1.) THIS IS AN ARMY, NOT A RABBLE!
2.) Gentlemen, these deployments are sound.
3.) There won't be any uncomfortable moments when your slave prays with you for freedom.
4.) Newborn babies can write.
5.) A teacher from Maine can become a colonel, without any prior experience in the army or contacts.
6.) Hail, Caesar. We who are about to die salute you.
7) If you want to catch the yankees with their pants down, find a reverend. They know the best shortcuts.
8) Stonewall Jackson had enough faith for two.
9) General Burnside is worth less than a lame horse.
10) If you think the battle is going against your side, better not say anything about it.
"Dutch Beer. Like frenching your sister, you get a short buzz, but it's still gross & plain wrong."
>>>>> 7) If you want to catch the yankees with their pants down, find a reverend. They know the best shortcuts. <<<<<
Actually this would have been true as most preachers were what they called circut riders, most small towns didn't have a preacher rather they had a preacher that traveled a particular route between towns preaching and yes they would have known the shortest route between point a and point b... Judges did the same thing traveling from town to town holding court...
"When you charge, yell like furies!"
share>>>>> 5.) A teacher from Maine can become a colonel, without any prior experience in the army or contacts. <<<<<
A lot of officer's particularly in the North had little or no military training because most of the experienced military officers were from the South and of course joined the Southerners... The politically appointed officer's were not worth the gunpowder to blow them up and the educated Northerners took a while to learn about warfare that's why by 1864 the war started turning plus the fact that the South just didn't have the natural resources (material & men) to engage the North over a long period of time much like the Japanese...
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11.) Texans, for some unknown reason, somehow agreed to serve under the command of a Kentuckian.
12.) General Gregg and General Hill (A.P.) both had some undisclosed unresolved differences with General Jackson, but both were apparently okay with it being that way.
13.) Ted Turner has no rhythm.
14.) Southern Generals don't like their Lemonade too sweet.
15.) Darkies is a patronizing expression.
16.) General Jackson could do a damn fine impression of a horse without embarassment.
17.) Protecting the rear is one of the privileges of general officership.
18.) It was okay that General Jackson got killed because didn't want to live anyhow if the south lost.
19.) Them cadets from VMI don't know how to restrain themselves and stay in formation.
20.) General Jackson liked tobacco a bit too much.
21.) Irish Brigade troops fought better with a little fresh green vegetation in their hats....but hey who doesn't.
22.) If your dad can get you out of a war, the key is to accept his help BEFORE you have a change of heart.
23.) Moving from line of battle into a column of fours is easy. It's doing the opposite that's the pain in the ass.
24.) General A.P. Hill had poor night vision.
Get yer cursor off my spoilers !
23.) Moving from line of battle into a column of fours is easy. It's doing the opposite that's the pain in the ass.
Thats great, I laughed hard at this!
The Bug Abides...
2) If you're going to make a film using reenactors, don't let the FAT GUYS stand in the front. Hire a few skinny young kids to portray the typical Civil War soldier as they were - rail thin and around 20 years old.
after months of living in the woods, fat guys turn skinny.
shareYou DO know Jackson had a Sunday School for Negro slaves?
shareThe ultimate statement in Christian Protestant hypocrisy. Jackson is a perfect example of the Christian slave owner mentality of denial lace with a heavy dose of delusional thinking. Jackson was a confused soul.
here's an interesting fact regarding Jackson and slavery:
"Much of Jackson's education was self-taught. He once made a deal with one of his uncle's slaves to provide him with pine knots in exchange for reading lessons; Thomas would stay up at night reading borrowed books by the light of those burning pine knots. Virginia law forbade teaching a slave, free black or mulatto to read or write, as enacted following Nat Turner's Slave Rebellion in Southampton County in 1831. Nevertheless, Jackson secretly taught the slave to write, as he had promised. Once literate, the young slave fled to Canada via the underground railroad." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewall_Jackson
"only one food for the rest of my life? That's easy, cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
76 - that despite being a fanatical Presbyterian Stonewall Jackson has no objections whatsoever to the idolatrous celebration of Christmas (in the more Presbyterian parts of the Scottish Highlands they still vandalise Christmas trees even today - can't imagine their 1860s Virginian brethren being any different).
77 - that Ted Turner has - or rather had - far more money than sense.
78 - that we owe George Allen's sister a great debt of gratitude for terminating both his political and musical careers.
