MovieChat Forums > Supernanny (2005) Discussion > the problem is

the problem is

posted 16 years ago by bunnyjm74
7 replies | jump to latest

I've been reading many of the posts and what I see really bothers me. I have two children, a three year old and a four month old. I think many of the problems with parents these days is that they do not start talking to their children about behavior young enough and do not have set rules with structure. Children need structure. It does not need to be as rigorous as the schedules on the show but children with structure do better. It is why day cares and school run smoothly with multiple children. Children knows its this, then this and then this with known expectations. Children also understand more than we give them credit for. They may not grasp the whole part of what was happening but they understand enough to have a conversation about right and wrong. W started with our oldest at 18 months with time outs and talking to her. A time out and talking to your child takes longer than a spanking but the rewards last much longer. Disciplining a child correctly takes more time and I think it is why more parents resort to yelling and spanking. But if you notice, the more a parent yells, the louder and worse the kids get. When parents are calm, the children pick up on that. I would be lying if I said I never lose my cool and yell but when I do, my daughter acts worse. I applaud Jo for giving us ways to teach ourselves and children ways to behave with each other.

Proud Army wife!!!

[–] nuttytoknow 16 years ago

Good for you for doing that! I agree that they can learn at a very early age.

If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

[–] Hmmingbrd1 16 years ago

I agree, discipline must start early,but that does not mean hitting them. On a serious occasion (running out into the street) does deserve a swat on a bottom, but no where else. Rules should be make when they are young, they need to know their limits and parents need to stick by their rules. The 6 year old son of my son's girlfriend it out of control and it is very hard to keep him for any amount of time. When he is with us, we explain our simple rules ( washing hands after using bathroom, using a paper towel when eating), and both can take up to 20 minutes to get him to comply, we do yell, we just keep taking him back to the bathroom and tell him that in our house, we wash our hands after using the restroom. He is not required to do this at his house, but when he is at our house, he is required to follow rules. It has gotten much better, but he still has his moments. He complains that his school has the same rules, but he is glad when he is home and doesn't have to. Kids raised without any rules can turn out to be a real mess.

[–] cheluzal 16 years ago

There is an argument that hiting kids makes them meaner, but I've not made that connection. The well-bahaved kids I teacher and people I know were all spanked.

This show proves that parents who never hit, never yell, but just sit and let their kid hit THEM can produce mean kids who weren't ever hit. Some of these kids on here need a swift kick in the rear to straighten up.

Cursing is a crutch for the communicationally-challenged.

[–] NeytariTook 15 years ago

My brother was never spanked and he is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. And he's been a model child at every level of development.

I was spanked and it did cause me to resent my parents and made me confused about why it was OK for mommy to hit me, but not OK for me to hit my sister. I was unhappy and brat to my parents, and the spanking was a major part of why.

Parents need to teach by example and withhold violence.

"Blending is the secret"

[–] tammera70 15 years ago

Maybe you were just a brat and you are using the spankings to justify it. I have been in the business of early childhood for many years and there are some kids who have no moral compass. They are not spanked but they hit and bite. Even when they are disciplined in a peaceful manner they lash out. I have never laid a hand on any of my own kids yet my one daughter hits her brother all the time. I send her to her room when she does that (there is no tv or video games in her room). It doesn't seem to have much affect on her. I often wonder if maybe I should have spanked her bottom so she knows what its like to be hit.

Bitch is the new black - Tina Fey

[–] NeytariTook 15 years ago

I can assure you I was not a brat. To the people who didn't hit me (my grandparents, teachers) I was a model child.

In my experience (I am involved in early childhood as well), children lash out and behave badly when they are feeling bad. They don't know how to calm themselves down and deal with their feelings, so they explode. Time-outs teach them how to cool down by forcing them to sit still and learn to calm themselves. Comforting or distracting an unhappy or bored child before tempers flair up also works. Engaging them in battles and violence keeps the storm going.

"Blending is the secret"

[–] chromesthesia 15 years ago

Yeah, it does get annoying when parents turn normal kid behaviour into a battlefield.
Like food, going to the bathroom. Sleeping...

He said,
"Just put your feet down child,
'Cause you're all grown up now."