First of all, I want to congratulate you on not buying into the 'thin-is-in,' anorexia culture that exists in the US now. Your family and friends should be commended as well, but it was ultimately you who chose to embrace self-acceptance instead of self-hatred, and I applaud you. That was also the goal of the movie, so... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
As a straight man, I can't explain or excuse the behavior of some loutish men. There are just lots of jerks out there, young lady.
I'll assume that you're somewhat young because, as you'll soon find out, adult guys are pretty open-minded when it comes to women. I'm 37 and I've known a number of 'conventionally' attractive women who have trouble finding good boyfriends, while most of the UNconventionally attractive women I've known have no problem getting dates.
At your age, most guys are mostly interested in dating girls to impress their friends, not long-term relationships. As we get older, we start to look for life partners, and women who will be good mothers to our children. And most guys (the nice ones, anyway) eventually wise up and get sick of shallow women, and become intensely attracted to women like you, women who have "a pretty face and pretty curves and [a lovely] personality." You are a hot commodity, but your value will increase greatly very soon because there are few of you in supply these days.
In addition to their sexy bodies, I'm attracted to shapely women because they also tend to be nicer people than the boyish, wafer-thin skanks who fool themselves into believing that, just because they can buy clothes off the rack, they're special.
But don't make the mistake of waiting for someone to find you. Live your life, pursue the things that interest you, and you'll soon find a guy who feels the same way. Just hang in there.
Whatever you wish for me, I hope you have twice as much.
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lild3v1l
20 years ago
You're right and I think you're outlook is dead on. Thanks for that. It's very much appreciated.
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ken68imdb
20 years ago
That was a quick reply. ;-) You're quite welcome.
Whatever you wish for me, I hope you have twice as much.
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MiniMei
19 years ago
Ken, what a nice guy! Everything you say is, of course, correct, but the fact that you took the time to write and pass on a man's-eye view is so cool, and just proves your point that mature-thinking guys ARE out there.
The movie got it right - the most important thing is that you love yourself, because then everything else you want will follow. There is nothing more attractive and sexy than someone who is confident in their own skin. Being attractive is about the whole package, including the way you look but so much more as well - your interests, your ambitions, your sense of humour, the way you dress, even the way you smell (and I'm talking beautiful perfume here!) - it all adds up to create the lasting impression you make on people.
What some boys/young men don't appreciate is that people change; marrying someone because she's skinny and flawless now is no guarantee she's going to stay that way! Likewise men don't stay the same, but when did you last hear a woman say her man was 'letting himself go' because he lost a little hair from his head and sprouted a few from his nostrils? That's life!
Ken is right - I'm 'curvy' (not huge, but carrying more pounds than I should for my height) and I spent my teens convinced that no-one would ever look at me - and if they did I doubted their sincerity. Then I reached 21 and things turned around completely; the same young men I'd always known were beginning to think about their long-term futures and I suddenly had my pick! The delicious irony of it is that girls' tastes change too; 'hot' was no longer enough. I'm now happily married to a man whose personality made me fall in love with him - his beautiful face is just a happy bonus.
Jimmy in the movie was just gorgeous; boys everywhere could learn a thing or two from him!
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