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Weak attempt to induce sympathy for Laura


Of the three characters who check out of their lives (either by committing suicide or leaving), the character of Laura should have been an illustration of the times when it is done most thoughtlessly and selfishly, most unjustifiably leaving deep scars behind. Virginia suffered from mental illness. Richard had endured quite a bit and the thought of no future for him and had stayed for Clarissa’s sake (a friend, it should be noted, and not family) beyond the point at which he’d have wanted to check out.

But Laura? There’s the idea that while she may have the perfect life in society’s view and by its standards, in reality all is not quite well. She seems discontented with her role as wife and mother. This is understandable, but we’re not given specifics that drive the feeling which pushes her to such extreme action. And let’s not neglect that contrarily to Virginia or Richard, it was her decision to subscribe to that life, as far as we know. Even if we can imagine some societal expectations at the time to marry, to have children, it was still a decision on her part to meet them, along with the responsibilities they entail. And she could have had it much, much worse than being married to a loving husband. I don’t hold the absolute opinion that responsibilities = you stay alive full stop, but in this particular case, she had no right to cause that distress and pain around her, specifically in her attempted suicide (but even in leaving her family with no notice or explanation to them). She was insensitive to Richard’s ordeal on that day she took him with her in the car. And by what right was she ending the life of an unborn child that is not only hers but her husband’s too?

Her storyline should have been a potent cautionary tale about the hurt left in the wake of certain thoughtless, selfish suicides/walk-outs (with the other two contrasting storylines serving not to make the movie a simplistic anti-suicide piece). Yet in the ending scenes, it’s mishandled by a failed attempt to induce sympathy for her. First, she’s announced by Clarissa’s daughter as “the monster”, and this is followed by a scene clearly meant to make the audience rethink that label. Except, it’s pathetic. She’s given a half-baked speech about having had no choice, that her life was “death” and her decision was about “what she could bear”. Wow. Try living under the daily threat of domestic abuse and see what it is to really bear something. In any case, if she felt so strongly about it she had to act before marrying, or certainly before having a kid, then getting pregnant with a second one. In the end, she’s offered a cup of tea and a good-night hug by Clarissa’s daughter, who had called her a monster. That’s the shift we’re also expected to make, presumably. I don’t mind an act of kindness to anyone, any person at all, but in drama, scenes are drawn in particular ways for a reason. In this case, it’s not just about offering a low-spirited visiting woman tea and a hug; it extends to an evaluation of that woman’s actions which were discussed in the preceding scene. Because she said with self-awareness “no one is going to forgive me”, then Clarissa’s daughter does in a way, the filmmakers/novelist are asking us: “Won't you?”. And it doesn’t work.

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Agreed.

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I agree that Laura's story was unmoving, especially as nothing in the film indicated exactly what was wrong (clinical depression/anxiety? unhappiness caused by living a lie of who she was and who she desired? un-fulfillment from lack of significant work outside the roles of wife and mother?), and the story does have an odd end with the hug and the cup of tea, but I wonder if those are the problems of a storyteller who assumed the audience had more information than they did.

I like to think of Laura's story as the quandary people find themselves in when both answers to the problem of their identity/mid-life crisis are wrong. Laura certainly had a right to leave her family, but I think it was wrong to do it. But that's from a perspective of not really understanding the inner workings of a character. If Laura was so upset with her life that she was considering ending it, maybe some drastic changes did need to be made.

Really, all evidence points to the fact that Laura loved her son immensely. She only snaps at him once, despite being at a breaking point all day; she cries at what she thinks is the last time she'll ever see him; and she stays engaged with him through her day, rather than just send him outside to play.

No one commits suicide to simply escape responsibility; they do it because every aspect of their existence is too painful to bear anymore.

All of this is not to say that a mother abandoning her child is not a terrible thing, or that Richard didn't have some serious issues from his mother leaving. Calling her a monster seems mild when considering the outsize hurt that would have caused.

But it seemed to me that Laura was convinced she could only improve her situation by leaving it, and so took the best of a lot of bad options by waiting until the second baby was born before walking out the door.

I wish she had a heart-to-heart talk with her husband, started an affair with the neighbor woman, or just bought all her baked goods from then on; whatever it took to make her happy and able to love and support her children. I like to think that I would be strong enough to do that in that situation. But the fact is, not everyone is capable of everything, and it would be wrong for the audience to dismiss her as weak or cruel without walking a mile in her shoes.

Ultimately, people do *beep* things, even when they don't want or mean to. Working through the anger of what we perceive has been done to us is an unavoidable part of life; whether it's a child learning not to throw a tantrum over a denied toy, or an adult learning to let go of the hurt from mistakes their parents made.

More than anything, we should be sad for Laura that she had such a hard time with her life (another issue I have with the character is that we don't even know if leaving her family allowed her to be happy, or if her misery extended into old age), and hopeful that her husband, the babysitter, and even Bug himself were able to step up and fill the hole she left.

Watching characters struggle with situations like Laura's are what creates a story, and allows us to learn about tough things before we have to face them ourselves.

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Oh, come on... Laura was nothing more than a coward who was too afraid to confront her husband and tell him she didn't love him anymore and wasn't happy with the life they were living.

I'm never going to feel sad for someone who's prepared to ruin the lives of those who depend on her in an effort to find some happiness. If doing something like that really brings her any form of happiness, then she really is the monster everyone says she is.

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pretty sure her depression came from her being a closet lesbian, remember she kisses the kitty character & then asks "you didnt mind?"

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[deleted]

I agree. In the novel it's actually much clearer but somehow didn't translate it well on the screen. On the contrary, I saw Clarissa as being a whiner in the book but Meryl did such a brilliant job bringing her to life on the screen.

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