MovieChat Forums > Gilmore Girls (2000) Discussion > Slut shaming on GG

Slut shaming on GG

posted 8 years ago by isabellaconnor
63 replies | jump to latest

The treatment of Shane on Gilmore Girls is horrendous, especially when one takes into account that Rory and Lorelai are supposedly meant to be feminists. When Rory says 'girls like Shane...what is it with them. Don't they see what they look like. I know they have mirrors' I'm lost for words. What does that even mean? Granted, she's jealous, but it does reveal something really nasty about Rory's mindset. Shane wears very tight jeans and blouses that emphasise her figure...so what. Lorelai (especially in the early seasons) often dresses that way. Shane is kissing Jess in a very public space...so what. Rory has no problem kissing Dean against a tree in one episode. She has no issue with kissing Jess behind Dean's back. Rory acts so virtuous but her behaviour is actually much worse than the women she constantly slut-shames and criticises. Shane didn't cheat on Jess, nor did Paris sleep with Asher when he was married.

Her jealousy isn't an excuse. Even Lorelai was weird about Shane, referring to her a freak in one episode for no reason. Both Gilmore Girls a weird attitude towards other women who are supposedly taking 'their' men.

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

It seems like they're feminists only when it comes to them, and all other women can burn.

[–] nclpllm 8 years ago

This is exactly what it seems like, and I don't necessarily mean slut-shaming, or their treatment by Rory and Lorelai, as much as the way they are portrayed on the show. The tertiary women, the non-Gilmore's (& friends) are clearly supposed to be inferior in every way. There are a few exceptions- Rachel, Nicole. Ann is, for some reason, Lorelai-ish. Bobbi- though I assume the S7 writers didn't get the memo that other women aren't supposed dazzle the men in the room, or have brains. Of course, we had to hear Rory's whining about it.

Like someone else said, Lorelai and Rory are ASP's wish-fulfillment characters. One of the biggest flaws of the show, in my opinion, since it affected so much.

[–] GinaRenee 8 years ago

Yes, you're right. At least by the time they got to Bobbi, though, Rory realized she was being an idiot. So maybe there was a bit of growth there. But the treatment of Shane was just awful from start to finish.

[–] bjamzilla 8 years ago

Yeah, they never said they were feminist, but I agree. Shane was an innocent party.

Wildcattin'...Wildcattin'. Pow! I'm gonna go.

[–] ChatAndCut 8 years ago

Yep agree with this.

Really annoyed me as well when Lorelai overheard Paris telling Rory she had lost her virginity and Lorelai talking to hersel saying 'I got the good kid' or something like that.

The notion that indulging in safe sex is somehow considered 'bad' and an overall indicator of the persons moral character is so unbelievably dated and I kind of expected more from Lorelai..

[–] blondiebear_17 8 years ago

Rory was just jealous and Lorelai was just her sidekick she was feeding off her vibes. I don't really see the big deal I mean they had a bad attitude about Shane but the Gilmore Girls were never really self proclaimed feminists and we all know they are both prone to immaturity. This is not at all out of character for them so why it's shocking I have no idea. I mean Rory is a teenage girl thats always gotten everything she wanted and been put on a pedestal and Lorelai was no stranger to being mean and petty. They talk behind peoples backs all the time.

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

That line about the 'good kid' is just THE WORST. Not just out of character, but mind-mindbogglingly hypocritical because Lorelei herself jumped from 1 sexual partner to another and back ALL THE DAMN TIME:

Max
Chris
Luke
Jason
Possibly Alex

Which is perfectly fine, but is really disingenuous in a slut-shaming context.

[–] LoBo_77018 8 years ago

Don't you think that's just human nature? I can justify my actions HOWEVER I'm mad at you so everything you do makes me mad.

Just like when you're mad at a coworker and everything about them makes you mad. You blow up because they didn't refill the paper in the printer when you're really mad because they didn't invite you to lunch.

[–] stayalivein85 8 years ago

Just like when you're mad at a coworker and everything about them makes you mad.

This is exactly how I feel about Chris. When I first watched the show, I probably just didn't want him to end up with Lorelai, and in every rewatch I notice things I don't like because I'm determined to not like him anyway.

