What the hell did I just watch?????

I'd like to know exactly how much crack was smoked before this movie was greenlighted. What the hell was that ending?? Zeus "Tricky Eye" Lister decides to romp with the "I need more makeup to hide I'm getting older" pleasure-bot/not pleasure-bot/pleasure-bot right after his captain bites it, and then that character actor guy that we all know with the euro accent and the lisp pops on and the SHIP BLOWS UP?? What happened to the plan about going to the twin suns? Why the hell was it so easy to kill off a Van Helsing? Nice two thousand year old vampire hunter bloodline, jackass. Did I miss the part where there was a coherent plot, or was that cut out for commericals? I can't wait for Dracula 4000, where I take two cyber-pool cues (it's the future kids, everything's "cyber"), grab my first mate Randall "Tex" Cobb and my pleasure bot Goldie Hawn, and run around my ship that still has steam vents, poorly lighted hallways, and dank pipes, fighting vampires (scratch that - make them "cyber-vampires"), and still have time for my rapper friend DJ Jazzy Jeff to take out his anaconda and do the Humpty Hump over Cyber-Dracula's cyber-pool cued cyber-white ass.