79 - that John Bell Hood was a frail white-haired 31-year old even before he had every conceivably detachable part of him shot off.
80 - that when exposition demands it every important general in the Confederate army will be conveniently riding along together while their corps and divisions and brigades all apparently fend for themselves.
81 - that with all that unconvincing facial hair and a surprisingly limited supply of surnames Confederate generals are completely incapable of remembering who they are without regularly being re-introduced to each other.
82 - that in the nineteenth century even the simplest statement took at least twice as long to say and was incomplete without at least one biblical or classical quotation (that one is probably true).
"5) Do not have actors wear beards you got from a Halloween store. Force them to grow some facial hair."
Totally agree ... Jackson's beard really looked fake ... I found it very distracting.
24. You can learn this one both from Gods & Generals and Gettysburg. You always want to be the defender when there's a stone wall involved.
25. Jackson can't sing.
26. When someone attacks your home state you have to "give them the cold steel".
27. George Pickett smells like French perfume?
28. There were some colorful uniforms in the Civil War.
29. A cup of "real" can make all the difference when you're pinned down and getting shot at.
30. Once again the Irish get the raw deal.
To the poster who posted about the Irish putting green vegetation in their hats, that vegetation is called boxwood. The Irish did it so that after the battle, they would know who was from the Irish Brigade. In fact, the closest bodies to the stone wall had sprigs of boxwood in their hats - thus the closest Union troops to the stone wall were the Irish.
As a point of fact, my reenactment unit - the 28th Massachusetts of the Irish Brigade - appears twice in this movie - both times in the Fredericksburg scenes. We received the filming schedule and they were to film the Irish Brigade scenes a certain weekend. Everyone packed their cars and drove from New England to Maryland to film, only to find out when they got there that the schedule had changed, and they were now filming the 20th Maine's charge. The following weekend was the Irish Brigade scenes. If you look closely, you can see the same reenactors in both scenes.
Another point to mention is that the Irish Brigade color bearer in the scenes is a member of my group, which is interesting, seeing as the 28th Massachusetts was the only Irish Brigade regiment to have a green flag at Fredericksburg, as all the other regiments flags were in NYC being repaired by Tiffany and Company.
Cool info. Bummer how they shifted schedules on y'all. Totally uncool.
Putting things in caps as identifiers was common throughout history. Reminds me now, always, of a Pratchett story. Of the old soldier reminiscing how they found some pheasants, ate them then put their feathers in their caps. They became known as the Pheasant Pluckers....and their song was a bit tricky to sing....
31. if you have your arm blown off in battle you still have to locate your commander and ask permission to fall back.
32. never send food to the starving Irish because they will one day come to the town that sent it and destroy it.
33. keeping in a straight line when the enemy is shooting at you is not easy.
34. its ok for the flanking forces to be off guard because the enemy never tries to out flank your army at the end of the day.
35. there is always time for a lovely Yuletide Christmas in war.
36. when jonesing for coffee its ok to expose yourself and ask your enemy if he wants to trade, then meet him mid-stream.
37. americans don't like to make war in winter.
38. when a fellow soldier has a premonition he's going to die in the next battle, believe him, stay close, so you can take his money.
39. even after years of marching in the heat all over the south you will still be grossly overweight in the infantry.
40. even after being shot down dead on the battlefield you are still expected to be of service to your fellow soldiers.
41. its always just plain courteous to ask the dead if they are indeed dead before you use them as a sand bag.
42. always shoot at anything that moves at night. shoot first, ask questions later.
43. the northern lights sometimes appear at night after a battle in the south.
44. always salute Ceasar before you are about to die.
45. horses are always amazingly quiet when sneaking up on the enemy.
46. lame horses can be offered up in trade for generals so never shoot them and eat them.
47. you don't have to keep your canon loaded and ready to fire in the event of a surprise attack at the end of the day.
48. Negro slaves might have a hard time waking at 04:00.
49. Negro slaves study Napoleon.
50. Negro slaves are master chefs.
"only one food for the rest of my life? That's easy, cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
51. you do not cheer an officer. you salute him.
52. volunteers from Maine became good marksmen because they hunted deer.
53. the line of battle consists of two lines of men, one behind the other. when one line fires, the other reloads.
54. it is not difficult to move from line of battle to column of fours.
55. there's never any shortage of enemies.