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Still shopoholic, just wearing a new T-shirt

[–] bluesheartedlady 8 years ago

I didn't think that the "I got the good kid" line was entirely about who was a virgin and who wasn't. Partially, I think it had to do with the fact that she thought Rory was just like her and probably was worried that she would end up down the same path she'd gone down. Aside from that, I think she was also referring to the fact that she essentially had just gotten affirmation that her daughter wasn't lying to her when she said she was still a virgin.

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

Lorelai's attitude towards sex and women that have it, I think, makes little sense. She was clearly a sexual person so it was always strange when she acted mortified or bemused by others' attitudes towards sex.

As for Shane, Lorelai calls her a freak after she almost collides with her trying to get to Jess. It is definitely a poor choice of word however it, to me, seems like a moment of humility for the two Gilmore Girls when Rory's nasty streak is brought to the surface and Shane later calls Rory a freak. Shane, is a freak. She is very big on PDA but then jumps in a closet when Luke enters his apartment. It isn't normal behaviour.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] super-staff 8 years ago

She is very big on PDA but then jumps in a closet when Luke enters his apartment. It isn't normal behaviour.

I always theorized that the reason she hid is because of Luke. Dude seems intimidating, and it's possible she's seen him chew Jess out or act gruff around Stars Hollow. I'd probably be the same way if I were in her shoes.

[–] tlb1996 8 years ago

I remember in Season 1, during the Rory and Dean break up, Rory thinks Dean has moved on to a 'slutty girl who does slutty things' or something like that.

Granted, they never claim to be feminists, but that's just not an okay way to talk about another person. Especially Rory, who is suppose to be all sweet and nice to everyone.

[–] kathykato 8 years ago

Rory certainly wasn't nice to Shane when she went into the store where Shane was working and was rude to her. With the exceptions of Lane, Paris, and later on Lucy and Olivia, Rory was not nice to other girls. Actually, she wasn't nice to Lucy either because of her dishonesty regarding Marty.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

Basically if Rory perceived another woman as a threat then all bets were off. It's crazy to watch because in all of those situations, the girls that she found so threatening were placeholders for her minus Bobbi. Jess only dated Shane to make her jealous and same with Dean dating Lindsay. Rory had in for the blondes on this show lol.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] super-staff 8 years ago

Rory certainly wasn't nice to Shane when she went into the store where Shane was working and was rude to her.

Shane was being awful, though. She was taking on the phone with Jess, ignoring her and Lane, then began to roll her eyes while serving her. I get that most of Rory's hostility was more out of jealousy but still. Shane wasn't just a wide eyed innocent in that scenario either. Nobody would like a cashier who acted that way.

A better example would be Rory loudly badmouthing Lindsey at Doose's, who also overheard it. At least Lindsey knew better than to throw a fit in response.

[–] kathykato 8 years ago

I remember that scene where Shane was talking on the phone instead of waiting on Rory. But I also remember another scene when Rory was just rude for no reason--was it when she was buying dye for Lane's hair? Or maybe I'm getting confused and it was all one encounter. At any rate, Rory was just awful to her even if Shane was rude by talking on the phone.

[–] rainbow26 8 years ago

I agree that Rory's treatment of Shane was appalling. Shane did absolutely nothing wrong, Jess was single and Rory had no claim over him.

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

No, she wasn't but Rory was a jealous 17 year old who had thought Jess liked her enough to wait around for her all summer. Let's remind ourselves that we've all been young and sometimes matters of the heart aren't handled well.

Saying that, I've often felt that Lorelai and Rory are the same character (Amy Sherman) and that they exist purely as wish fulfillment.

However, Rory was never rude to Lindsay. What she said in Doose's market was legitimate despite being a poor location to air her grievance. If we go back to season 3, Lindsay was cold to Rory. Rory was the one who made the effort to get to know Lindsay at the party. As for the affair, I know I can't cast any stones. I think her choosing to write a letter was foolish. I think, though, that at 19 and at university and a virgin, when a guy who looks like Dean (who you used to date and who you know is a good guy) makes his feelings known, you aren't always going to make good decisions. And in the moment, it's more than easy to convince yourself that it's not how it seems.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

The person I replied to was talking about Rory's rudeness towards Shane and then Lindsay. Rory was never rude to Lindsay, she was rude to Shane.

