what did she mean?

Your English is good, no need to apologise.

I think she means that that moment, in which she remembers being happy, seemed at the time like it was the start of a period of happiness for her that she thought would last forever, but when she looks back it seems more like an isolated event.

I think the film and novel are kind of about how your life is made up of moments, of hours, but they don't necessarily fit into a narrative. Clarissa was happy that time, and she thought that happiness was going to characterise her life, but it didn't work out that way. I don't think, though, that she would describe her life as being characterised by sadness either, if she was to think about it, despite the hard things that she has been through. They're all moments, and they make up your life, and you can't know happiness without knowing sadness. She's not lost happiness, just come to realise that it isn't a permanent state of mind. But accepting that you cannot simply be happy all the time is accepting life for what it is for most people: a bit of a mixed bag.






"Reality is the new fiction they say, truth is truer these days, truth is man-made"

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Hi mshary10 (OP) —

I just watched THE HOURS again for the first time since its release ten years ago, and was moved the most on this viewing by the scene you refer to. I have to say that my reaction to the film on this second viewing was very different from my first. I didn't connect with the film at all the first time. This time, at age 50 (single gay male, New York City), looking back on a decade of wonderful and not so wonderful moments in life, and perhaps a bit confused at the moment about where I've been and where I'm going, I felt the film was written especially for me. Like Virginia, I'm a writer struggling with my gift; like Laura, I am disconnected from what others expect from me; and like Clarissa, I am going through the motions of life, skimming over it, afraid to attach too strongly to anything or anyone, knowing that all things will inevitably be lost. Luckily, at my age I've felt lost enough times to know that I will find my way again, and I hope that you understand that too. In fact, the scene you refer to (Clarissa discussing "possibility" with her daughter) struck me as very positive — that Clarissa's realization isn't that happiness has passed (something I also tend to often feel), but that each day we're alive IS happiness — the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the losses and the gains, the big moments and the small — that accepting the flow and connectivity of it all IS happiness. Maybe one of the magical things about David Hare's screenplay (I haven't read Michael Cunningham's novel, but now I want to) is that we each bring and take away what we need from the film, and may bring and take away different things at different times. (In one of the DVD extras, director Stephen Daldry says that this was one of the hopes of the filmmakers — and judging from my two very different reactions, ten years apart in life, I believe they succeeded amazingly.) [Also, a side-note: As a playwright, I am familiar with David Hare, and the bedroom scene you've asked about reminds me very much of themes in two other wonderful works of his — PLENTY and WETHERBY. I recommend the exceptional film version of each, and I will be curious to see if the discussion of "past happiness" in THE HOURS was Hare's addition or was original to the novel. I suspect the former.]

Anyhow, I don't usually take these boards seriously (ten years ago, when they started, it was a fascinating place to discuss film, but it's unfortunately devolved — as the entire internet has — into a giant troll party — — and there I am, looking back again!), but I felt very compelled to respond to your very touching post.

Cheers, friend! (And your English is excellent!)

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This is a great thread. I, too, pine for the past to the point were it affects my present, but I'm slowly getting better and becoming aware of the 'romanticism' that has been mentioned. The past is a comfort.

Also, my friend told me a quote lately: happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

I think it's a beautiful quote and says a lot about people's almost aggressive pursuit of happiness. Just ride the wave of life, experience, test yourself, grow, learn, be brave and one day the spark you had a couple of years ago will unexpectedly return and you'll smile to yourself.

Then... speak of the devil and the devil appears.

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‎"I remember one morning getting up at dawn... there was such a sense of possibility... and I remember thinking to myself, 'This is the beginning of happiness, this is where it starts and of course there will always be more.' It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning, it WAS happiness." - Clarissa Vaughn

The way I interpret the text, is that she's looking forward to the future, in which she expected to be happy or happier, but forgot to live in the presence and enjoy the moments she had then. One of the tag lines for the film is, Live in the moment. I think that was based on Clarissa's monologue.

She does take care of Richard, who's one of her closest friends - and who once was her lover. I'm not sure if she tries to find happiness by caring for him, but it does consume a lot of her free time and makes her neglect her partner, Sally.

As for your personal situation: there's not always a clear reason why we feel how and what we feel. Sometimes you can feel unhappy and depressed and there's no clue as to why you suddenly experience these emotions. If it persists, you might want to see your doctor who can refer you to a psychologist; it might help just to talk to someone professional, speak up what's on your mind. Such sessions might help you find out why you feel the way you do.

And your English is good! I could easily understand your message and questions! Of course, you make mistakes, but who doesn't? I'm not a native English speaker either and sometimes (well, more often than not, to be fair) I mess up terribly - but that's something to learn from.

I do sincerely hope you feel better soon. All the best!

A flood's not the answer, people just float.

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I just saw the movie for the second time and had written those very lines down to ponder. So I was delighted to find your comments.

I thought she was sharing with her daughter some hard-won wisdom: to be in the moment, to stay in the moment, to savor the moment. That when she was young, she looked beyond the moment, made a prediction.

You must honor joy when it arrives, when it is there, as it is there, while it is there. I saw it as a spiritual insight. As when her daughter said “all your friends are sad”. When Clarissa is with Louis, another of Richard’s exs, she breaks down and cries – because she knows that the end is near for her beloved, and even though imperfect, this is the end of another happiness. We see Louis as normal, but her daughter, who is a witness, describes him as weird. Richard says ”Like that morning, when you walked out of that old house and you were, you were eighteen, and maybe I was nineteen. I was nineteen years old, and I'd never seen anything so beautiful. You, coming out of a glass door in your early morning, still sleepy. Isn't it strange, the most ordinary morning in anybody's life? I love you. I don't think two people could have been happier than we've been.” Just before he kills himself.

So we’re left with another thought - to break us out of nostalgia, because that past perfection is only perfect in retrospect, it only seems perfect from a distance. Had he allowed himself to live beyond the moment, he might have realized the happiness of the award, acclaim, the love the pulled ex lovers from all over the globe to come honor him, all the caring, not unlike the cake his mother made, to offer up proof. But alas, all proof is external, we have to somehow realize, in the moment, that this is the best moment, because it is now. I wish you health and healing, balm and comfort. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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