To hopefully answer your questions, in your post. About the loss of the arm,
usually catastrophic injuries like having ones arm ripped off at the shoulder are mortal, since there is no way to stanch the blood loss. The reason why he shrinks would seem to be anyone's guess. Perhaps his power was in that massive eardrum, which kept him so huge, and when destroyed made him shrink, or perhaps rather like the superhero The Incredible Hulk, his rage is the key to his power, it keeps him supersized in battle, but the agony of that ruptured eardrum by a superior foe instilled fear into him and sapped his fury, kicking in the flight half of the 'Fight or flight' mode, taking away that battle concentration needed to keep him huge, so in his terror he shrinks to get away. The reasons are manyfold. As for the reason why the muffled sound affects him so. The key seems to be vibration, sound, however muffled seems to be enough to aggrivate the creature, due to that huge eardrum, I am guessing that it must be much like how one would feel around those cars with the sound systems turned up so loud that the bass gets grating, but amplified manyfold.
I have a theory about the reason for the son's draconic form. Simply put it's because he is half dragon. Although called a water demon, it seems more likely that Grendel's mother was in fact some form of water dragoness. This would fit in since we are talking about characters who have probably never seen a demon before and so would use the term 'demon' to describe any supernatural creature. This would fit in with the facts of the past. The land plagued by a dragon who is slain by a great hero-turned-king, but this warrior king secretly makes a pact with the beautiful transformed dragoness to sire a hybrid son in exchange for fame and power. The pact of course is all a lie, giving the dragoness the means to cruelly exact the revenge for her slain son. The hideous deformed progeny is used to further torment the monarch father who is already wracked by shame and regret, until it is killed by another hero-turned-king, and the cycle repeats. A very elaborate plan of revenge indeed. According to many fantasy stories, dragons can be shape shifters who can take on human form and yes interbreed with humans, creating hybrid progeny which have the powers of their draconic parentage. With some in such fantasy stories, like anyone they can be either good or evil, sometimes it is influenced by their upbringing, sometimes the draconic type of the dragon parent might play a role in instinctive inclination, good parent, good progeny, evil parent, evil progeny.
As for Beowulf's meloncholy in the sparing of the raider, Finn of Fresia, one has to watch the scene on its own.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf6GDDnK5Zo
As you can see, at this point in his life he already knows that he has made the biggest mistake of his life. It's a sham, everything is hollow and meaningless, because of his secret pact and mating with Grendel's mother, he knows that he is in exactly the same position as Hrothgar was when he arrived only there is no hero to come, and rescue him from his torment, he cannot die, he is seemingly being made to suffer, wracked with his age-long inner guilt, shame and perhaps self loathing over what he has done when he was young bold, and stupid. The Sword of Damocles hangs over his head as he knows he will probably have to face his own 'Grendel' in the future.
Yes, the cutting off of his own arm was neccessary, because he was less that vital inch or so, the extra bit of slack provided by the chainmail shirt with the loss of the arm provided the difference. It is no small bit of irony that the arm lost happened to be the same arm which he rent from Grendel. hope this helps!
--Dancougar82
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