Sex is always the most fun when it's with new people? No it isn't. Sure the idea of another,temptation is always this wonderful thought. Then you do it, and guess what, another let down. It is a cycle.
This really touches on something at the core of my argument. If you'll bare with me for a second Mephisto, I should probably address that first...
The first question I have to raise here is "What Is Human Nature?" In psychology, it's observed that human nature in the natural state (ie. a child who is groomed from birth to act on his impulses) is highly promiscuous. The bible really embraces and argues this idea pretty heavily too, probably one of the few places where modern psychology and the bible have common ground. I mean whats the first thing people say when they see a teenager who's sleeping around like a jack rabbit in heat? "Ohhh, the parents didn't teach them right, bad parenting, etc". One of the first social responsibilities that most parents are expected to undertake (whether consciously or not) is to hide sexuality from their kids. Most don't really analyze why they do it, but on a sociological level, it makes it a lot easier to train them to be monogamous/less sexual later in life. You don't see most parents, especially religious parents, supplying their kids with a collection of Hustlers.
The practical effect of detaching kids from their sexuality early on, and preaching against sex as they get older, is that a lot of people (and especially people who have been raised in some kind of environment where sex is bad or it's highly hidden from them) have a really hard time enjoying their natural desire to be promiscuous, and instead they accumulate a great number of sexual hangups (you alluded to this fact in your post).
So when I talk about this subject to adults who have been raised in a very sexually open home, they love sex, and they love it with new people too, as long as the people are beautiful and they feel like they connect with them. But when I have this conversation with people who have been raised in a religious, or more asexual environment, they have a much harder time relating to the person who is very sexually free and loves all kinds of sex. (Typically, people who are raised in a sexually repressive environment have a word for people who are raised in a sexually free environment... "SLUT! WHORE! etc, there's a rather long list of colorful words.)
Now we're biologically programmed to go out and spread our seed with as many people as possible in order to ensure the survival of the species. If we naturally felt that sex with many people was "icky" or a let down after we did it, that would only hinder our ability to ensure our species survival.
The reason I wanted to get this idea out of the way, is because I'll keep referring back to it and I don't want to retype all this. It's important to separate sexual conquests that you've been socially trained to feel let down by, and sexual conquests that you're biologically hardwired to feel let down by. I'm going to embrace the biblical view that humans are naturally promiscuous and it's mom and dads job to "raise them right" so they don't enjoy their promiscuity.
The problem with stale sex lives, and relationships is the lack of communication. not banging other people.
For some people maybe, but it's strange. Typically, I've found that mental connection and sexual connection are two arms of the same concept (our need to connect). The more you feel like you're connected with someone mentally, the less you feel like you need to connect with them sexually. Likewise for most people I've known, they are the MOST sexually attracted to people who they know nothing about yet. All they know is the person is gorgeous.
On the other hand, the only people I've ever met in my life who have a good sex life after 30 years, always seem to be people who keep a lot of secrets from one another (they have a lot of deeper mysteries about them that they don't share) and it's actually this lack of communication and feeling like you're not connecting with them on a mental level somehow, that fuels a natural need for physical/sexual connection even after decades of marriage.
"You can only unwrap the same gift so many times" HorseS#*&! That is the other downfall. We get to comfortable with each other. We set around and walk around naked, to the point where there is no turn on. used to be, when the sight of bare shoulders, wrapped in a sheet was the most amazing, sexy thing ever. now its something you dont notice.
Forgive me for saying, but much of your post reads like a Tony Robbins conference. "Common people! We can overcome our biological programming! Are you a quitter?? Lets do this thing!!" Which is kind of cool, but it's more about trying to motivate people to work within the sexually repressive framework that's been imposed on them by faith, society, and their upbringing. 1 in every 2 marriages ends in divorce in this country and for good reason... sex with the same people over and over becomes so boring that half the people in this country are willing to endure having half their fortune and kids taken from them, just to move on to brighter pastures.
People feel like the bible stops them from "enjoying" life. If they cracked it open, they would find many answer's to life's hard questions, something I am also in the process of doing.
I was raised Christian, and as I said, throughout, I've always noticed that the bible adopts a very negative view of sexuality. I can give you about 100 passages where it refers to sex as an evil, and maybe only 5 where it ever refers to it as being "ok" and only in the context of a wife doing her duty by letting her husband have his way with her.
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