The only objection I had to this film was that it made no sense for Ray to have told Mirabelle that he had cheated, unless he was a much more cruel person than he had seemed to have been up to that point.
I watched the deleted scenes on the DVD, and one of them is a sequence wherein Mirabelle, in the course of a simple lunch conversation, tells Ray that if he ever cheats on her he should tell her about it. From her demeanor it is hard to tell if she is being serious or not, but at least it plants a thought in Ray's head that would explain his destructive action later. I would love to know why they deleted this particular scene, which would have provided a foundation for the most mystifying plot point in the version which was released.
(I do intend to read the book to find out whether or not these passages are in the original story.)
Actually that scene (Mirabelle wanting Ray to tell her if he ever cheated) isn't in the book, so I guess they figured they might as well toss it. It's a good book, I always read the book first for any movie...
Actually I have the book and it does mention that she once told Ray that if he ever cheated on her, she'd want to know. But to be honest, I kind of liked the way that in the movie his conscience made him tell her...he knew he'd done the wrong thing & just wanted to be honest with her. Personally, I find the movie to be a vast improvement on the novella. I find that Steve Martin over-explains himself in his book, whereas this movie was much more simple & beautiful.
I didn't realize this was a book. I always try to read the book first because it explains so much more. But then again, if I do happen to not realize that a movie was a book first, I usually find that I need to now read the book to get some questions answered that I had after watching the movie!
Fine, put me on hold. I love listening to the "Music to Kill Yourself By" collection.
Actually I have the book and it does mention that she once told Ray that if he ever cheated on her, she'd want to know. But to be honest, I kind of liked the way that in the movie his conscience made him tell her...he knew he'd done the wrong thing & just wanted to be honest with her. Personally, I find the movie to be a vast improvement on the novella. I find that Steve Martin over-explains himself in his book, whereas this movie was much more simple & beautiful.
That's interesting, classic-movie-lover, because I read his motives a bit differently; to me he didn't really seem to have a very powerful conscience. I got the drift that he told her about his liaison out of curiosity and cruelty: he knew that it would hurt her, but he wanted to see exactly how she would react. I also got the feeling that his jaded, older character may have wanted to inflict some harsh life experience on a much younger, slightly naive person, possibly in a pay-it-forward type of retaliatory action to make up for whatever past emotional injuries that had been inflicted upon him by other women in his past.
He also may have felt somewhat stifled or trapped by an increasingly serious relationship, and his own (subcionsciously?) self-destructive, approach/avoidance tendencies kicked in and decided to spoil it. Anyone his age would have enough romantic experience to know that total honesty is generally unnecessary when it concerns meaningless one-night-stands and the like. I found his motive for such honesty very suspect.
I spent the last few minutes of this movie trying to figure out exactly why he told her, and if they had retained the missing scene I mentioned above, I would at least have had a simple explanation to fit the story without making his character seem to be such a cold, cruel person. But it does sound like I should read the book to try to get some deeper insight into his character! Thanks for posting, c-m-l.
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That's cool, it's interesting to hear different people's opinions of the characters. Ray definitely wasn't the most honest or genuine guy and he was very selfish, so it was pretty out of character for him to tell her when it would obviously only cause trouble... The way I interpreted it was that there was a small part of him that was beginning to care for Mirabelle and he genuinely felt that she should know what he'd done. His character was flawed, but I didn't think he was completely heartless.
I kind of like the way that the characters are so open to interpretation though, and I can definitely see where you're coming from.
Riv said: "Anyone his age would have enough romantic experience to know that total honesty is generally unnecessary when it concerns meaningless one-night-stands and the like. I found his motive for such honesty very suspect."
Are you saying thats you interpret his actions, or thats how you really think people SHOULD act when they do something like that? Im sorry if this offends, but I didnt see it that way either, and it sounds rather....trashy. Granted there are alot of trash out there who think that way, but there are alot of people who dont, or are somewhere in the middle. I think he was in the middle, despite his own thinking that he could be cold/trashy about things like that. Why? I found his motive to be that of simple GUILT--despite his wanting no complications or relationship, he DID care for her. Just watch his expressions the morning after he cheats. Remember the way he looked at the girl laying in his bed? That was before he even heard the message, so he already felt guilty by the time he was putting his shirt on. Then the look he had while cleaning up the wine bottles from the night before...guilt. Same as on the plane: it was eating at him, he felt guilty.
