1. It's legal for cops to drink and drive
2. Beer and Froot Loops apparently taste good
3. Cops apparently don't know how to open a DVD player properly
4. People can take a dump with their pants on
5. It's possible to stuff money inside a wall without having to take the wall down
Let's continue...
"In, my heart I touch the face of God, in my dreams somehow"- Bruce Dickinson
6. Jamming crowded gangland houses is a good remedy for boredom.
7. Phonebooks also make a good instrument of beating a handcuffed suspect.
8. More weight (drugs) is better than pussy.
9. Shooting people when they take a crap (with their pants on) is still sacred.
10. It's impossible for a cop to find light-weight machine guns in LA.
11. If you're a cop you can kill other cops and get away with it.
12. It is obligatory to argue, very loudly, with your boss when you are a maverick cop.
share13. Belts are a great substitute for brass knuckles.
14. Badass rogue cops on their way to break their former dirty-gone-straight partner's jaw will suddenly grow a conscience after he's turned into swiss cheese.
15. While kneeling above said piece of swiss cheese, it's perfectly logical to encourage him to "stay with you" after being pumped full of lead in torso and face.
16. Keanu Reeves apparently believes he can take Terry Crews.
Logan, buddy. It's me, Deadpool! I shot youuuuuu....
17. refridgerators are bullet proof
18. Dr. House sometimes moonlights as a police IA officer but he still can't keep his ass out of the emergency room.
19. You can fit a .50 cal M2 browning machine gun into the trunk of a European car. You just have to remember to take out the spare tire first.
20. Cops are really lousy at burying bodies.
21. Cedric the Entertainer shouldn't be dealing drugs. He's a much too nice guy for that.
Priests adore prophets, prophets resent priests
22. Keanu Reeves shot the sheriff, the deputy and the captain. Bob was framed.
23. Slave traficking gangstas actually get their freak on with heavy machine guns. They just keep under age girls around since it's less embarassing to be misstaken for a pedophile.
Priests adore prophets, prophets resent priests
24. If Jay Mohr has a mustache, he cannot be trusted.
shareI know this kind of thread is just supposed to be in fun, but for the record, the fridge wasn't bulletproof. Both rounds of shot went through it like piss through snow. It just miraculously missed Keanu coming out the other side.
"What the f-ck is the internet?" -Jay, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
25. koreans are not japanese
26. jews have shi tty driving skillz
27. bottles of vodka make you sharper
The car wasn't european - it was a Dodge Charger.
June 29th. I gotta get i shape now...
28. A little bag of colored stuff is still a lil bag when a huge bag of white stuff lands on the table.
29. Little bottles of vodka are much better than one big as bottle for sure.
30. House, who still was seen in ER, really doesn't have a limp. WOW
***********
Hayao Miyazaki - Anime Director for life
The "drive Jew" line wasn't about driving skills. It was that they had a really expensive car. Duh!
"You have no power over me."
it was a joke within a joke. duh.
shareNo, it wasn't! Duh!
"You have no power over me."
well i made a goddamn joke about the joke. stop being a nitpicker killjoy moviemutt
shareI like that nickname!
"You have no power over me."
__________________________________________________________________________________
The car wasn't european - it was a Dodge Charger.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sorry... I'm automobile illiterate.
Priests adore prophets, prophets resent priests
[deleted]
16. Keanu Reeves apparently believes he can take Terry Crews.
======================
LOL that actually made me laugh out loud
31. If you steal a Cop´s car, make sure you leave you front gate open and his car unlocked. There is also no need to check the trunk for his backup gun.
sharebecause 23. is so hilariously educationally correct I have to expand on it by saying that if you buy an illegal machine gun and your supplier frustratingly brings you an impractically oversized gun then you should take lemons and make lemonade by taking the gun home and lovingly place it on the bed so you can get your freak on with it, and because you know it is the kind of freaky thing that other gangsters might feel uncomfortable about knowing you are getting your said freak on with said gun, then said freak should keep underaged kidnap victims around since it's better to be mistaken for a pedophile.
32. Cops seem to get angry easily and tend to solve their difficulties with violence.
33. Telling your former cop partner exactly in detail about everything you are doing prior to killing him is perfectly safe and probably very satisfying because there is no chance in hell that he will whack you with a shovel when you follow him outside as he crawls into his own grave and you need to perform one last swap procedure in order to get dna from his soon to be dead body in order to frame him for your nefarious extra curricular activities.
34. Apparently Heroin is better than pussy.
35. Winston is a slave name, or at least can be suspected of one, if you are trying to convince a brother to shoot a whitey cop, and whitey cop asks the brother not to shoot him and calls the brother by his christian name "Winston" as he implores said brother not in fact to shoot him as the gangster has requested of him, and said brother is hesitant to the point of telling the gangster that he can't do it.
36. In LA there are drywall contractors that can do a bang up job of rebuilding your wall after you have apparently made a real mess in order to stuff it full of money.
37. There is a never ending supply of nurses in LA hospitals that bear an uncanny resemblance to just about every face on every head shot of every talent agency everywhere in LA.
38. Nurses apparently get worried they will lose their jobs if they are caught having hanky panky with their boyfriends on the job, but not worried enough to actually stop having hanky panky
39. Cops like to have barbeques at each other's houses while they tell each other stories how they violate the rights of other people who like to have barbeques at their own houses but also turn the music up too loud when they do it.
40. When you get your freak on with a large machine gun, it is best to put on a Lone Ranger mask because it enhances the freak experience, and also it is good to keep one of the largest hand guns in the world handy but don't consider the fact that it has to be reloaded after 6 shots. And if you stop to realize this after you have fired off the ammunition, then you might get your head blown off as you curse the gods for something that is really your own stupid fault for buying the gun in the first place or at the very least not realizing that time is of the essence when you need to reload.
41. It is more rewarding to watch Jay Mohr and his mustache get a beating, than partaking in some of that global war on terror better than pussy heroin.