MovieChat Forums > Miss Congeniality (2000) Discussion > 100 Things I learned from Miss Congenial...

100 Things I learned from Miss Congeniality...

posted 18 years ago by XfeedXyourXheadX
51 replies | jump to latest

I'll start...

1. April 25th is the best date because it's "not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."
2. Grace gets HBO.
3. "Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."
4. Gliding is, "all in the buttocks."
5. New Jersey is called, "The Garden State" because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a liscense plate.

OK, now fill in the rest guys!

"Man who catch fly with chopsticks accomplish anything," RIP, Pat Morita.

[–] lil_danca06 18 years ago

1. April 25th is the best date because it's "not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."
2. Grace gets HBO.
3. "Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."
4. Gliding is, "all in the buttocks."
5. New Jersey is called, "The Garden State" because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a liscense plate.
6.Cheryl's hot chocolate is fat free and really hot.
7.she kick boxes
8. she needs new appliances
9.

--I'll send you a copy' BAM! BIT*H went down! I'll send you a copy' BAM! SYD! SUPERBIT*H!!

[–] trippytirpy 18 years ago

9. You loose 10 point off of your I.Q. if you chage your name to Gracie Lou Freebush

10. You can say lesbian on live T.V.
11. How to hide guns and handcuffs in my evening gown.
12. Most important I learned how to S.I.N.G.! (soloflexes, instep, nose, groin)

Welcome to the Caribbean love!

[–] DoctorGravy 18 years ago

13. That you can fit an armored car in a dress
14. People can tell the difference between Bullocks breast size when there are doughnuts in there

If practice makes perfect, and nobodys perfect, why practice?

[–] HarleyQuintette 18 years ago

15: The FBI can cut the queue in Starbucks

[–] rock_you99 18 years ago

16. Pretending to be Gay gets you past pagent security...
17. Its easier to get information out of other contestants if you give them pizza and Beer..

Yes, Gum would be perfection. - Chandler, "Friends"

[–] TruE_stAr19 18 years ago

18. In Texas, Everybody has a gun.
19. Betrayal implies an action, not just standing there.
20. The one most important thing our society needs is... harsher punishment for parole violators... And, world peace!
21. An incurable disease is, stupidity.
22. Karen (New York) wants to let all the lesbians out there know, that if she can make it to the top ten, then so can you!
23. Hairspray stops the bathing suits from riding up.
24. Cheryl's mum said that the red underwear she stole were "Satan's Panties".
25. The last time Gracie was *this* naked in public she was coming out of a uterus.
26. In place of relationships, Gracie has sarcasm and a gun!

Wow! LOL! This was fun!

Bishop O'Hara: You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.
Rev. Mother: I lied.

[–] Taylor_is_tight 18 years ago

27. Disdain works for Vic
28. Cathy hates people who lurk in the shadows
29. It's time that Gracie applies at her local Hooters.
30. It takes a very secure man to walk like that
31. Eric dated Miss Scarsdale last month, and yes, he is that superficial.

Xandi Sanders
God made coke. God made Pepsi. God made Greg Sanders so darn sexy!

[–] sawyer_012 17 years ago

32. ALWAYS pray before you take a bite of your bagel and shmear.
33. You can eat pizza and drink cheap beer as long as you throw it up later.
34. It always helps to double up the cup when you have a long trip.

[–] Fading_Light 17 years ago

35.When a professor attacks you it's best to keep it to yourself and laugh about it.
36.A crown can fly 100feet in the air
37.When someone pulls out a cigarette it's best to pounce on him in public

[–] Isaac5855 17 years ago

38. Gracie is addicted to Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream.

39. Benjamin Bratt is a stone cold hottie!

[–] trippytirpy 17 years ago

40. There's a dress up sally website?!

I get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal.

[–] gracejen6 17 years ago

41. Cathy will enjoy the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant.
42. It's never "yeah", always "yes".

[–] nuStevieMc 17 years ago

43. If you fall off stage at a Miss USA Pageant, several people will catch you.

Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide!

[–] LadyHope45678 17 years ago

This is fun! Let's see...
44. If your talent show is all drunk up, then you can teach self-defense.
45. Don't mess with a woman when she's tired, starved, and armed.

[–] catjubb 17 years ago

46. Victor cannot concentrate on what Grace is saying when she has a half masticated cow rolling around in her wide open trap.

Wolf nipple chips! Get em while they're hot they're lovely!

