100 Things I learned about Shopgirl

1. You can get any girls you want from a laundromat.
2. Social Inept Moron is not required for love.
3. A woman will love you if you're rich.
4. If you want sex, rent a big house and show her around.
5. To finalize the sex, make sure someone calls so you can get the answering machine.
6. The last place and most important to show any woman is the bedroom. Don't miss this one or no sex.
7. It's possible of have sex without a condom using a Saran wrap. Just insist.
8. If you review this movie Shopgirl, make sure to say You loved the movie.
9. It's o.k. to play with yourself. Make sure she has a binocular to see you playing.
10. To please a woman, ability to hold a meaningful conversation is not required.
11. To please a woman, you can say stupid things about an amplifier which she has no knowledge of.
12. When having sex, train your cat to eat the guy's balls or do something with it.
13. One of the steps to an ideal romance is first to send her gift she already sells at her store.
14. One of the steps to an ideal romance it to get a tour in some rented house before she jumps naked on the bed.
15. If you are perverted on sex for any reason, you can write romance novels such as Steve Martin.
16. Love is about meeting in restaurants only.
17. A good drama is about having no plots.
18. In a good move, regardless of how many affairs he has, he can look good, provided the movie don't reveal his sleazy side.
19. It's not necessary to know why this guy was divorce and maybe abandoned his children for love.
20. With a bad divorce for any reason, being a victim of another separation is quite all right.
21. He may be rich from stealing Brinks, and you need not know where he gets his money from.
22. Being a Logician by occupation can be an extremely lucrative business.
23. You need not know how a Logician by occupation earns his money.
24. If your Steve Martin, you can call any of his movies a comedy, since laughing on his joke is not a prerequisite.
25. Love is all about fancy fonts and doing the "city walk". Cool.
26. A woman may find a relationship meaningful by looking at Signs with unusual Fonts.
27. The way to a woman's heart is to send your favorite Fonts. Mine is TImes Roman, 14 points.
28. You can get the address of any shopgirls through the Saks. All private information can be exposed through freedom of information.
29. Any guys a woman may have sex with is within binocular distance for your watching.
30. A condom if not available, may be borrowed from your neighbors. It can be a used one, but she won't know.
30. If you have nothing to say, just say "I'll meet you at a restaurant this Friday" is sufficient.
31. When you do see her at a restaurant talk about your plans for another restaurant get together.
32. When you really have nothing to say just say you are going away for a week and will see her again.
33. This movie can be adapted to comedy. All you have to do is just look funny.