Can't understand why people love the dad so much in this movie!

Come on, he was selfish, stupid, cowardly and he abandoned his whole family while pretending to be patriotic, killing people on the front lines and getting killed himself on the front lines, even after he died and crossed over he didn't have the courage to tell Grace and the kids that they were dead too and the fact that wasn't allowed to stay with them in the house for as long as he pleased? KARMA! Anyone with half an eye would be able to see that he was being punished eternity for the way he 'lived' his life he abandoned them in life and part of his punishment was to be forced to see the wreck of a mess he helped create by not being there for his family. He said sometimes he bleeds, well no shit Sherlock! Anyone would sometimes bleed under the circumstance! But nothing at all was said that he couldn't tell Grace and the kids the truth about their deaths and the servants deaths, and who's alive and who isn't while he was given minimal access to them in the movie; and while Grace was the villain in the long run who killed them all, his hands weren't exactly clean in that regard either meaning he isn't allowed for heaven either and it served him right.