MovieChat Forums > Pay It Forward (2000) Discussion > from a mother who lost her son

from a mother who lost her son

posted 19 years ago by goldstalk
14 replies | jump to latest

i cried like never before, and i have cried A LOT in the past 5 years! this was a really different cry, though, because i think it was a cleansing cry - i cried for myself and for everyone who has lost a child - the terrible ALONENESS and hopelessness, and the desperate search to make something "good" come out of it; to fill that void/emptiness where part of our own future was ruthlessly taken from you....

it will be 5 years, on Aug. 21, since i lost my 19 year old son in a car accident. you go into shock and people come out of the woodwork to console you (and then in 2 or 3 weeks they're all gone and you're left all alone to "get over it", an impossibility, but that's another story...)

the candlelight vigil was NOT out of the ordinary - i watched that scene carefully, and as the camera zoomed out, it was a lot of people, but not the whole town. it would be quite normal for Trevor's classmates and their families to show their support quickly & quietly in that manner. (i would have loved to experience that myself, but it was late at night when the sheriff's deputies left. i went into shock and sat on the edge of my bed for hours....)

i really like this movie - it is filled with hope and tenderness and love for one another - the good that will come out of the bad will reach great heights!

[–] Cosmo_1 19 years ago

I feel your pain... I lost a cousin this year in March... first time to lose someone. She was only 15 turning 16 in April and we had all this stuff planned out... me and my friend wanted to take her shopping (I'm a guy). One Saturday evening she came over to say Hi and all. My sister and her was best friends since childhood. I knew her all my life... Birthday parties, family gathering. I was really close with her. But then Sunday night she went back to her city and didn't make it out of a house fire accident. A brilliant sweet young girl who had dreams bigger than anyone I've seen... she touched many people when she moved from our town.

I was coming home from work and took a shower, when I came out my sister was on the bed crying and crying. I was asked her did she had a bad dream? Why are you crying? She then said that Sam and her family's house is burning away right now and she is trapped in there, all her family member are out except for her. I didn't believe this, I ran to the living room and there was my mom crying and my dad on the phone... two minutes later, they say the fire was too much and she didn't make it... I went into shock, my sister came out and I told her... she went into shock.

The news keep replaying over and over like a nigthmare... Coming from a hard day of work to find out about this wasn't what I planned... I've cried, held my sister till she slept, telling her Sam is in a better place.

This movies reminds me of her so much. She touched everyone in our school in some way. During her funeral they fundraised over 5000 in one day of carwash... everyone was giving and thankful. I believe God called her up, she did her purpose. Obviously she was a very good Angle. And when the song I hear at the end of this movie saying Calling All Angles... it makes me think of her.

But in the end, All the times I've thought about death, scared of death and this... My cousin dies, and now... I'm not scare of death no more, I know there is someone waiting for me and that is her. I love you.

Life is overrated until you lose someone close to you then you would never think twice about taking their place. God bless you all.

Sometimes, I guess there's just not enough rocks. - Forrest Gump

[–] goldstalk 19 years ago

I am SO sorry for you and your/her family! It is ALWAYS hardest for those of us that are left behind. What an unbearable tragedy...you must still be trying to make sense of it all. For some reason, I get the sense that God saved her from the pain of the fire and there were many sweet spirits there to help her cross over.

I have read that the newly departed stay with us and try to comfort us, but we are in too much pain and grief to feel them - maybe their comfort DOES help, and our grief would be UNBEARABLE without their help....

You are a very insightful young man. I know what you mean: death is no longer frightening! In fact, there's a part of us that can't wait to see our loved ones again - something to look forward to!

God bless you, too - I wish you and your family comfort as you deal with what lies ahead...

[–] saxonia 18 years ago

it's terrible to lose loved ones. in my family/friends, deaths always come in threes, and we've had far too many sets of three, every year or two. im 15 and cant remember Not going to funerals. it was never some i was close too, but i always new someone who was close to the person. the worst for me was when our closest family friends ( their children are like sibling to me and my sister) their grandpa passed away. i didnt know him well... but seeing them soo upset was so hard for me.

watching pay it forward really made me think of all the people who have passed. i think the ending with the candles was kinda of a tribute to all those people. i almost want to cry every time i see it. i think it'd be a honour to get that kind of recognition.

no one really close to me has passed, but i have to say, im not afriad of death either, ive come to accept it as part of life.

[–] khan-asif 16 years ago

i am very sorry for your loses. Its very difficult to forget anyone who dies and who was close tou when alive. I dnot know what best we can do, i think the best we an do in this World, to help others who need help like in this movie, and try to spread happiness.
And we should be always first to offer our help, rather helping somebody when he/she asks us.
God bless all

[–] tragic-kingdom-lovee 18 years ago

:[[ i can't even imagine the pain that you must have gone through
i recently had a dream about my mom dieing and i woke up in a fit of tears that i couldnt stop for about an hour.
it's so wierd how much we take for granted

[–] rissa930 18 years ago

I'm so sorry for both of your losses.

And the same thing happened to me, tragic-kingdom-lovee.

We do take eeeeeeeeverything for granted.

"I didn't know you had this problem with...yelling in my face"
-Dally Winston

[–] thecolorplum 16 years ago

It is really crazy how fast people forget about someone who has just lost someone so close to them after 3 weeks and they expect you to just get over it. My great aunt lost her daughter 5 yrs ago, and still cries about it. You can never fully get over the death of a child. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

[–] winterstar13 16 years ago

I know what you mean...my Aunt (married to my Mom's brother) lost her parents and brother in a brutal homicide 3 years ago. They were all shot and then the house was burned. My Aunt has never been the same since. She cries at all family occasions saying her Mom should be there. She goes to therapy with a priest every week and has a support group she also attends. But she is still upset. My Mom annoys me because she keeps telling me my Aunt has to "get over it, it's been 3 years already." I don't expect my Aunt to get over it. If she ever does it will be when she feels ready. I think people need to be more supportive.

[–] lazypessimist 16 years ago

i understand how difficult it is after i lost my father,but i came out of it bacause of some really good friends who didn't thankfully leave alone to get over it.i hope you guys find someone to as well.

[–] BethH24 15 years ago

Goldstalk, i lost my cousin in a car accident in August 2001 as well, and he was also 19 years old !. What's even worse is his older brother died in the same way in 1997 at the age of 24 !.The oldest one died the week before he was due to get engaged, and it was the day after he had been to a party,he had also just finished studying to become a lawyer, and the younger one also died the night after he had been to a party, and it was just a few weeks before he was due to start college to learn to become a Jazz Teacher.He had studied Jazz ever since he was a child.They were both very kind, intelligent and caring. They had another brother who is 30 years old now. I know exactly how you feel. This film, and other films similar to it, also remind me of my cousins, and I still miss them and talk about them to this day. Sadly, i didn't know them very well as they lived pretty far away from where i live, and i wish i could have seen them more often. I sometimes wonder what they would have been like now too.

[–] bpalavicini 15 years ago

wtf is this ?

this a movie forum.....ok ?

[–] Public-Enemy-01 14 years ago

Your comment made me cry:( I'm only 18 and i can only imagine the pain. Good luck, please remember the night is darkess just before dawn

Haley Joel Osment, Jimmy Bennett and Nathan Gamble. Truly brilliant actors

[–] zach055 12 years ago

The concept of 'pay it forward" has been around since 317 BC

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward#History

[–] nancy-mitrione 10 years ago

I know this is 9 years old, however, just wanted to offer you condolences on the loss of your son. No parent should have to outlive their child.