like a "bait and switch" scenario.
Where I fault him is that according to the way the film portrayed it, he never sat her down and expressed this and told her, finish out the semester or school year under your commitments but going forward into the future I need your more, I need you to work your job and not take extra jobs, spending time is important. I'm sure they could have worked it out. She'd probably work herself ragged if she kept that up too long anyway.
His error was never expressing feelings of not having his need for quality time with her, making a final decision and ending the marriage without talking this out and working on it.
There are five "love languages" people communicate in and usually each person will have their one main love language they need to receive love in. His may have been quality time. They are (in no order): Quality Time (making time for each other, showing you are a priority by spending quality time together, Words of Encouragement (Verbally affirming your love and value you have in a person, building them up with your words why you value them, how important they are to you), Physical Touch (closeness, affection, cuddling, holding hands, showing how much you love someone by desiring to be close together and have physical contact...a "touchy, feely" person), Gift Giving (surprising someone with gifts, showing you were thinking about them and you value them by getting them things) and Acts of Service (doing things for each other, showing love by serving someone, doing things for them).
His my have been quality time and she may have been starving this need by never giving it.
For the movies sake I understand the audiences main focus was this class of students, that's what the movie was about. In real life marriages should always come before work and if there are problems and disagreements it's always best to openly and honestly, in a spirit of kindness and love, to express them and share them so they can be addressed. He should have expressed his concerns over where the marriage was heading instead of just storing it all up internally and then making a final, marriage altering decision before she ever knew there was a problem.
This men vs. women debate is petty and juvenile. ANY spouse has the right to expect to be put first, man or woman. The main thing is do you know what their career is going into the marriage. Are you upset after the fact, after you already knew how much time they were expected to be away and you are now having "buyer's remorse" or did you go into the marriage expecting more time together and one spouse pulls a switch. People should know these things before marriage.
I expect time with my spouse. I just would have never married someone who is gone all the time, someone who can be called away all the time unexpectedly and travel and be out of town a lot. Personally I don't know how women marry soldiers. People that can be told to move to another country at the drop of a hat, can be gone on deployments 6-9 months. I'd never even date a soldier. I don't know why all of these soldier have girlfriends and wives. I guess quality time isn't that important for many.
Anyway, his needs are real. He should have talked about them and discussed how things could improve for the future, stop with all of the extra jobs.
Was ist der Sinn des Lebens?
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