As for sleeping with a married man, people use affairs as an excuse to end a relationship. It doesn't acquit either party but Dean was unhappy within his marriage and sleeping with Rory was his way out. I found it ridiculous that he threw a bitch fit at Rory when she goes around to see him on her return from Europe. He cheated on his wife. Twice! Was he not expecting to be found out? Was he going to end it with Lindsay or be a coward?

And, yes, to Rory, Dean was a good guy. Over that year she was reminded of that repeatedly. She watched him get married (stable), he was there when she had her "meltdown"(reliable), he listened to her stories after Spring Break (supportive), he showed up to get her home after the date with the Yale guy (chivalrous). You're not looking at it from the characters' perspectives, you're looking at it from your own judgemental views. Rory wanted ALL that after a year of crappy dates and Jess reappearing and messing with her.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

I think most of them considered Dean a good guy. Luke irrationally hated Dean and Logan so he didn't have any objectivity. Dean will always be considered a good guy by Lorelai because he treated Rory the way she wanted a first boyfriend to treat her. I do think Dean was a good person who made some mistakes due to impulsive behavior. He was wrong to date Lindsay just to get a reaction out of Rory and then he proposes after a fight he has with Jess over Rory. It's funny because Rory acted like having a boyfriend was necessary. She was in two relationships in high one of which lasted two years with a couple of short breakups and she immediately got with Jess. She had a great life and she was being a huge baby.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

Cheating with a married man is only inexcusable if you believe in the institution of marriage.

Lorelai considered Dean to be the best sort of guy. She even tried to support round 2 of their relationship. If she really disliked him, she'd have acted the way she did with Logan or Jess. She was very vocal about those things. Luke had a mentality that Rory was a 5 year old girl and would never age. It was disturbing. That he also thought fighting 16 year old boys was appropriate is also disturbing. Therefore, using him as evidence is discarded. Because I say so.

We're obviously going to have to agree to disagree. I personally don't think sleeping with married people is as great a sin as you do, and I try to appreciate other issues that could lead to affairs or unfaithfulness. Was Rory wrong to assume he was "her Dean?" Yes. Was she wrong to think it would be OK? Yes. Was she wrong to do it? Debatable. Did she handle the situation well? Definitely not. Personally, I'm glad Emily and Richard ended it. But she was a young woman and he was a young man. It's not that big a deal.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

Perhaps, but it's not your place to decry what is inexcusable or not. If he wants to go back on his vows, he can. It's not a new phenomenon.

I don't think in the feminist hand book there is any reference to "thou shalt not sleep with a sister's husband." The point of feminism is equality. Being ALLOWED to make bad decisions is EQUALITY.

Lorelai sent Rory away for Rory's sake, not for Dean's. Rory was acting a brat and Lorelai wanted her away from influences. In the same conversation about sending her away, she asks Rory if everything is OK between Rory and Dean. She still cares.

Lindsay got married at 18 to a guy she'd dated for 5 months. It didn't look like she was a great wife. A townhouse? Not everyone wants to be tied down to material commitments at 18. Their marriage was a sham. I reiterate, Dean is not excused for cheating on his wife but sometimes people do bad things to end things.
I also think you're reading far too much into how lindsay is feeling after he cheated on her. This is Gilmore Girls, she'd probably be fine a few months later.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] fishpan 8 years ago

Being allowed to make bad decisions with Equality, means having to face the consequences equally. Rory got a five star trip and a town that was willing to throw her a parade. Rory's only real consequence was Linsday's mother getting in Rory's face for two minutes - that isn't a consequence that is an inconvenience as it was shown that Rory didn't change her behaviour at all as the affair was the start of the bratty behaviour. The greatest consequence of that was the stuff with the boat and she was getting that expunged at some point.

It doesn't matter if Lorelai still cares about her, but what do you expect she is Rory's mother/BFF, we never saw any consequence in changes in Rory's behaviour, she was still an entitled brat, because no one she actually gave two hoots about saw her like Lane saw the girls who where chasing after Zack, she didn't get the same sort of treatment Dean got from people in the town who weren't related to any party (ie Luke) and she wasn't self aware to truly wake up to the fact that she shouldn't be acting out when she wasn't happy and that was what the affair was her way of acting out - she didn't love Dean at that point, she was lonely and not happy at School so she clung to the her old life which included a Dean who was also not happy.

