MovieChat Forums > Dracula 3000 (2004) Discussion > The most retarded film, ever? *spoiler*

The most retarded film, ever? spoiler

posted 19 years ago by backwardsgun
11 replies | jump to latest

Ooookey.
I just saw this movie the other night without knowing, from the start, that it was Dracula 3000. It was around 03.30 or something and i had trouble sleeping and thought to myself "gah what ever, it doesn't seem THAT bad".
Sweet mother of god how wrong i was!

Like first of all, the movie is called Dracula 3000 and how many times do they mention Dracula? That's right, not a single time. Why? Because Dracula is not even in this movie! There's just a random white dude in a really bad halloween costume called "Orlock", ha, nice try!

Second, the fact that Casper Van Dien is part of the Van Helsing family mean absolutely nothing becase Dracula, oh sorry, ORLOCK, slaps Van Helsing silly.
Yeah, nice going Vampire Slayer.
Damn you Casper, i really believed in you there around 1997 when Starship Troopes came out.

Anyway, third:
The fact that Orlock came from a planet namned "Transylvania"-something (Eh, kind of obvious name for a vampire planet, dont you think?) and he's the last vampire of his kind and he needs to get back to earth, well what the hell is he thinking when he starts his rampage? I mean, what the *beep* The ship was heading for planet earth damn it!
(Why the hell do vampires have their own planets anyway?)

Hahaha, what's with the ending? Pleasure bot?! Why do the ship explode? Why is the professors weel-chair so damn ugly even though its like 1000years in the future? I mean come on! Even Xavier in X-men has a cool weel-chair!
And the "final battle", HAHAHAHA, WHAT?! Orlock get's his arm cut clean of and screams like the little bitch he his and then? Where did he go? Hahah, man, i laughed my ass of :D

Gaah, i'm just wasting my time getting aggravated by this BS.
I could go on for ever about this movie. Damn.

Back to work now i guess.

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my cham friends"

[–] Jefferson_Spaceplane 19 years ago

You don't really need to describe why this movie is bad. Two words sum it up: Planet Transylvania. Though I did get a good laugh out of this movie.

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[–] chech_dog 19 years ago

this movies is so fawesome
how can you say that?

windchimes are gay.

[–] jazzy15 19 years ago

They had HORRIBLE acting. Coolio & Tiny Lester were cool, but I will NEVER see that movie AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] CasseroleWorshipper 19 years ago

I think a better story idea would've saved this movie's arse, because I think that Dracula and space & spaceships is a damn bad cocktail. :(

[–] mikael0505 19 years ago

Slipknot said it best in their song "Duality."

"I push my fingers in to my EYEEES"

[–] straight_to_video 19 years ago

this movie was so bad, why the hell is it not on bottom 100?

the ending was so retarded, lmao yeah i know wtf pleasure bot?

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] invisible_bluesman 19 years ago

After reading this post I find myself wanting to watch the film.
Does that make me a bad person?
I both have and like the two Guyver films if you want some evidence for the trial by the way.

I just found it on the net for £7.99 but its out of stock so someone must be buying it.

[–] wickedfire 19 years ago

Dammit! I was hoping this was the sequel to Dracula 2000
oh well

She is perfect. Mad; but for these days that is perfect - Armand to Louis concerning Madeleine

[–] movieman_1000 19 years ago

Planet Transylvania? What is it the Rocky Horror Picture Show?