I started watching it just an hour ago. I smoked a really nice joint and I was still looking at it thinking what a stupid plot. The plot ain't even the half of it.
It has the most generic soundtrack. This was the thing that captured my attention the most. Everything is just fast strumming guitars and drums like everything is super hardcore, even though it's just shots of cars driving.
It's hilariously bad. Lucy Liu only says something like halfway through the film. The other half of it is filled with 500 CIA/FBI/UFO agent shooting at Lucy Liu. The half of the half where everything on the planet is shooting at her is filled with her shooting back at the guys shooting at her.
I realized I wasn't nearly high enough for this when she started beating 600 pound dudes wearing thick body armor with nothing but those thin riot sticks.
The Flashbacks are the best part. This movie is so bad, it's great.
The plot makes no sense either. Some guy created nanobots that stop your heart, but first had to fake his death and steal the main character's wife, and also fake the death of her husband to her wife so the wife and husband both think each other are dead. There's a kid in the movie, whom Lucy Liu feeds candy to throughout the film. Turns out he has a nanobot in him and has like 5 hours to live.
Then Lucy Liu and Banderas team up and it's explosions and generic rock music in the background for an additional 30 minutes.
A trainyard explodes for 5 minutes because everyone had all the explosives on the planet put there, then bad guys are just walking in the line of fire.
This is just a thought, mind you, but it's probably best not to try to explain the plot of a movie you watched while smoking a joint.
Yes, there are a few plot holes, but when you think about it, there aren't too many movies out there that don't have them.
I actually enjoy this movie enough to watch it semi-regularly, and there's plenty of bigger-budget films with bigger-name actors in them that I won't do that with.
Bit of a turn-off since the last DTV movies I'd seen are Conspiracy with Val Kilmer and Attack Force with Steven Seagal. Both movies were *beep* horrible, ESPECIALLY the Seagal movie!
__________ "Welcome to the middle of nowhere- -the center of everywhere."
I just saw it. Yes, it is THAT bad. You are now listening a relatively mild critic. I love Batman and Robin for it's cheese and I think Twilight is merely mediocre and overrated. Yes, this film is atrocious. Effects are horrible, story makes zero sense, characters have forced development and change their alliances so much you stop caring after awhile... And please don't let me start on the soundtrack. I believe most pornos have better soundtrack, it is THAT painful.
My opinion:
50 shades of Grey - 2/10 LOL (American version) - 2/10 Baby Geniuses 2 - 2/10 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever - 1/10
There is, however, one film worse than this one. It is called Ben and Arthur.