They are characters. I don't really know if actual Sandler has anything romantic going on with actual Tomei, but if we look at the characters, it isn't realistic that a fear-based, nervous, easily irritable, passive-aggressive, manipulative, superficial, fake ásskisser and people-pleaser like Sandler's character could have picked up Tomei's character (although she was not young anymore in this movie).
But then again, if George Costanza could attract Tomei's character in Seinfeld, maybe anything is possible.
That 'make women laugh'-stuff only works to a point; if you don't advance to other things after you have shown to have humor, you will just become a 'clown that makes her laugh' instead of 'the man she desires'.
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