What utter balls.
Why does there have to be a reason for him to be gay or deaf, or for his partner to be black? They just are those things, as they would be in real life - disabled people's lives aren't constant plots revolving around their disabilities. I applaud the director for including characters who just happen to be disabled, gay, BME... It never happens which is a disgrace when you think about it objectively.
They are not horribly mean people - two characters are unpleasant to Meredith fell the outset. One has already met her and doesn't like her, the other is an overly protective mother who knows she is dying and won't be around to support her son when he realises he has made a mistake. They are an incredibly close family unit, due to the difficult situations they have come through together - it's very difficult to break through the walls of a unit like that. It's incredibly astute actually.
I am not deaf, gay or black and I loved this film long before my own mother died of cancer. It sounds like you're a little too shallow to grasp the subtleties of the relationships here, and too focussed on shallow things like race and sexuality to view people as people. I feel sorry for you.
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