ALL 6 OPENING POEMS!
EP1: When dancing, lost in techo trance, arms flailing, gawky Bez, then find you snagged on frowns, and slowly it dawns, you're jazzing to the bleep tone of a life support machine that marks the steady fading of your day old baby daughter. And when midnight sirens lead to blue flash road mash, stretchers, covered heads and slippy red macadam, and find you creeping 'neath the blankets, to snuggle close a mangle bird, hoping you soon too will be freezer drawed. Then welcome. Mmm, ooh chemotherapy wig. Welcome. In Jam, Jam, Jam, Jam, Jaaaaam
EP2: When roped to concrete and noose your bauble for car-powered head divorce. Then find your scheme all twunted by a Honda. And when all your taxi journeys come to this. Then welcome mmm Ooh, astonishing sod ape, welcome, in jam jam! jam! jam! jam! jaaaaaaaaam!
EP3: When walk to work all swig-faced, six months since you clowned it up and old friends cross the street and no one pays you any heed, except...... the dung breathed men, who often now will pick you up, and van you to the fens to wrestle pigs. Then welcome, mmm, ooh-heh, welcome In jam, jam! jam! jam! jam! jam! jaaaaaam!
EP4: When shake your head at local paper story of a crime git, then look again and see that he is you, this long-lens shifty bugger in a park. When every call destroys your life, even though the phone ain't got a bloody plug. And when waking wonder where you are, and find that most of you is asking where you've gone. then welcome. mmm, you arrested for copying dogs, welcome, in jaaaaaam!
EP5: When surface from a four-day crash, bluebottle gobbed, and hear the children calling...... and rize to find they've roped your guts, so, you jessie. They crown you king cantaloupe and gob you up a synapse bomb. So now, you hooting bletherskate, not clocking you've been prammed to serenade the door of your ex-wife....... where pierced on glares of ice you fold to weeping topple. Then find you've wandered back to school and frit the squabs, and now here comes a teacher with a copper. The welcome, mmm, ooh fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss. welcome in jaaaaaam!
EP6: When dreadful duty leads you to the place where you have stored it. And when you walking dog call the children 'He wont bite", then see them run, deranged by what your dragging round, and have been since you found him eyeless, stiff and putrid after seven months of, "oh, i wonder where hes got to?" the welcome, mmm, who born dead through your own arse, welcome, in jaaaaaaam!