Mine is in the pilot episode whne linda is late for work and she starts having an asthma attack.
Sorry i'm late jill, i had an attack'
'dennis?'
'no ashthma'
and then jill goes on to say....
'take a deep breath and get over it and go and put your buns in'!!!!!!!!!lol
[deleted]
My favourite scene was the one where Jill was told to say nice things to the horse and she comes out with "you look nice stuart", before proceeding to 'bounce' stuart's ears. it ws the only bit that made me laugh.
"elephants are nice...but alpaccas are much fluffier"
I have three
Terry's funeral in Series One. Pure Hilariousness and classic Jill. And the grave afterwards, with the Terry's name in tiny's letter, and "husband of JILL" and the picture of Jill on the graveyard
Jill attempting to seduce Dave by singing a love song to him "Dave! Dave! Rockin with me!"
And the end of Episode Four when Jill attempts to seduce Don with overly large breasts, a wig, 80's music and beef Wellington. Her dance is sumptous
For me it has to be the episode where Jill takes Cathy shopping and dumps her at the bottom of a steep hill in her wheelchair before driving off!
Then when they get to a jewellery store window: "Oh I really like that Cath...isn't it lovely...I love that Cath...wish that was mine..." then when Cath buys it for her "I didn't mean that one Cath...I don't like it...I really hate it Cath.." Then when Cath offers to swap it over she decides she wants the equivalent in cash instead!
Yes, & when they start passing the balloon through their knees, I still laugh at that & the meal The 2nd episode is class. "Smashed Prawns in a Milky Basket.."
shareI love it at the meal when kath is like "still vegetarian" and Jill replies with "its all right i have cut off their faces"
I also love it in the second season when they are at the cafe and she complains about the "mouldy blueberry muffin" lol!
i know it's juvinile, but when jill and glen are at their first meeting at the cafe and she asks if he can recomend anything, to this he replies "the rissotto vegetariana is very nice"
"how much is that rissotto vagina"? aks jill
he
Which episode was the one where she plays the sympathy card at the funeral? I've only just started watching it on UK Gold
shareMy faves:
The funeral scene. "I will not hear a WORD against Terry. Having said that, he was, a very bad husband and quite an evil man."
Then series 2:
"I am black Beth...We've had some dreadful summers. I won't report you for being racist."
i have loadz
In the first episode wen the woman goes into the hairdressers and says
"i was happy with colour but it seems to have gon on to my skin" and then she ends up cuttin her a fringe in and then drawing her eyebrows on.
the 2 mentioned above
in fact i cant choose coz it really is that gud series 1 and 2
I'm a very accomodating person, but that sheet is a king size
HAHAaaaaaaa.... what a scene LOL
Of course, I love the whole thing, its genius but i LOVE the last episode in season six where Jill takes Glen out into the kitchen and he says, "are you OK, is it about the cappacino" and she says "partly" It really reminded me of David Brent!
Also love the suicide pact which Jill scuppered cos 'I'm just not hungry.'
This series I thought the line, 'You just gonna have to chop your hand of Linda,' and 'Just tip the whole plate down there' were genius.
my god that "plate" scene was so bloody funny hahaaa yet so sick!
shareMy fave scene is the one in season 1 and its maybe episode 4. Its the one where Cath and sue are outside talking bout Jill then Jill turns up and its very akward sue and Cath who have jst bin talkin bout her. lol. Its funny how Jill always asks Sue:
"How many have you had of them sue"
and Sue always replies like three or four...lol
[deleted]
"I think you'll find divorce has brought your eyebrows down. I see them working better for you 'here' and 'here'......"
:]
Or in Series 2....
"Have you lost weight Linda"
"I don'know"
"That'll be because you had sex with Terry"
"Well, they do say it's very good excerise, don'they?"
"No Linda, the cancer, you've obviously caught it....."
I don't know much but I do know this,
With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.
Get on with some work
It's taken 5 million years for me to realise, I'm not a dinosaur
I like the bit in the 2nd series when she asks the therapist if Glynn is out of the coma, whilst he is sat there next to her.
And when everyone is sat round the table eating dinner and Jill comes into the room in Cath's wheelchair, and says "please ignore me" and then drives it straight into the table....
And again, when Cath asks Jill to pass the pepper, and she just says "no, sorry Cath, its too heavy"....
I just generally find the whole thing hilarous from start to finish to be honest.
I think episode 5 of Series 1:
Jill: "Last night I took a lethal combination of drink and drugs."
Gordon: "What did you take?"
Jill: "Five blister packs of paracetamol and a cup of tea."
