MovieChat Forums > Supernanny (2005) Discussion > The naughty step/time out is OK...my Tim...

The naughty step/time out is OK...my Time out fiasco...

posted 15 years ago by deem714
5 replies | jump to latest

I am happily surprised to hear this...

I worked in a daycare center run by a family (the adult daughters were the assistant directors of the centers) and one of their policies was that they don't do any sort of time-out. They don't even remove a child from the class unless they are being insanely obnoxious, which rarely happens.

My story: I was dealing with a three year old that was not listening and was quite upset about something or other. I said to the child "Do you need to take some time for yourself?" The child said yes and I sat him in a chair at a table with a glass of water to calm down. A parent was there picking up his son and went to the office stating that I had used "time out" which was a day care center policy no-no. the assistant director came into the room soon after the parent left with his son and talked to me about it. About three minutes transpired since the "Take some time?" and the AD coming to see me and the child was okay and we had already talked about listening and he had already left his chair (with my permission.)
SO the AD talks to me about my using the term "Time out" (which I didn't use.) and was nice in re-stating that "We don't use time outs here..." and I listened to it intentively (while watching the other kids no less!!) When she was finished I just asked. "Did that parent say I had used Time out?" She said yes, and I said "that was not what I said. child x was getting upset over XYZ and was ready to take his anger to the next level. I stopped him before he escalated to violence and I had him sit down with a glass of water and 'take some time for himself'. He was there calming down for a few minutes and when he was ready to talk about it we talked and it's over."

Incidentally: later on as I was ending my working there: we had some naughty students that when they first started out(with me!!), were not naughty at all. They had some incentives but they were empty. (stickers don't really mean anything if you are made to collect them for being good: How about trading 25 stickers for a star-wars figurine...???)

I am so happy to see that timeouts are okay. My bosses were fools!

You're laborers, you're supposed to be laboring! That's what you get for not having an education!!

[–] nuttytoknow 15 years ago

That was really great how you handled it! I think that should be the new policy, take time out for yourself rather than just a time out. I think it is rediculous to have that rule. A friend of mine worked in a daycare that did not allow you to say no to the child ever. They were not allowed to discipline them ever. I would not ever work in a daycare like that. They need to be told when their behavior is wrong so they can learn from it.

Ouch: First word spoken by children with older siblings.

[–] deem714 15 years ago

Thank you. I thought so, too. I dislike the words "time out" But I do see a need for "time out" (a break from the situation -- which is why I name it take some time).

As a teacher I agree that it is ridiculous to let anyone get away with murder, much less a child. and the unfortunate thing is that there are some parents who use school and daycare as a basis of training their child to listen (erm... comes from home people!!)

and not only do they need to be told their behavior is wrong: but also why it is wrong and what to do next time...

You're laborers, you're supposed to be laboring! That's what you get for not having an education!!

[–] lassitude 15 years ago

Wtf? How did they handle disruptive/unruly/violent children, then? Wait until someone was hurt/attacked and then remove the attacker?

I couldn't deal with that. I literally would rather be in a hostage situation.

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[–] harlowfan 15 years ago

Wtf? How did they handle disruptive/unruly/violent children, then? Wait until someone was hurt/attacked and then remove the attacker?

I couldn't deal with that. I literally would rather be in a hostage situation.

I personally don't see anything wrong with a good spanking every now and then. As long as it doesn't become a regular thing, I think it's fine. And as long as it is a real spanking, firmly on the backside with one hand or paddle.

No squeezing of arms until the parent leaves a mark, or hitting/squeezing them anywhere else on the body. That's abuse.

In all honesty, I don't believe God gave us cushy behinds solely to sit on. haha! I'm a progressive-minded person, too. I think the days of "whoopings" as the sole solution ARE outdated, and we need other methods. But in the rare instances when all those methods have been exhausted? When a kid is just simply out of control and testing their limits to the max? A good spanking never hurt anyone.

I remember my mom using a paddle on me. When she'd had enough, I got the paddle, got locked into my room, and if it was night, she turned the light out too. Of course, I'd always turn around and turn the light back on, but it was symbolism. When she gave me a whack and threw me in my room and flicked the light off.... it meant "I'm done with you." She didn't even say a word or do any yelling when it was "Paddle Time." She was just like "that's it" and.... seeing her fiercely walking over to get that thing was scary enough for me. :-) I remembering jumping up and down on my bed crying to get rid of the sting and seeing mom flick that light and slam the door.

It didn't happen very often at all. It didn't have to. I got the message. The sting lingered long enough to give me something to think about, but went away fast enough to where there was no real harm done.

And another thing we have to remember - I don't think most parents back in the day let their kids walk all over them the way they do today. I think years ago, parents meant business. They had an air of authority that their kids respected. These parents on Supernanny are doormats.

I also notice kids stay inside more today. They're probably stir crazy. When I was little we were always outside. Notice how part of Jo's new technique and schedule always involves getting the kids outside? And on a lot of these episodes you can tell they never do that.

[–] maplejack 15 years ago

I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking the way you describe it either, but it would not be my preferred choice as a parent. I am not a parent (yet) so it's possible I may change my mind in the future, but I am thinking at the moment that I woudl prefer to stick to time-outs and removal of toys as punishments.

That said, I totally agree about parents being pushovers these days. I think it's because, a hundred years ago, spanking or belting was perfectly normal and parents just did it, or were considered extremely strange if they didn't. But they we got hold of this idea that spanking is bad, and out the window it went.

The problem?

Most parents never replaced it with anything. They just said 'We're not going to spank because it's WRONG!' and then let their kids do what they wanted. No time-outs. No removal of toys. No discipline at all.

If a parent chooses not to spank, I think that's fine, it's a personal choice. But any parent who chooses not to apply any form of consistent punishment routine at all is in for twenty years of pure hell. Enjoy.

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