56. always leave your house slaves (and their children) at home when your town is attacked so that you are guaranteed to still have food in the pantry when your family returns.
57. generals should never stand close to canon.
58. it must really suck having a teacher as a commander who is always reciting obscure ancient verse just before battle.
59. soldiers who fight from behind stone walls usually get shot in the head.
60. never ignore the unknown or unpredictable in war.
61. grossly overweight dead soldiers make the best sand bags.
62. Christian soldiers should always pray over dieing atheist soldiers to piss them off just before they die.
63. Lincoln wrote some rather pathetic thanks to his troops after battles.
64. the bible gives examples of official battle reports and traces the victories to the right source, the blessings of God.
65. it's not a good idea for diseased ravaged troops and officers to mingle with the civilian population.
66. Civil War soldiers had USO entertainment.
67. deserters get captured, a court martial with a fair hearing, are condemned to death and then shot in full view of their fellow soldiers. regardless, enlistments are down and desertions are up.
68. Congressman retire with fat war profits.
69. an army is power. its entire purpose is to coerce others.
70. war and slavery are the same thing. it is the systematic coercion of one group of men over another.
"only one food for the rest of my life? That's easy, cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
71. Christian artillery soldiers christen their new Howitzers after Jesus' apostles; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. (Blessed are the peacemakers.)
72. Christian artillery soldiers do their utmost to spread the gospel wherever they encounter the enemy.
73. If the North triumphs it is not only the destruction of our property, it is the prelude to anarchy, infidelity,the ultimate loss of free and responsible government on this continent. It is the triumph of commerce, the banks, factories. (How true has this proven to be prophetic.)
74. The cavalry tries to wait.
75. Christian soldiers that think their God is always on their side are in denial, delusional, and crazy.
"only one food for the rest of my life? That's easy, cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
76. A five year old little girl can steal the heart of a stoic army general.
share[deleted]
84. Even the worst movies can find an audience.
There is a man...he travels fast...he has purpose...he brings violence and destruction.
85. During the Civil War, everybody talked like they were giving a history lecture.
"You can dish it out, but you got so you can't take it no more." - Caesar Enrico Bandello
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87. Some soldiers had more than one life to give for their country.
88. Some even served both sides during the same battle - sometimes shooting at themselves.
[deleted]
89. Despite being a resident of the NORTH Pole, Santa Claus obviously supported the South - otherwise what the hell were his elves doing with guns at Fredericksburg?
How do you like that piece of satire?
90. Acording to Gen. Jackson the answer to most of life problems is GIVE THEM DA BAYONET!
"Dadinho é o CARALHO! Meu nome agora é Zé Pequeno PORRA!"
100 Things we learned from the movie, Gods and Generals
1.) THIS IS AN ARMY, NOT A RABBLE!
2.) Gentlemen, these deployments are sound.
3.) There won't be any uncomfortable moments when your slave prays with you for freedom.
4.) Newborn babies can write.
5.) A teacher from Maine can become a colonel, without any prior experience in the army or contacts.
6.) Hail, Caesar. We who are about to die salute you.
7) If you want to catch the yankees with their pants down, find a reverend. They know the best shortcuts.
8) Stonewall Jackson had enough faith for two.
9) General Burnside is worth less than a lame horse.
10) If you think the battle is going against your side, better not say anything about it.
11.) Texans, for some unknown reason, somehow agreed to serve under the command of a Kentuckian.
12.) General Gregg and General Hill (A.P.) both had some undisclosed unresolved differences with General Jackson, but both were apparently okay with it being that way.
13.) Ted Turner has no rhythm.
14.) Southern Generals don't like their Lemonade too sweet.
15.) Darkies is a patronizing expression.
16.) General Jackson could do a damn fine impression of a horse without embarrassment.
17.) Protecting the rear is one of the privileges of general officership.
18.) It was okay that General Jackson got killed because he didn't want to live anyhow if the south lost.
19.) Them cadets from VMI don't know how to restrain themselves and stay in formation.
20.) General Jackson liked tobacco a bit too much.
21.) Irish Brigade troops fought better with a little fresh green vegetation in their hats....but hey who doesn't.
22.) If your dad can get you out of a war, the key is to accept his help BEFORE you have a change of heart.
23.) Moving from line of battle into a column of fours is easy. It's doing the opposite that's the pain in the ass.