What? And no one mentions Cath entering a hallway littered with outrageously overfilled condoms? Or Terry's goodbye party at the hospital? Though I guess with all that, the funeral is kind of a high point "Terry would expect you all to chip in...otherwise it just gets nasty"
shareWhen Terry is eating his food and jill grabs it and puts it into a bag "Don't want to feed the cancer" lmao
shareOkay, have so many favourite scenes!
From series 2, Jill stroking stuart " Hi Stu, how's you?" and then being told to talk dirty to him "Stuarttttt" "naughty!" love it!
I cant belive no one has mentioned this next one.
Sue: Did you ever relise you were living with a monster?
JILL: Love is blind Sue, I'm sure Mrs Sutcliffe had some super days out with Peter, when he was taking a break from Rapeing!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jill to Linderrrrrrr,
Jill: what did you get?
Linda: Twice in the front, once in the back and he gave me a cod!
Jill: Linderrrrrrrrrr!!!!! (Linda hands Jill A fiver) You took £5 for two front bums and a back bumming!??????
I loved the scene where Jill and Linda are in Jill's jeep, driving down to The Trees:
Linda: "Are we on the run Jill?"
Jill: "Yes"
Linda: "Like Bonnie and Tyler?"
LMFAO!!!
any scene with jil, her voice and accent just crack me up.
but i think my favourite is in series 2 episode 1, at the weepy widows.
There are just too many to list. I like Jill's death scene in series two where she passes over to the other side and meets Princess Diana. "She had a pretty dress, made of flowers!". God bless you Jill Tyrell x
'You touched me! Oh God, my flesh is rotting! The touch of Scum!'
Far too many to mention, but the ones that come to mind are from Series 1 The Funeral of Terry when Jill goes on and on and on and on about who abused her, so dark, so amsuing!
Also from Series 1 when Jill is talking to Cath about pretty women and Jill says
"....what the dwarf with a stye?" and cath responds "she's Japanese Jill"
Series 2 the winner for me is the part when Jill is driving Cath and makes her sick by driving so fast. What a Bit*h!
Everything about the Caro Bibbins "Celebrating Celibacy" video: how Jill bought it for Cath and then wanted to "settle up now, otherwise it just gets nasty"; and of course the video itself, with Caro crushing her tits into the guy's head. With such focus it's little wonder that Caro was able to cure herself of a lazy eye ...
shareI love the two parts of the second series:
Firstly when she pretends to be the black lady she ran over.
"...we've just had some really bad summers."
"...I won't report you for being racist."
&
The last ever episode when Jill runs around the back of the ice cream van trying to pass a Toffee Apple off as her baby.
But to be fair it all makes me laugh.
too many to list
"i had diorrhea... i filled the bowl twice"
"that would be because of your parkinsons" "thats just the alzheimers talking"
and glen talking about his ex wife - "she had sex with her dentist..he was very drunk, it was technically rape....but he decided not to press charges"
[deleted]
When in series 2 cath is lying on the sofa with meditation music playing and Jill bashes a saucepan by her head, then says 'sorry Cath did I wake you'
and when Jill is reprimanding Lindur for sleeping with Terry she says 'with all dues respect Lindur, you did lose your virginity to a dog'
I love the whole deadpan delivery of the show and I laugh over and over again at it!
In series 2 Jill gives Don's girlfriend a nosejob by hitting her in the face with a hammer and says "I'll probably get the hang of this as I go along"
And her dinner party in series 1 where she pours milk all over the prawns. Eeewwwww!
Everyone of these is brilliant.
How brilliant is the sentence "The last ever episode when Jill runs around the back of the ice cream van trying to pass a Toffee Apple off as her baby" written down!?
I might as well mention one's not mentioned yet:
Love when Jill hasn't been invited to the dinner party of Cath, Don, Susan and Gordon. So outside she's sends notes through the window on a stick:
"HELLO"
"How your having a nice time"
"Unfortunately it is spotting out here"
Cut to Jill sitting at the table.
Jill: "Thanks for letting me in. Even though Cath didn't want me here..."
AND
In the 2nd series when Jill and Glen are role playing and she smashes a bottle over his head and punches him. Laughed so much!
Can't believe I've only just discovered this show. It's amazing!
[deleted]
1) Terry's funeral is absolutely brilliant, probably a highlight of the show as a whole.
2) Jill inviting Don (and Cath) over for dinner in the first series.
3) Several scenes in the Cole household, after Jill elbows her way in, deciding she can't bare to leave Cath in the state she's in.
Any scene in which Jill and Joy interact, specifically when Jill flicks a pair of scissors at Joy and says, "Sorry, Joy, I thought you were an assailant". Also, in the very first episode when Jill is at the dating agency being shown a profile and she stares at it for ages then says, "...What is that?"
Amazing.
"Four years I've been registered."
"Disabled?"
"No, no, with the dating agency."
[deleted]