Jürgen Prochnow and why...
...it is a bad idea to hire a talented Academy Award winning actor for your movie when the rest of your crap cast cannot act. Even sleepwalking though this thing he still exudes more skill than the everyone else combined. By putting one good actor in a cast of bad, it highlights how horrible they are because you cannot help seeing the difference in talent.
And yes, the 'You did this to become immortal/because I want to live forever line is possibly the most unintentionally comedic thing I have ever heard.' No one could intentionally create dialogue that awful. It can only spring forth from the genuinely bad.