24. You can learn this one both from Gods & Generals and Gettysburg. You always want to be the defender when there's a stone wall involved.
25. Jackson couldn't sing.
26. When someone attacks your home state you have to "give them the cold steel".
27.
28. There were some colorful uniforms in the Civil War.
29.
30. Once again the Irish get the raw deal.
31. If you have your arm blown off in battle you still have to locate your commander and ask permission to fall back.
32. Never send food to the starving Irish because they will one day come to the town that sent it and destroy it.
33. Keeping in a straight line when the enemy is shooting at you is not easy.
34. It’s ok for the flanking forces to be off guard because the enemy never tries to out flank your army at the end of the day.
35. There is always time for a lovely Yuletide Christmas in war.
36. When jonesing for coffee it’s ok to expose yourself and ask your enemy if he wants to trade, then meet him mid-stream.
37. Americans don't like to make war in winter.
38. When a fellow soldier has a premonition he's going to die in the next battle, believe him, stay close, so you can take his money.
39. Even after years of marching in the heat all over the south you will still be grossly overweight in the infantry.
40. Even after being shot down dead on the battlefield you are still expected to be of service to your fellow soldiers.
41. It’s always just plain courteous to ask the dead if they are indeed dead before you use them as a sand bag.
42. Always shoot at anything that moves at night. shoot first, ask questions later.
43. The northern lights sometimes appear at night after a battle in the south.
44. Always salute Ceasar before you are about to die.
45. Horses are always amazingly quiet when sneaking up on the enemy.
46. lame horses can be offered up in trade for generals so never shoot them and eat them.
47. you don't have to keep your canon loaded and ready to fire in the event of a surprise attack at the end of the day.
48. Negro slaves might have a hard time waking at 04:00.
49. Negro slaves study Napoleon.
50. Negro slaves are master chefs.
51. you do not cheer an officer. you salute him.
52. volunteers from Maine became good marksmen because they hunted deer.
53. the line of battle consists of two lines of men, one behind the other. when one line fires, the other reloads.
54. it is not difficult to move from line of battle to column of fours.
55. there's never any shortage of enemies.
56. always leave your house slaves (and their children) at home when your town is attacked so that you are guaranteed to still have food in the pantry when your family returns.
57. generals should never stand close to cannon.
58. it must really suck having a teacher as a commander who is always reciting obscure ancient verse just before battle.
59. soldiers who fight from behind stone walls usually get shot in the head.
60. never ignore the unknown or unpredictable in war.
61. grossly overweight dead soldiers make the best sand bags.
62. Christian soldiers should always pray over dying atheist soldiers to piss them off just before they die.
63. Lincoln wrote some rather pathetic thanks to his troops after battles.
64. the bible gives examples of official battle reports and traces the victories to the right source, the blessings of God.
65. it's not a good idea for diseased ravaged troops and officers to mingle with the civilian population.
66. Civil War soldiers had USO entertainment.
67. deserters get captured, a court martial with a fair hearing, are condemned to death and then shot in full view of their fellow soldiers. regardless, enlistments are down and desertions are up.
68. Congressman retire with fat war profits.
69. an army is power. its entire purpose is to coerce others.
70. war and slavery are the same thing. it is the systematic coercion of one group of men over another.
71. Christian artillery soldiers christen their new Howitzers after Jesus' apostles; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. (Blessed are the peacemakers.)
72. Christian artillery soldiers do their utmost to spread the gospel wherever they encounter the enemy.
73. If the North triumphs it is not only the destruction of our property, it is the prelude to anarchy, infidelity,the ultimate loss of free and responsible government on this continent. It is the triumph of commerce, the banks, factories. (How true has this proven to be prophetic.)
74. The cavalry tries to wait.
75. Christian soldiers that think their God is always on their side are in denial, delusional, and crazy.
76. A five year old little girl can steal the heart of a stoic army general.
83. A very crude matte painting of Fredericksburg can be made to look even less realistic by having CGI crows flying over it.
86. Good movies can be underrated
87. Some soldiers had more than one life to give for their country.
88. Some even served both sides during the same battle - sometimes shooting at themselves.
89. Despite being a resident of the NORTH Pole, Santa Claus obviously supported the South - otherwise what the hell were his elves doing with guns at Fredericksburg?
90. According to Gen. Stonewall Jackson the answer to most of life problems is “YOU MUST GIVE THEM DA BAYONET!.. DA BAYONET!”