I just want people's opinions. In so many movies now we see couples already living together before marriage whether they have a solid relationship or not. I know the couple in this film were averted from the idea of marriage because of their parents' failed marriages but other than that what's the merit in shacking up without being married first?
shareNo it is not out of style to get married first. :) I believe in marriage first and then kids. I know people who believe in that too. So there are still old fashioned people out there. :)
shareI believe in not rushing to marry or have a child with someone just because I'm "old fashioned".
Like when you have some girls who MUST get married and have kids...'cus their time-clock is running out.
"When I feed the poor they call me a saint, when I ask why they're poor they call me a communist."
It is not a matter of style but practicality. You gotta try the car out before you buy it. You dont really know someone until after living with them for a couple of years. After living with them and you still love each other and are compatible then get married if you wish or not. Im sorry doing things the old fashioned way is just not always the most logical.
shareI don`t know... I just don`t feel like a car. I even don`t feel like a customer, not speaking about wares. If you guy really seriously want me (and love me) then marry me or I`ll kick you in the ass and say goodbye. You love me and you will risk it because you trust in our relationship (and I will risk it, too, because I believe you are not a total buttocksaperture) or please go and test another girl (after you knock her up, of course, that`s the basic element). That`s how I see it. Moreover, this "not old fashioned logic" can be painful for the children. How do you explain them that mummy and daddy have different surnames, for example?
Or how do you take out a mortgage on a family house together? (I don`t know how it works in America but here in Central Europe it`s essential to be married to get a mortgage both together because you just split up over night and who will pay it?). I think there will be also many other "paper problems" in your everyday life when you don`t have THAT paper.
And if the car is not good enough after a few years of driving it, you will just replace it easily or switch back to the good old ecological public transport. You can do the same if you are married - you can divorce - but it takes a little more time and effort and therefore it`s not a very suitable option for those who don`t mean it seriously. So if you are looking for a longer series of "serious relationships without a piece of paper" and you would fancy a new partner every 5 years or less, be new fashioned!
If you guy really seriously want me (and love me) then marry me or I`ll kick you in the ass and say goodbye.
Or how do you take out a mortgage on a family house together? (I don`t know how it works in America but here in Central Europe it`s essential to be married to get a mortgage both together because you just split up over night and who will pay it?). I think there will be also many other "paper problems" in your everyday life when you don`t have THAT paper.
And if the car is not good enough after a few years of driving it, you will just replace it easily or switch back to the good old ecological public transport. You can do the same if you are married - you can divorce - but it takes a little more time and effort and therefore it`s not a very suitable option for those who don`t mean it seriously. So if you are looking for a longer series of "serious relationships without a piece of paper" and you would fancy a new partner every 5 years or less, be new fashioned!
saintpaulia,
Its a common expression to describe the situation if you not familiar with it or offended by it you might want to lighten up and get over your self before your inhibitions become all consuming. Here I will explain it in terms without the analogy for you. A commitment with someone is long term if you are married or not. I never mentioned kids and if they were in the picture I seriously doubt they would be defined by their last name. I am sorry but names, titles and labels don’t determine a relationship with anyone be it a child, loved one or significant other. Also, to be quite honest I am not even sure if I want kids but that is besides the point. As for things were you live I don’t know how things work but by the way you describe it makes me really appreciative of what have. Here in the U.S as a woman I don’t have to depend on a man for my livelihood. I am working to get my degree in respiratory care and will make a pretty comfortable living for myself and have good benefits and insurance all on my own. My money will be mine and my also college educated boyfriend's money will be his. Him and I have had this conversation and have both agreed this works for us. As for your other concerns, we can buy a house without being married and we can have sex without getting pregnant (it is called birth control and was invented in the 1940’s I would advise you inform yourself). My relationship is very loving, successful, evolves and changes to best suit what is best for the both of us not what is expected of us. If one day we decide to not be together we will go our separate ways, it happens all the time it is not the end of the world. I am confidant and secure enough in myself to move on and start over which I do not view as a negative thing at all. I seriously doubt you have any idea of the concept at hand if you can not even come to terms that your ideas are antiquated. The way I think may not be your way of thinking and that’s fine everyone is entitled to their own opinion and lifestyle choices but at the end of the day I have someone to come home to, do you?
So are you having a problem with people not going through a religious ceremony or not getting a legal piece of paper? Marriage is not as sacred as people may think. Biggest proof is I am legally able to perform a wedding for two people and I don't go to any organized religion, or work in any public office. I simply registered at a website.
Come visit my blackrosecastle.com
stephentheblackroseenterprises.com
but other than that what's the merit in shacking up without being married first?
First, it is just a Hollywood movie. Secondly, in real life this generation is so scared of their own shadow that they think everyone is going to cross them some time, even their significant other. This is why it is so common for people to marry at the very end. You can have kids, have a house but people are still scared to get married. It doesn't make sense to me. My wife and I had our first child three years after marriage.
shareThe simple answer...you NEVER really know someone until you live with them.