Lindsay, yeah she made a mistake but from what we know of Stars Hollow, well she's been humiliated and will always be the girl who got married too young and was cheated on and will never actually have anyone in that town will see it outside 'Rory made a mistake but she got her life on track now or she'll get there'. That makes it worse, Lindsay's pain isn't her pain, her pain by everyone else in the town where she lives is seen through the lense of how it affected the other woman.

And I can't believe you are effectively blamed Lindsay by saying she kind of deserved it, because that is what you are saying. I get people do stupid things to end things but come on she didn't deserve to be publicly humiliated like the way she was.

It's like saying Shane deserved to be described as someone Jess shared her petrie dish with. No one forced Jess to go with Shane but Shane, the girl, the one we knew was a place holder for Jess', is the one described as having the petrie dish?

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

Being allowed to make bad decisions with Equality, means having to face the consequences equally.

Absolutely, but we never see Dean face any consequences from the town community at all for being a cheater. Even though he's more at fault as he was the married one.

[–] fishpan 8 years ago

However, we do and I'm not disagreeing that he was at fault at all.

We see him have his clothes thrown out of his apartment, we do see him moving back in with disapproving parents and we do see that there are people in the town still judging him after the affair - Luke on the double date.

Rory five star trip and to Logan and Emily and Richard the sleeping with Dean never happened. Remember the sweater talk? Dean took Rory's virtue, not Logan but that isn't what Rory told Logan is it in that episode. Does Logan know Rory's sexual history? It might not seem much but he is swapping bodily fluids with her.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

Yeah dean's life was basically a mess. He was working a lot, he had to move back in with his parents, everyone judged him, Luke irrationally hated him, and he was trying to make things with Rory when they simply weren't going to make it as a couple. Rory just bounced back without any consequences and moved on with Logan. I wish Lindsay's mom would've yelled at her when Lorelai wasn't around because she deserved it.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

everyone judged him

Yeah, his life was a mess for practical divorce reasons, but didn't most people chalk it up to young marriage? How many knew it was his infidelity that was the reason and directly confronted him for it? I'm sincerely asking because I seems that I've missed a bit around this storyline in all the binge-watching excitement.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

I think everyone knew about the infidelity but no one confronted him directly because the other woman was Rory. I think if he cheated with anyone else then someone from the town would've confronted him or at least openly discussed it in front of people. I remember Luke asking Lorelai if Rory was involved after the fact but he didn't get a straight answer. Given the investigative nature of the residents I find it impossible to believe that no one knew Rory was the other woman but they ignored it so the town angel wouldn't be criticized.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] A_Llama_Drama 8 years ago

On this, I heartily agree. That the town never once questioned what had happened?!? It was inexcusable. That Emily and Richard never once chastised Rory when they found out she was back with a man who had been married until she had an affair with him seemed strange. They never even had a go at Lorelai.

My teenage angst has a body count

[–] nclpllm 8 years ago

Add to this that it was right at the same time that Emily was upset about the lunches with Pennilyn Lott. The Yale Male party would have happened a lot sooner had they known Rory was secret friends with a married guy.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

Yeah I agree that was definitely her mindset. But according to Jess and Rory didn't disagree, Dean and Rory didn't actually talk about anything lol. It's interesting how some fans feel the same way as Rory but they don't hold Jess accountable at all. It's never okay to use someone. Shane is still a person and didn't deserve it. But I notice on shows that women who embrace their sexuality aren't deemed worthy of a relationship and decent guy. It worked out for the best anyway because Jess didn't treat Rory well.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] blondiebear_17 8 years ago

It's never okay to use someone. Shane is still a person and didn't deserve it. But I notice on shows that women who embrace their sexuality aren't deemed worthy of a relationship and decent guy. It worked out for the best anyway because Jess didn't treat Rory well.

Didn't Jess have a long drawn out conversation with Luke about how Shane and him didn't even like each other? So it seemed as if he wasn't using Shane so much as they were using each other. He could have been Shane's rebound guy or like just like a make-out partner. She probably had the same intentions as Jess. He said they both treat each other like garbage and that it was a symbiotic relationship.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

I don't really know her intentions because we don't get any insight into her character but either way Jess is still equally "slutty". I also don't trust Jess' perception because she could've liked him but realized she wouldn't get more than something casual.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]