[–] LadyHope45678 17 years ago

47. Stealing panties and drinking beer makes you a wild woman.
48. You can't talk girl talk with a guy in your head.

[–] Isaac5855 17 years ago

49. It's not a pageant...it's a scholarship program.

[–] vampyrslayer93 17 years ago

50. Being called Gracie Lou Freebush makes your I.Q drop ten points.
51. The previous Miss New Jersey had her title removed for being in a porn movie.
52. You can be the only person to enter the final sequenced walk from the side and not get noticed.
53. If Miss Texas attempts to stop you saving Miss USA, just smack her in the nose.

[–] LadyHope45678 17 years ago

54. Gracie is very protective of her new friends. She will hurt you if you threaten them.
55. Gliding is all in the buttocks.

[–] ah_jlee 17 years ago

56: God will kick you back if he notice your fake wreck

[–] Yellowlab 17 years ago

57. REM sleep cycles are very important for beauty.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Dayna_Rules 17 years ago

61. Gracie is NOT making it into the top ten with that wine-glass technique.

Join the army of the Anti-Mary-Sues. Together, we shall destroy them all.

[–] Lizzie1408 17 years ago

62. If your microwave doesn't shut - shove a kitchen implement in the door.
63. You HAVE to wear the bathing suit.
64. Bikini wax HURTS
65. Operation Thong has commenced

[–] Faerygirl19 17 years ago

66. Not only can you call people "fruitcake" if they're crazy, you can also use the creative "cupcake".
67. In a way, America is like a big ship, and when we work together and respect each other, that's when the ship gets safely home...
68. Women fighting beauty paegants, are either feminists, intellectuals or ugly women.
69. Vic is a doughnut- nazi.
70. Gracie's pink evening dress (when Eric pulls her into the pool) is absolutely, freakin GORGEOUS!! (I want it..!)

"In the few hours we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth." - Sarah Connor

[–] witchery8 17 years ago

71. By changing your last name, you can clear an FBI search.
72. While Kathy Morningside thought she was responsible for Gracie's transformation, it was Victor and FBI beauticians.
73. No one likes a diet chocolate drink.
74. The intros given to the five finalists of the Miss United States pageant are total BS.

I'm quite a lovely person - apart from my terrible taste in pie.

[–] softballlover3 17 years ago

75. you can have sex on the stage as your talent
76. Stan's relatives were quakers
77. you can not chew gum

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Land_down_under 17 years ago

80. FBI Director Harry McDonald isn't moving until he sees some goddamn "Lazhitsa na pol"!!

[–] illhavetheveal 17 years ago

81. Watch the hands, Garson

[–] ErinOrdway 17 years ago

82.) Eyebrows...there should be TWO!

[–] ihearthorror 17 years ago

83. Taxi drivers can't see people gliding across the street.
84. When your crown gets stolen, open your mouth reaaal wide, and CRY!
85. Cathy Morningside threw a chair out the window.
86. Lit Professors attack you all the time.
87. SHE ATE FOUR SLICES!

I'm seriously crying because Michael's leaving MADtv!
:shock::no::banghead::cry::broken:

[–] negativitytaken 17 years ago

88. Just to let yall know, Miss Texas believes what it says on that AlamoDome...they are ALL winners.
89. Georgia gets to wear the one piece and Gracie has to wear THIS.
90. Rhode Island's parents don't like anything ostentatious and they really don't like fire.
91. Miss Texas SAW that gentleman stop by the room...

[–] hipeoples302 17 years ago

92. Vic is gonna kill eric for pulling gracie in the pool with her dress on.
93. Gracie likes to sing to the people that like her. [[you think i'm gorgeous]]
95. Hemorroid ointment is for the little baggies under your eyes.
96. The only thing gracie reconizes in the pagent is hair spray.
97. The girls drank gracie's talent because they got dehydrated.
98. A girl's dream is NOT to be blown up.
99. Gracie is going to miss heels because they do something for her posture. And suddenly aware and very proud of her breasts.
100. Eric agrees.

Jim: What's a TAM-POON?
Bob: IDK BUT THEY TASTE GOOD!

[–] Miss_Fedora 17 years ago

62. Grace sucks at arguing.
63. Benjamin Bratt thinks she's gorgeous...
64. Grace should have *two* eyebrows.
65. Grace gets her shoes made special by the same guy that put the tattoo on her ass.