I think the only reason he DID tell her was due to that nagging guilt. It would have kept bothering him, and as he even said about her possible reaction "I thought it would be alright" he also thought her allowing it would alleve this guilt. His character grows in this film as well, b/c he realizes that he is not capable of being as selfish as he wanted to be--it hurts some people, and he doesnt want to be that way. This experience has made it clear, that if hes going to continue on that way, he will have to stay with the shallow & trashy types. Only the likes of Bridget Wilsons character, and 'the Hoe at dinner' (who pushed even further to sleep with him when she saw he might be in love, great nod to LA's often cruel & trashy mentality) are the women he will be able to behave that way with. Not because of the women but rather because of HIM..he has more class than even he realized.
I totally agree that he told her due to the fact that he felt guilty. In fact, he told her the reason that he had told her in a letter was so that he wouldn't be able to back out of telling her the truth. In my honest opinion, that shows that he cared enough to be honest. Also, at the end he actually admits that he had loved her.
Well, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree, horatiohornblower. However, there is no need to be insulting about it; what you label as "trash", I view as a sense of maturity that realizes that not all sexual indescretions are equal, and that they don't all carry the same importance to all humans.
I think it was selfish of Ray to have told Mirabelle merely to assuage his own guilt. Especially since he knew it would hurt her so powerfully, and probably end the relationship. He was, in a sense, choosing to end the relationship then and there. That was apparently what he wanted most: escape from emotional intimacy. (Plus I didn't get the sense that he was really deep enough emotionally to feel such overwhelming guilt, as you have described.)
In the real world, sexual indescretions do occur from time to time, yet they only take on the importance that we ascribe to them. It is up to each of us to decide if they are worth shattering our lives over or not.
The point is that Ray's one night stand was meaningless in the overall 'big picture' of his life, and the mature and sensible choice would have been to have learned from it by deciding not to do it ever again (that would have been the most important aspect of it, if indeed he did intend to continue his relationship with Mirabelle), and then to live on as if it had never happened, because it was so truly meaningless.
As with any other life mistake: trace it, face it, erase it, and move on.
Although he cheated on Mirabelle physically, he did not cheat on her emotionally, and that is what truly mattered in this instance. Honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to love and relationships. A judiciously selective memory can do wonders when it comes to keeping love alive.
You are correct; that is the reason he told her. But he regretted it afterwards.
Sometimes, in theory, it is easy to do something mean to someone. But then when you actually do it, you see the effect it has on them and then you feel sympathy and regret that you you did not anticipate before you acted.
He told her because he felt guilty and thought that telling the truth would alleviate his guilt. He did not want to inflict pain on her, on the contrary, he even thought the whole thing would be all right for her(his words). The reason he did not realize it would cause unnecessary pain was that he was selfish and could only think of alleviating his guilt. Somebody mentioned that in the book the guy is portrayed as inexperienced with relationships(having married young), so that seems like a good reason why he did not realize the damage he would cause.
It seemed to me that Ray "cheated" intentionally. To say one is "cheating" on you implies you have a committed, monogamous relationship. Ray didn't want that and felt he was getting in too deep with Mirabelle so he slept with someone else in order to create the distance he wanted within the relationship.
That scene doesn't fit with Mirabelle's dismay on being cheated on and the scene where Ray says "And you know the funniest thing? I thought it was all gonna be ok".
He thinks that Mirabelle won't care or won't be very hurt by his cheating. He thinks he has to be honest with her but she will instantly forgive him.
He assumes so since, in his head, it wasn't suppossed to be monogamous or permament.
Question; is Rebecca Pidgeon the same woman he sleeps with in Seattle and the same one he shows up at the gallery with? Or are the gynecologist gf and the ex-gf different people?
I've been married for 30 years, so I have a bit of insight into relationships, and I don't think that someone who cheats ever confesses it because they feel guilty. If they felt guilty about it, they wouldn't have done it in the first place. If you love someone, you do not cheat. It's not like he slipped in a puddle and his pecker accidentally slipped into her vagina. Cheating is a pre-meditated act. One can stop before one actually sleeps with the person, then when/if you feel they need to confess, I'd be a lot more inclined to think they were sincerely sorry. I think he did it (confessed) to see how far he could push her.
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