[–] Movie_Maven6 17 years ago

LMAO...well done everyone and only a couple were mentioned more than once.

http://movies.contentquake.com

[–] MarkInArizona 17 years ago

101. Beauty pagent, sorry, scholarship pagent contestants really want each other to look their best and will help another contestant with their makeup right before judging in a heartbeat.

102. It's okay for FBI agents to give beer, sorry, lite beer to contestants under the age of 21 because they are trying to solve the case.

103. It's okay to make a bad sequel to a so-so movie. (Sorry, this should be posted for Miss Congeniality 2)

[–] hipeoples302 17 years ago

as for 101....its just a movie...

as for number 102...im pretty sure all the contestants are over 21...
especially since they all went to that place and got beer im sure they had their ID's checked.

as for 103...i think the sequel was just as good as the first and the orignal is great.

Jim: What's a TAM-POON?
Bob: IDK BUT THEY TASTE GOOD!

[–] CherryVoltron 16 years ago

104. Even Russians can choke on peanuts
105. If you protect a boy, he'll call you a Dorkbrain
106. If Vic had a daughter, she'd be like Gracie, which is why he never had kids.
107. The Citizen nut loves to make a splash.
108. Washington has nice apples

**Close Your Eyes Freckles**

[–] Faerygirl19 16 years ago

109. Gracie didn't know that having sex on the stage was even an option.
110. According to Vic, the interview is the single most important part of the pageant, in fact, a whole 30% of your total score..!
111. ...and Gracie suggests that the other 70% is cleveage.
112: For god's sake, tuck in your shirt..!!

Amor est vitae essentia
- Robert B. McKay

[–] jrhpax 15 years ago

109. Preparation H isn't just for hemorrhoids anymore.

[–] rdartigu 16 years ago

38. Pizza & light beer is okay because you're going to throw it up anyway.
39. 25 years of bitching beauty queens will get you fired & arrested.

[–] chrisbedford 16 years ago

Most important I learned how to S.I.N.G.! (soloflexes, instep, nose, groin)

That would be SOLAR PLEXUS, Dingbat. Solar Plexus: n, a point on the stomach wall, just below the sternum, where a blow will affect the nerve center (located behind the stomach and in front of the aorta, also, confusingly, called the solar plexus) - usually temporarily paralysing the diaphragm and thus the breathing.

Soloflexes, indeed.

[–] BlueNight87 16 years ago

113. You can say it TexAss

I've seen all the movies

[–] Rockhound6165 16 years ago

114: A states contestant can be disqualified and replaced by someone who didn't take part in that pageant let alone live in that state.

115: Miss Rhode Island belonged to a radical animal rights group yet keeps an assault by one of her professors to herself.

116: Miss NY is a lesbian.

117: Contestants of the Miss United States Pageant can go to local clubs without the burden of chaperons.

118: It's Texas. Everyone has a gun...with the exception of Stan.

[–] wanderful101 16 years ago

119. Miss Texas can eat as much Mexican food as she can get
120. You really love me, you want to hug me, you want to smooch me...
121. Don't cry for me...Alabama!
122. This lady has two a$$es
123. After a hard day, take it out on your punching bag while listening to Salt n Pepa
124. I forgot the Alamo

[–] Zeusy 16 years ago

125. If a Pageant winner mysteriously comes down with food poisoning, it is a large enough ailment to force her to step down and allow runner-up Cathy Morningside to take her place.

[–] TigerlilyBramble_of_WillowBottom 16 years ago

126. Going to a nightclub in your workout clothes and slinging glow-in-the-blacklight paint is so much fun, it should be illegal.

127. Miss California is a dramatic coloratura soprano.

128. Miss Hawaii wasn't finished. Did it sound like she was finished?

129. She has, however, been drinking too much Coppertone.

I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.

[–] dethdroogie502 12 years ago

130. Gracie is easy to talk to when unarmed.

131. Apparently when Eric doesn't want to talk about something that's bothering him Gracie beats it out of him.

132. FBI bomb sniffing dogs can also be used as a doughnut nazi.

133. Both of Gracie's dates were really screwed up.

134. Frank's father used to do that slow creepy thing in the shadows!

135. It DID sound like Miss Hawaii was finished.

136. Stan will continue to recite "Miss United States" despite all the crazy fights and explosions ._.

[–] CptHowdy87 15 years ago

125. If a Pageant winner mysteriously comes down with food poisoning, it is a large enough ailment to force her to step down and allow runner-up Cathy Morningside to take her place.

I assume you've never had food poisoning before.